When you’ve been with someone for a long time, it’s natural for your relationship to end up on autopilot.
However, keeping your connection strong and healthy requires constant attention and effort — you can’t just tune out and expect things to keep on humming along without issues. While you don’t need to overthink things or be putting in non-stop graft, you should always pay attention to these things if you want to guarantee a happy, healthy partnership long-term.
1. Communication
Clear communication is the backbone of any strong relationship. It’s essential to openly discuss your thoughts, feelings, and concerns without fear of judgment. Pay attention to how well you both communicate and whether you feel heard, understood, and respected in conversations.
2. Trust
Trust is built over time, but it can be easily damaged. Always be aware of how much trust you both have in each other and whether it’s being maintained. Healthy relationships thrive on honesty and reliability, so it’s important to address any issues with trust as soon as they arise.
3. Emotional support
Are you both there for each other during tough times? Emotional support is a crucial part of any relationship. Make sure you’re offering a listening ear, comfort, and encouragement when needed. Also, take note of whether your partner is doing the same for you.
4. Physical affection
Physical touch isn’t just about intimacy; it’s about showing love and care through simple gestures. Pay attention to how often you’re both physically affectionate, whether it’s holding hands, hugging, or cuddling. These small acts of love can help you both feel more connected.
5. Conflict resolution
How you handle arguments says a lot about the health of your relationship. Pay attention to whether conflicts are resolved in a respectful and productive way or if they’re swept under the rug. Healthy conflict resolution helps build understanding and strengthens your bond.
6. Shared values
It’s important to be on the same page when it comes to core values, like how you view family, finances, or future goals. Make sure you’re both aligned on what matters most to you and your vision for the future. Differences in values can create tension if not addressed early on.
7. Quality time
Spending quality time together is vital. Pay attention to whether you’re both making an effort to prioritise time for each other, whether it’s through date nights, shared hobbies, or just unwinding together. Quality time helps deepen your connection and strengthens the relationship.
8. Appreciation
Everyone wants to feel appreciated in a relationship. Notice if you’re both expressing gratitude for the little things your partner does. A simple “thank you” can go a long way in making both of you feel valued and loved.
9. Independence
While spending time together is important, so is maintaining your individual identities. Pay attention to whether you both have enough space to pursue personal interests, hobbies, and friendships outside of the relationship. A healthy balance of togetherness and independence is key.
10. Intimacy
Physical intimacy is an important aspect of romantic relationships, and it should be mutually satisfying. Keep an eye on how often you’re both feeling fulfilled in this area. Open discussions about intimacy help keep your connection strong and ensure both of you are happy.
11. Kindness and respect
Every relationship needs kindness and respect to thrive. Make sure that you’re treating each other with empathy and consideration. Pay attention to whether there are any moments of disrespect, criticism, or hurtful behaviour, and address them immediately.
12. Future plans
Make sure you’re both on the same page about your future. Whether it’s about moving in together, marriage, or other big life changes, it’s essential to have these discussions. Knowing your partner’s long-term goals ensures you’re both heading in the same direction.
13. Shared responsibilities
In a healthy relationship, responsibilities—whether it’s managing finances, household chores, or supporting each other’s careers—are shared. Pay attention to whether there’s a fair balance or if one partner is carrying more of the load. An equal partnership helps avoid resentment and strengthens your bond.
14. Support for personal growth
A strong relationship encourages personal growth and development. Make sure you’re both supporting each other’s goals, whether it’s pursuing a career change, learning a new skill, or becoming healthier. Helping each other grow is essential for both individual and shared success.
15. Fun and playfulness
Laughter and playful moments are just as important as the serious conversations. Pay attention to whether you’re both still having fun together, whether it’s through inside jokes, spontaneous adventures, or playful moments. Keeping things fun helps maintain excitement and joy in your relationship.
