Setting boundaries and knowing how and when to say ‘no’ is important, but that doesn’t mean it comes easily to everyone.
A lot of times, you might be afraid to come off as rude or inconsiderate; other times, the person on the receiving end of your ‘no’ might not be able to take the hint. In either case, here’s how to turn someone down and put them in their place when ‘no’ just isn’t cutting it.
1. “I appreciate the offer, but I can’t commit to that right now.”
You’re acknowledging the other person’s request here while firmly stating your inability to take it on. You’re not leaving any room for negotiation because “right now” doesn’t have a finite end date. You’re at your max and don’t have any bandwidth for anything else, end of story.
2. “I’ll have to pass on this occasion, but please keep me in mind for future opportunities.”
If you want to keep a connection with someone open but aren’t interested in or can’t take on something they’re asking of you right now, this is a good option. It lets them know you’re open to working together in the future, but now’s not the right time.
3. “My schedule is fully booked, and I wouldn’t be able to give this the attention it deserves.”
This is a great response when you’re busy and someone wants something of you that would just take too much time and attention. By saying this, you let them know that you recognise the seriousness of what they’re asking and don’t want to give less than 100%, which is what would happen if you said ‘yes’.
4. “I’m flattered you thought of me, but I don’t think I’m the best fit for this.”
It’s nice to be well thought of, but that doesn’t mean that every opportunity is right for you. Saying this shows appreciation for the offer but makes it clear that whatever the opportunity is, it’s not right for you.
5. “I’ve got a lot on my plate at the moment, perhaps we could revisit this in [specific time frame]?”
If you’re interested in what someone is asking of you, but you’re too busy at the moment to take it on, you could try this. There’s no guarantee, of course, that the opportunity will still be available when your schedule opens up, but it’s worth a shot!
6. “I’m focusing on other priorities right now and can’t give this the attention it requires.”
Another variation of one of the previous items, this lets the asker know that you’re aware of what a big commitment they need, and you’re unable to offer it. If they want the job done well, they’ll need to go to someone else. Frankly, they should be grateful for your honesty!
7. “I don’t feel comfortable with that, but I appreciate you asking.”
Your boundaries matter, and while ‘no’ is a complete sentence, some people need a bit more explanation to understand why you’re turning them down. If something doesn’t align with your preferences, beliefs, or values, this is a good choice.
8. “That’s not something I can take on, but have you considered [alternative suggestion]?”
Hearing ‘no’ can be jarring for some people (though it really shouldn’t be) or even disappointing, and while it’s not your responsibility to give them suggestions on what to do/who to ask instead, if you’ve got some, why not go for it?
9. “I’ve made a commitment to myself not to take on new projects this [month/quarter/year].”
This is a great way of asserting your boundaries and making it clear that your decision is based on the choice that’s right for you. There are no further explanations required here — you’re looking after yourself, and everyone needs to respect that.
10. “I don’t have the bandwidth for that at the moment, but I can recommend someone who might.”
Again, another variation on the alternate suggestion item — you’re busy and don’t have time, but you know someone who might actually be grateful for the opportunity, so it’s a win-win.
11. “That’s not really my area of expertise, but I’d be happy to help with [related task you can do].”
If you want to work with the person asking, but you’re really not well-versed on the task itself, offer to help in other ways. They may not have any other opportunities available at the minute, but they can keep you in mind if something pops up.
12. “I’ve learned I need to say no to these kinds of requests to maintain a healthy work-life balance.”
This is a banger — it really asserts your dedication to your own mental health and proves that you’re self-aware enough to know your own limitations. You don’t want to spend your entire life working, so you need to prioritise the things you take on, simple as that.
13. “I wish I could help, but my current commitments prevent me from giving this my full attention.”
It softens the blow a bit when you tell someone that you’re actually sorry that you can’t help them out (even though you shouldn’t have to/it’s not your responsibility). It also shows them that you’re not just saying ‘no’ for no reason — you just don’t have space to take on anything else right now.
14. “I’ll need to decline, as I’m trying to cut back on [type of commitment] to focus on [personal goal].”
Source: Unsplash There’s more to life than work, and if you have other goals you’re working on, whether it’s learning a new language, practising a new form or art, or even working on your fitness, it’s okay to say ‘no’ to great opportunities so you can put more attention on the things that bring you joy. That’s perfectly valid!
15. “Thank you for thinking of me, but I’m not in a position to take that on right now.”
Source: Unsplash This all-purpose response works in a variety of situations. It starts with gratitude by acknowledging the person’s consideration, before firmly but politely declining. What more can they say to that?
