Going through a divorce is often a devastating process, even if you’re the one who initiated it.
The marriage simply isn’t tenable anymore, but even if you recognise and accept that, going through with the legal process of ending the relationship is upsetting, stressful, and often expensive. You’re bound to experience your fair share of ups and downs along the way, but if you’re just getting started, here are some tips that might make your divorce just slightly easier.
1. Take a deep breath and try to stay calm.
You’ll likely feel overwhelmed by emotions, but try not to let them take control. Pausing to breathe and centre yourself will help you approach each step with a clearer mindset. It’s important to remember that divorce is a long process, and keeping your emotions in check can prevent hasty decisions that you might regret later. This is a journey, so take it one step at a time.
2. Gather all your important documents.
Start pulling together anything from financial records to marriage certificates. You don’t want to be scrambling for paperwork when things start getting complicated. Having these documents neatly organised will save you time and reduce stress as the process moves forward. Making extra copies and having them readily accessible is a smart move that’ll keep you one step ahead.
3. Open a separate bank account in your name.
If you don’t already have one, setting up your own bank account is a must. It’s not just about separating your finances—it’s about taking back control of your financial future. Whether you’re managing bills or starting to save, having your own money gives you the freedom to make decisions independently. Plus, it sets the foundation for the new chapter of your life where you manage your own resources.
4. Be mindful of your social media activity.
It’s tempting to vent your feelings online, but think twice before you post. Everything on social media can be used in court, so it’s better to err on the side of caution. Consider taking a break or adjusting your privacy settings to avoid adding unnecessary complications to an already stressful situation. Remember, less is more when it comes to your online presence during a divorce.
5. Create a support network for yourself.
Divorce can feel isolating, but you don’t have to go through it alone. Surround yourself with people who will offer emotional and practical support. Friends, family, or even a therapist can help you manage your feelings and provide a sense of stability when things get tough. It’s okay to lean on people—they’ll be your rock when you need them most.
6. Start thinking about your living situation.
Source: Unsplash Decide whether you’re staying put or moving. If relocation is on the cards, start exploring your options. Having a plan in place for where you’ll live, whether it’s temporary or permanent, gives you a sense of control and security amidst the uncertainty of the divorce process. Knowing your next move can reduce anxiety and give you something concrete to focus on.
7. Take care of your physical and mental health.
Your health can easily take a back seat when you’re going through a divorce. Prioritise healthy eating, regular sleep, and some form of exercise to keep yourself grounded. Consider meditation or journaling to help manage the emotional whirlwind. It’s crucial to remember that self-care isn’t selfish—it’s what will keep you strong during this challenging time.
8. Be careful about dating during the divorce process.
Even if you feel ready to move on, jumping into the dating scene can complicate things legally. Dating during the divorce might affect custody or financial agreements, so it’s usually best to wait until everything’s finalised. Focusing on yourself rather than someone new will help you navigate this period with clarity and avoid creating extra drama.
9. Keep communication with your ex as businesslike as possible.
When you have to interact, treat it like a business transaction. Keep discussions limited to essential matters like childcare or finances, and avoid falling into old patterns of conflict. Taking a more professional approach helps minimise arguments and gives you emotional distance, making the process more manageable.
10. Start thinking about your post-divorce budget.
Your financial picture is likely going to change, so it’s smart to start planning your budget now. Factor in your income, potential alimony, and new expenses. Having a realistic budget can ease some of the anxiety about what life will look like financially after the dust settles. This planning helps you regain control and sets you up for a stable future.
11. Be honest and transparent throughout the process.
Hiding assets or being dishonest can lead to serious consequences down the line. Be upfront with your financials and other information to keep things moving smoothly. Trying to outsmart the system will only backfire, potentially dragging out the divorce and costing more in the end. Honesty will help prevent unnecessary legal headaches.
12. Consider mediation as an alternative to court.
Mediation offers a less hostile way to resolve issues, and it’s often cheaper than a court battle. It involves a neutral third party who helps you reach agreements. If you have children, mediation can also help preserve a civil co-parenting relationship. It’s worth exploring if you’re looking for a more amicable way to move forward.
13. Keep your children’s best interests at heart.
If you’ve got kids, they’re bound to feel the impact of the divorce. Make sure to keep them top of mind, shielding them from any drama between you and your ex. Open, age-appropriate communication can reassure them, letting them know they’re still loved and supported, despite the changes ahead.
14. Don’t make rash decisions about assets.
It’s tempting to just split things quickly and be done with it, but rushing the process could cost you later. Think about long-term factors like tax implications and the future value of assets before you agree to anything. A bit of patience now can prevent financial regrets down the road.
15. Focus on the future rather than dwelling on the past.
It’s easy to get bogged down in all the hurt, anger, and frustration from the marriage, but looking backwards won’t help. Instead, focus on what’s ahead and start imagining the life you want post-divorce. Making decisions with your future happiness in mind will help you move forward in a positive direction.
