Love can be confusing, especially when someone says all the right things, but their actions paint a different picture.
If your partner claims to love you, but something feels off, their behaviour might be revealing more than their words. No matter how much they claim to love and care about you, if they regularly do these things, they’re clearly full of it and you shouldn’t believe them.
1. They dismiss your feelings.
When you express sadness, frustration, or joy, they brush it off or act like your emotions are an inconvenience. Someone who truly loves you respects your feelings and seeks to understand them, even when they don’t fully agree. Dismissal shows a lack of genuine care. They might tell you that you’re overreacting or being too sensitive, making you feel invalidated.
2. They constantly break their promises.
If they repeatedly let you down — whether it’s plans, commitments, or promises to change — it signals a lack of respect and love. Genuine love means making an effort to follow through, not leaving you to feel disappointed time and again. Empty promises can make you feel like you’re not important enough for them to take seriously.
3. They prioritise everything else over you.
Work, friends, hobbies — everything seems to come before you. While balance is important, if you’re always last on their list, it shows you’re not a priority. True love means making space and time for your partner, not treating them as an afterthought. You should never feel like you’re competing for their attention.
4. They avoid talking about the future.
When you try to discuss future plans, they dodge the topic or change the subject. They might give vague answers or seem uncomfortable with any kind of commitment. Someone who truly loves you will be excited about the idea of a future together. Avoidance of future talk may suggest they’re unsure about long-term investment in the relationship.
5. They criticise you more than they uplift you.
Constructive feedback is normal, but constant criticism is not. If they frequently point out your flaws or make you feel like you’re not enough, it undermines your confidence. Love should build you up, not tear you down. That type of negativity can make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells around them.
6. They rarely show genuine interest in your life.
They don’t ask about your day, your passions, or your goals. Conversations revolve around them, and they seem bored when you talk about yourself. True love involves curiosity and a desire to understand and support your world. A lack of interest can leave you feeling unseen and undervalued.
7. They’re emotionally unavailable.
When you need comfort or connection, they pull away or seem distant. They don’t open up about their own emotions either, keeping you at arm’s length. Real love means being emotionally present and willing to share and support each other. Emotional distance can make you feel like you’re in a relationship with a stranger.
8. They gaslight you.
If they frequently deny your reality, twist the truth, or make you question your own perceptions, it’s a major red flag. Gaslighting is a form of emotional manipulation, not love. Someone who loves you will respect your perspective and won’t try to confuse or control you. This behaviour can slowly gnaw away at your confidence and self-trust.
9. They don’t make an effort to resolve conflicts.
Every couple argues, but how you handle those disagreements matters. If they refuse to apologise, dismiss your concerns, or avoid resolving issues, it shows a lack of care. Love means wanting to fix problems together, not sweeping them under the rug. Ignoring conflicts can lead to resentment and misunderstandings.
10. They don’t celebrate your successes.
When something good happens to you, they seem uninterested or even resentful. They might downplay your achievements instead of cheering you on. A loving partner takes joy in your successes and supports your accomplishments, big and small. Your wins should feel like shared victories, not threats to their ego.
11. They’re overly secretive.
While everyone deserves privacy, excessive secrecy can signal a lack of trust and honesty. If they hide things from you, avoid answering questions, or seem evasive, it suggests they don’t fully respect or value the relationship. A loving partner is open and transparent, not guarded or mysterious.
12. They make you feel lonely, even when you’re together.
Source: Unsplash Being in their company doesn’t bring warmth or connection — instead, you feel isolated or ignored. A partner who loves you will make you feel seen and valued, not alone and invisible. Emotional connection is a cornerstone of genuine love, and the absence of it can be deeply painful.
13. They belittle your dreams and goals.
Source: Unsplash When you share your ambitions, they scoff, dismiss, or ridicule them. Instead of encouraging you, they make you feel like your goals are silly or unrealistic. True love supports growth and aspirations, not stifling or belittling them. Their lack of encouragement can slowly destroy your confidence in your potential.
14. They only show affection when it benefits them.
Source: Unsplash They’re loving and attentive when they want something from you, but distant otherwise. Affection should be consistent and genuine, not transactional. Real love doesn’t come with conditions or strings attached. It’s about giving and receiving care freely, not using it as a tool for manipulation.
15. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Source: Unsplash They push, ignore, or belittle the limits you set, whether it’s personal space, time alone, or relationship expectations. Disregarding boundaries shows a lack of respect and care. A loving partner will honour and respect the boundaries you communicate. When they respect your limits, it shows they value your autonomy and well-being.
