Dealing with a child who has anger issues can be really tough.
You have no idea where these emotions have come from, and because of it, you’re not sure what you can do to stop it. While consulting a professional is your best bet for dealing with serious problems, there are things you can do as a parent to help calm your child’s anger and help them feel more regulated.
1. Create a calm-down corner.
Set up a cosy spot in your home where your child can go when they’re feeling angry. Fill it with soft cushions, calming pictures, and maybe some stress balls or fidget toys. Teach them that this is a safe place to go when they need to cool off, not a punishment zone.
2. Teach deep breathing techniques.
Show your child how to take slow, deep breaths when they’re feeling angry. You could make it fun by having them pretend to blow out birthday candles or smell a flower. Practice this when they’re calm so they can use it easily when they’re upset.
3. Use a feelings chart.
Make a chart with different emotions and faces. Help your child point to how they’re feeling. This can help them identify and express their emotions better, which often reduces angry outbursts. It’s a great way to start conversations about feelings.
4. Encourage physical activity.
When your child is feeling angry, suggest they run around the garden, do some star jumps, or dance to their favourite song. Physical activity can help burn off that angry energy in a positive way. Make it fun, not a chore.
5. Practice role-playing.
Act out scenarios that make your child angry. Let them practice responding calmly. You can take turns being the angry person and the calm one. This gives them a chance to see different perspectives and practice self-control in a safe environment.
6. Validate their feelings.
Let your child know it’s okay to feel angry. Say things like, “I understand you’re feeling angry right now, and that’s okay.” This helps them feel heard and understood. It’s the first step in helping them manage those big emotions.
7. Teach problem-solving skills.
Help your child think through what’s making them angry and brainstorm solutions. Ask questions like, “What could you do differently next time?” This empowers them to handle frustrating situations better in the future.
8. Use ‘I’ statements.
Teach your child to express their feelings using ‘I’ statements. For example, “I feel angry when…” instead of “You made me angry.” This helps them take ownership of their feelings and express them more constructively.
9. Establish clear rules and consequences.
Set clear expectations about acceptable behaviour when angry. Make sure your child understands the consequences of aggressive actions. Be consistent in enforcing these rules. This provides a sense of security and helps them learn self-control.
10. Model good anger management.
Show your child how to handle frustration calmly. When you’re angry, talk through your feelings out loud. Say things like, “I’m feeling frustrated, so I’m going to take a few deep breaths.” Children often learn more from what we do than what we say.
11. Encourage artistic expression.
Provide art supplies and encourage your child to draw or paint their feelings. This can be a great outlet for anger and helps them express emotions they might struggle to put into words. It’s also a calming activity that can help them cool down.
12. Use time-ins instead of time-outs.
Rather than sending your child away when they’re angry, sit with them. This ‘time-in’ approach helps them feel supported as they work through their emotions. It’s a chance to connect and help them calm down, rather than feeling isolated.
13. Create a bedtime routine.
A consistent, calming bedtime routine can help reduce overall stress and anger. Include activities like reading a story, listening to soft music, or talking about the best part of their day. Well-rested children often have an easier time managing their emotions.
14. Limit exposure to violent media.
Be mindful of the TV shows, video games, and YouTube videos your child watches. Exposure to violent content can increase aggressive behaviour in some children. Choose media that models positive ways of dealing with anger and frustration.
15. Again, talk to a professional.
If your child’s anger seems excessive , or you’re struggling to manage it, don’t hesitate to ask for help from a child psychologist or counsellor. They can provide strategies tailored to your child’s specific needs. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
