Whether you moved away or your family did, living away from your relatives can be tough.
You miss them dearly and often think how much better life would be if they were close by. However, for whatever reason, that’s not an option right now, and sometimes that’s a harder pill to swallow than others. If your family lives far enough away that you can’t just hop in the car and go see them whenever you’d like, here are some things you’ll probably relate to.
1. Video calls become your lifeline.
Your phone or laptop turns into a magic portal to home. You find yourself scheduling video calls like they’re sacred rituals. Sunday dinners become virtual affairs, with your family gathered around their screen, and you propped up on the table via iPad. You perfect the art of angling your camera to hide the mess in your room. Sometimes, you catch yourself talking to the screen long after the call has ended, just because it feels so much like being there.
2. You become a master of time zones.
Suddenly, you’re a human calculator, always doing mental maths to figure out if it’s an okay time to call. You find yourself saying things like, “It’s my mum’s birthday at 2 PM my time, which is… um… tomorrow morning for her?” You’ve got multiple clocks on your phone, and you know exactly when your family’s day is starting or ending. You’ve accidentally woken people up or called during dinner more times than you’d like to admit.
3. Holidays hit differently.
The festive season brings a mix of emotions. You feel a pang when you see other people heading home for the holidays. You become an expert at mailing gifts in advance and praying they arrive on time. Sometimes, you create your own traditions with friends or other “strays” in your area. You might find yourself explaining your home country’s holidays to puzzled locals, or trying to recreate family recipes with ingredients you can find locally.
4. Your suitcase is always ready for action.
Source: Unsplash You’ve got packing down to a science. Your suitcase is probably always half-packed with things you only use when you’re home. You know exactly how much your airline allows and how to maximise every inch and gram. You’ve become a pro at picking meaningful yet packable gifts. And let’s not even talk about the mental gymnastics of deciding what to leave at your parents’ place and what to bring back.
5. You cherish physical mail like never before.
In this digital age, getting something in the post becomes extra special. A card from your gran, a care package from your parents, or even just a postcard can make your whole week. You find yourself checking the mailbox with a childlike excitement. You’ve probably got a pinboard full of letters and cards, and you reread them when you’re feeling homesick. You might even have started sending more physical mail yourself, just because you know how good it feels to receive it.
6. You become the family’s foreign correspondent.
You’re constantly sharing little snippets of your life abroad. Your family wants to know everything — what the streets look like, what you’re eating, even what the inside of your local supermarket looks like. You find yourself taking photos of the most mundane things because you know your mum will find it fascinating. You’ve probably given more virtual tours of your flat than you can count.
7. You develop a love-hate relationship with social media.
Source: Unsplash Social media becomes both a blessing and a curse. It’s great for keeping up with family events and seeing photos of your little cousins growing up. But it also means you see everything you’re missing out on. Birthdays, weddings, family gatherings — they all play out on your screen, and sometimes it stings a bit. You find yourself alternating between obsessively checking for updates and needing to take breaks from it all.
8. Your accent becomes a chameleon.
Source: Unsplash You notice your accent starts to change, picking up bits and pieces from your new home. But the moment you call home, your original accent comes flooding back. You might find yourself using phrases or slang from your new country, only to be met with confusion from your family. You become a translator of sorts, explaining local expressions to your family and vice versa. Sometimes, you forget which words belong to which place.
9. You master the art of the care package.
You become an expert at curating the perfect mix of home comforts and local discoveries to send back. You know exactly which treats travel well and which ones are worth the extra packing effort. You’ve probably had more than one mishap with customs regulations. You find yourself hoarding local snacks and trinkets, always thinking about what your family might like. Sending a care package becomes a way of sharing your new life with them.
10. You feel guilty about missed milestones.
There’s a special kind of guilt that comes with missing important family events. Weddings, graduations, milestone birthdays — sometimes you just can’t be there in person. You find yourself sending extra-long messages or elaborate gifts to make up for your absence. You’ve perfected the art of the heartfelt video message. Sometimes, you feel like you’re living your life in parallel, always aware of what you’re gaining in your new home and what you’re missing back with your family.
11. Your definition of “home” becomes complicated.
The concept of home starts to feel fluid. You find yourself saying “I’m going home” when you’re heading to your flat, but also when you’re flying back to see your family. Holidays become a juggling act of deciding where “home” is this year. You start to realise that home isn’t just a place, but a feeling. Sometimes, you feel most at home in the in-between spaces, like airports or long bus rides.
12. You become a weather app for two places.
You’re always aware of the weather in two locations. You find yourself chatting about the rain back home while you’re sweating in the sun, or vice versa. You’ve had more than one conversation that goes, “It’s freezing here!” “Really? We’re melting!” You become an expert at packing for two climates when you visit. Sometimes, you catch yourself checking the weather back home out of habit, even when you have no plans to visit soon.
13. You develop a new appreciation for your family’s quirks.
Distance makes you see your family in a new light. Those little habits that used to drive you crazy? Now they’re endearing. You find yourself missing your dad’s bad jokes or your mum’s fussing. You start to understand your parents better as you navigate adult life on your own. When you do get together, you cherish even the mundane moments — like just sitting in the living room together — in a way you never did before.
14. Your reunions are intense emotional rollercoasters.
When you do see your family, it’s a whirlwind of emotions. There’s the excitement building up to the trip, the joy of reuniting, and then the bittersweet pain of saying goodbye again. You try to cram months of quality time into a week or two. You find yourself staying up late, trying to squeeze in every conversation, every favourite meal, every familiar place. And then, all too soon, you’re back at the airport, already planning the next visit.
15. You become fiercely independent, yet crave family support.
Living far from family forces you to become self-reliant. You handle everything from minor emergencies to big life decisions on your own. But at the same time, you find yourself longing for family support in a way you never did before. A hug from mum, advice from dad, a laugh with your siblings — these become precious commodities. You learn to lean on friends and build a chosen family in your new home, but there’s always a part of you that misses that unconditional family support.
