There’s nothing worse than someone who can’t help but make everyone else feel like they’re not living up to some imaginary standard.
They’ve got a way of dropping little comments that make you roll your eyes into another dimension. They’re on a constant high horse, acting as if they’re morally superior to anyone and everyone around them. Here are the phrases that give them away.
1. “I don’t even own a TV.”
They’ll slip this into conversations completely unprompted. It’s never just a simple statement — it comes with a side serving of superiority about how they spend their evenings reading philosophy books instead. They love explaining how they’re “too busy growing” to watch shows. The best part is they still somehow know every detail about popular shows through “cultural osmosis.”
2. “I’m just really conscious about what I put in my body.”
This comes right after you mention grabbing lunch somewhere. They’ll launch into their essay about processed foods while eyeing your sandwich like it’s radioactive. They make sure everyone knows they haven’t eaten sugar since 2019. Their food choices somehow always become the main topic at any meal gathering.
3. “I prefer to work with my hands.”
They say this while looking down at your office job like you’re personally destroying society. Every weekend project becomes a sermon about the value of manual labour. They’ll remind you constantly about their latest woodworking project or homemade kombucha. Their DIY attempts suddenly make them experts on craftsmanship.
4. “I don’t celebrate commercial holidays.”
Here comes the lecture about consumerism, right when you mention buying Christmas presents. They act like buying a birthday card makes you a slave to capitalism. Every holiday becomes their chance to remind everyone about the “true meaning” of celebration. They still expect to be included in all holiday gatherings, though.
5. “My kids aren’t allowed screen time.”
They announce this while giving judgy looks to parents whose kids have tablets. Their children apparently spend their days making educational crafts from recycled materials. They’ll tell you about their strict schedule of enrichment activities nobody asked about. Screen-free parenting becomes their entire personality.
6. “I deleted all my social media.”
They mention this at least twice per conversation, ironically seeking the attention they claim to avoid. They explain how they’re “actually present” in life now, unlike everyone else. Their friends still have to hear about their social media cleanse years later. They conveniently forget about their active LinkedIn profile.
7. “I only read non-fiction.”
This gem drops whenever someone mentions enjoying a novel. They’ll explain how they’re too focused on “personal development” for fiction. Every conversation somehow leads to whatever self-help book they’re reading. They treat reading preferences like a measure of intelligence.
8. “I’m actually a morning person now.”
Get ready for their speech about their 5 AM routine and cold showers. They talk about their morning meditation like they’ve unlocked the secrets of the universe. Everyone has to hear about their productivity system in excruciating detail. They judge anyone who sleeps past 7 AM on weekends.
9. “I don’t drink coffee anymore.”
Suddenly, they’re experts on adrenal fatigue and sleep cycles. They preach about their herbal tea alternatives like they’re sharing sacred knowledge. Every yawn from someone else becomes an opening for their caffeine-free lifestyle talk. They still hang out at coffee shops though, ordering their complicated caffeine-free substitutes.
10. “I haven’t bought new clothes in years.”
The sustainable fashion lecture starts without invitation. They examine everyone’s outfit labels while talking about fast fashion crimes. Their thrifted outfits somehow always come up in conversation. They forget to mention their expensive “investment pieces.”
11. “I don’t really do small talk.”
They say this while making everyone uncomfortable with forced deep conversations. Every casual chat becomes their opportunity to discuss philosophy or politics. They pride themselves on being “authentic” while making other people uncomfortable. Social gatherings become their personal TED talk stage.
12. “I’ve been doing intermittent fasting.”
Watch them turn every meal into a lecture about eating windows. They time everyone else’s meals like they’re running a study. Their fasting schedule becomes everyone else’s problem somehow. They love explaining how ancient humans actually ate.
13. “My home is completely minimalist.”
They judge everyone’s “clutter” while bragging about their empty spaces. Every house visit becomes a tour of their bare rooms and stark walls. They preach about material attachments while showing off their expensive minimal decor. Their minimalism somehow costs more than your regular stuff.
14. “I don’t really watch the news.”
They’re somehow above current events while still having opinions about everything. They lecture about media manipulation while getting info from questionable sources. Their ignorance becomes a badge of honour they love showing off. They still know every controversy but claim it came through “word of mouth.”
15. “I make everything from scratch.”
Store-bought anything becomes their chance to shame other people’s choices. They have to tell everyone about their sourdough starter’s age. Every meal comes with a history lesson about traditional preparation methods. They conveniently forget about their secret takeaway habits.
16. “I don’t use a microwave.”
They act like owning a microwave is a moral failing. Their kitchen habits somehow indicate superior life choices. They love explaining how they heat everything “naturally.” The extra hour they spend reheating leftovers becomes a point of pride.
