You’ve probably put your foot in your mouth and made a conversation awkward at some point in your life.
Sometimes, your intentions are good, but your words or actions miss the mark. Here are a few ways you might be unintentionally insulting people around you, and some tips on how to course-correct.
1. You give a lot of unsolicited advice.
Source: Pexels We all want to help our friends and loved ones, but sometimes our well-meaning advice can come across as judgmental or condescending. Before you offer your two cents, consider whether the person actually asked for your opinion. If not, it might be best to keep it to yourself. Unsolicited advice can make people feel like you’re doubting their abilities or choices, even if that’s not your intention.
2. You make jokes at other people’s expense.
Humour can be a great way to bond with people, but when your jokes consistently target a specific person or group, it can be hurtful and alienating. Even if you think you’re being playful, making fun of someone’s appearance, personality, or beliefs can damage their self-esteem and create a hostile environment. Stick to jokes that everyone can laugh at, or find a different outlet for your sense of humour.
3. You interrupt people mid-sentence.
Interrupting someone is a quick way to show them that you don’t value what they have to say. It can be frustrating and disrespectful, making the person feel unheard and unimportant. Before you jump in with your own thoughts, take a breath and let them finish their sentence. Active listening is a valuable skill that can improve your communication and relationships.
4. You constantly compare people to others (and not really in a nice way).
Source: Unsplash We all have our own unique strengths and weaknesses, and comparing ourselves to other people is a natural human tendency. However, when you constantly compare your friends, family, or colleagues to other people, it can be incredibly demoralising. It sends the message that you don’t appreciate them for who they are and that they need to measure up to someone else’s standards.
5. You dismiss people’s feelings.
Source: Unsplash When someone shares their feelings with you, it’s important to validate their emotions, even if you don’t fully understand them. Dismissing their feelings by saying things like “Don’t be so sensitive” or “You’re overreacting” can be incredibly invalidating. It makes them feel like their emotions aren’t valid or important, which can damage your relationship in big ways.
6. You make assumptions about people based on stereotypes.
Source: Unsplash Stereotypes are harmful generalisations that can lead to prejudice and discrimination. When you make assumptions about someone based on their race, gender, sexual orientation, or any other characteristic, you’re reducing them to a single aspect of their identity. This can be incredibly insulting and dehumanising, as it ignores their individuality and unique experiences.
7. You give backhanded compliments.
Source: Unsplash A backhanded compliment is a seemingly positive remark that contains an insult or criticism. For example, you might say “You look great for your age” or “That’s a surprisingly good idea coming from you.” These types of compliments can be confusing and hurtful, as they leave the recipient unsure of whether you genuinely mean well.
8. You’re always the centre of attention.
Source: Unsplash Everyone enjoys being the life of the party occasionally, but if you’re constantly hogging the spotlight, it can be exhausting for those around you. When you dominate conversations, interrupt everyone, and make everything about yourself, it sends the message that you don’t care about anyone else’s experiences or opinions. Try to be more mindful of your presence and give other people a chance to shine.
9. You offer solutions before listening to the problem.
Source: Unsplash When someone comes to you with a problem, they might not be looking for a solution right away. Sometimes, people just need to vent and feel heard. Jumping in with advice before they’ve finished explaining the situation can make them feel like you’re not really listening or that you don’t care about their feelings. Try to practice active listening, ask clarifying questions, and offer support before suggesting solutions.
10. You talk over people or finish their sentences.
Source: Unsplash Finishing someone else’s sentence might seem like a harmless way to show you’re on the same wavelength, but it can actually be quite rude. It implies that you know what they’re going to say better than they do, and it can make them feel like their thoughts and opinions aren’t valued. Give people the space to express themselves fully, and resist the urge to jump in and complete their thoughts.
11. You make jokes about sensitive topics.
Source: Unsplash Humour is a great way to connect with people, but it’s important to be mindful of the context. Joking about sensitive topics like mental health, trauma, or personal struggles can be hurtful and insensitive. Even if you don’t mean any harm, your words can trigger painful memories or emotions in other people. When in doubt, err on the side of caution and choose a different topic for your jokes.
12. You brag about your accomplishments.
Source: Unsplash It’s natural to feel proud of your achievements, but constantly boasting about them can be off-putting. When you make every conversation about your own successes, it can make people feel inadequate or unimportant. Instead of focusing on yourself, try to show genuine interest in other people’s lives and accomplishments. Celebrate their wins alongside your own.
13. You give unsolicited feedback.
Source: Unsplash Feedback can be valuable when it’s requested or given constructively. However, offering unsolicited feedback can be perceived as criticism, even if you have good intentions. It can make people feel defensive and put them on the spot. Before offering feedback, ask yourself if it’s helpful, necessary, and kind. If not, it might be best to keep your thoughts to yourself.
14. You’re always late.
Source: Unsplash Being consistently late can be disrespectful and frustrating for those who are waiting for you. It sends the message that you don’t value their time or that your schedule is more important than theirs. If you’re struggling with punctuality, try to identify the root cause of your lateness and develop strategies to manage your time more effectively. Setting reminders, planning ahead, and allowing extra time for unexpected delays can all help you arrive on time.
15. You ignore people’s boundaries.
Source: Unsplash Everyone has different boundaries and comfort levels. It’s important to respect those boundaries, even if you don’t fully understand them. For example, if someone tells you they’re not comfortable with physical touch, don’t force them into a hug. If someone asks for space, give it to them. Ignoring people’s boundaries is disrespectful and can damage your relationship with them.
