Comfort in a relationship is a good thing—until it starts tipping into complacency.
A little ease is lovely, but when your partner gets too comfortable, certain habits creep in that can leave things feeling flat, lazy, or just a bit off. As a result, the joy and romance quickly get snuffed out, and in their place comes annoyance and maybe even a desire to leave the relationship. Here are a few signs that your partner might be coasting a little too much, and the spark could use a bit of a nudge.
1. Date nights have quietly disappeared.
What used to be regular dinners out or cute at-home movie nights has turned into falling asleep on the sofa in yesterday’s clothes. The effort to plan or even suggest something special has faded. Comfort doesn’t mean every night needs candles and playlists, but if you’re the only one pushing for quality time, it might be a sign they’ve stopped seeing the value in keeping things fun and fresh.
2. They’ve stopped dressing up around you entirely.
Sweats and messy hair are fine (and honestly part of being close), but if they no longer bother to look nice ever, especially when they used to, it’s worth noting. There’s a difference between relaxed and indifferent. It’s not about vanity, but about showing up. A bit of effort in how they present themselves can signal they still care about impressing you, even after all this time.
3. Compliments are few and far between.
Remember when they used to tell you that you looked amazing just because? Now it’s radio silence. You can go weeks without hearing anything sweet or flirtatious unless you fish for it. When someone gets too used to you, they sometimes forget to express what they still feel. However, a lack of compliments can start to feel like a lack of appreciation, even if that’s not the intention.
4. They’ve stopped making an effort with your friends or family.
They used to charm your mum, chat with your best mate, or at least show up at group events. Lately? They’re either avoiding them altogether or barely saying much when they do show face. This one can sting because it means that they’re no longer investing in the broader world that comes with you. Staying engaged with your people shows continued care; tuning out completely might say otherwise.
5. Little gestures have vanished.
The random texts, the surprise snacks, the notes left on your pillow—they’ve all disappeared. You’re not expecting grand displays, but even the small stuff has stopped happening. It’s often the tiny things that keep a relationship feeling warm and alive. When those fall off, it’s usually because someone’s settled into autopilot mode without realising it.
6. They’re less affectionate without really noticing.
The spontaneous cuddles, cheek kisses, or playful touches are way less frequent than they used to be. Physical affection has become more functional than meaningful. That often happens when comfort crosses into laziness. If affection starts feeling more like a checkbox than a connection, it’s time to check in with what’s changed.
7. Every conversation revolves around routine or logistics.
From “Did you take the bin out?” to “What’s for dinner?” every chat feels like an agenda item. There’s little depth, curiosity, or just plain old fun in your conversations anymore. It’s natural for routines to take over now and then, but when small talk is all talk, it can feel like you’re housemates running errands instead of partners sharing a life.
8. They rarely initiate plans or check in emotionally.
If you don’t organise things, nothing happens. They’re content staying home, doing the same thing, or leaving everything up to you. Even emotional check-ins are now mostly one-sided. Comfort should mean ease, not passivity. If they’ve stopped trying to be present or intentional with your connection, they might have slipped into cruise control a little too hard.
9. They don’t bother resolving small issues anymore.
Arguments that used to lead to healthy conversations now end in dismissiveness or silence. Instead of working things out, they just shrug it off or act like it’s not worth the energy. That kind of emotional laziness usually means they’re either tuning out or assuming you’ll just move past it. Neither is great if you’re trying to keep things strong and connected.
10. They assume you’re fine without asking.
They’ve stopped checking in on your mood, your day, or your stress levels. It’s not that they don’t care—but they’ve started assuming you’re always okay without taking the time to ask. This one often flies under the radar, but it can build distance. Even in long-term relationships, those little “how are you really?” moments still matter.
11. You’ve stopped hearing “thank you” for the everyday stuff.
You do things around the house, pick up extra responsibilities, or support them on tough days—and it goes unnoticed. The gratitude that used to come naturally has started slipping away. When appreciation fades, resentment tends to quietly creep in. A simple “thanks” can go a long way in showing your efforts are still seen and valued.
12. They put more effort into other people than they do with you.
They’ll dress up for work drinks, be super chatty with colleagues, or plan nights out with friends—but when it’s time to hang out with you, it’s all half-hearted and last-minute. It’s hard not to notice the contrast. When the energy they once gave you starts going elsewhere, it can make you feel like you’re no longer a priority in the same way.
13. They’ve stopped being curious about you.
They don’t ask how your project’s going, what you’re into lately, or how you’re feeling about that thing you mentioned last week. The attention to detail has faded. Curiosity is a quiet form of affection. When someone stops showing it, it can make you feel like you’re growing alone, even if you’re still technically “together.”
14. They expect things without contributing equally.
They’re happy to let you cook, clean, plan, and support—but don’t always offer the same in return. It’s not about keeping score, but you’ve noticed an imbalance that wasn’t there before. That kind of comfort crosses into entitlement if left unchecked. Relationships work best when both people still show up, even in the small, daily ways.
15. They rarely express that they’re happy to be with you.
That soft reassurance—“I love being with you,” “I’m lucky to have you”—has faded into silence. Maybe they assume you already know, or maybe they’ve just stopped thinking to say it. Either way, it matters. Feeling wanted and appreciated isn’t something that should disappear with time. Even if the love’s still there, it needs a little airtime now and then.
