When you’re in a relationship, it’s natural to expect your partner to be proud to be with you.
Unfortunately, they might be acting in ways that send the opposite message, and it’s really upsetting. If you’ve ever wondered whether your partner is secretly cringing behind your back, confirming your suspicions is pretty easy if you know what to look for. Of course, you shouldn’t be ashamed — a lot of times, it’s more about their insecurities than it is about anything you’ve done. Either way, you deserve better — they need to address it, or you need to move on.
1. They avoid introducing you to their friends.
If you’ve been dating for a while but still haven’t met their mates, it’s a red flag. They might be worried about how you’ll “fit in” or what their friends will think. Spoiler: their friends probably won’t care as much as they think they will.
2. Family gatherings are off-limits.
If their parents think they’re still single while you’ve been together for months (or years), it’s worth questioning why. While meeting the family can be daunting, keeping you a secret is a sign they’re not fully embracing the relationship. Family dinners shouldn’t feel like covert ops.
3. They’re vague about your relationship status.
“Oh, we’re just… hanging out.” If this is how they describe your relationship, it’s a clear sign they’re avoiding commitment labels. If they’re downplaying things to other people, it might be because they’re unsure how you’ll be received—or they’re not fully invested.
4. Social media silence.
Not everyone loves posting their personal life online, but if their Instagram is a shrine to brunch photos and gym selfies, yet you’re mysteriously absent, it raises questions. Are they keeping you hidden for privacy—or because they don’t want people to know?
5. They cringe at your sense of humour.
Love is about embracing each other’s quirks, but if your partner rolls their eyes every time you crack a joke, it’s a bad look for them. Your pun-filled humour might not be everyone’s cup of tea, but if they’re embarrassed instead of laughing along, it’s a bit telling.
6. They act distant in public.
If they’re happy holding your hand at home but won’t so much as make eye contact in public, it might be because they’re worried about who’s watching. PDA isn’t for everyone, but there’s a difference between being reserved and acting like you’re their colleague instead of their partner.
7. They’re overly critical of your style.
“Are you really wearing that?” might sound innocent, but if it’s a recurring theme, it could be a sign they’re worried about how your look reflects on them. Fashion is personal—if they’re hung up on what you wear, the problem is theirs, not yours.
8. They avoid “couple-y” activities.
Whether it’s skipping Valentine’s Day plans or avoiding weddings where they might have to dance with you, their reluctance to engage in classic couple moments can feel off. It’s okay to not be lovey-dovey 24/7, but avoiding it entirely? A bit strange.
9. They dodge deep conversations.
When you try to talk about the future or anything serious, they change the subject faster than you can say, “Where is this going?” If they’re avoiding these chats, it could be because they’re not sure they see you as part of their long-term plans—or they’re afraid of being honest.
10. They downplay your achievements.
Instead of celebrating your wins, they brush them off or change the subject. A partner who’s proud of you will cheer you on, not act like your accomplishments are no big deal. You deserve someone who hypes you up, not brings you down.
11. They avoid being seen in “uncool” places with you.
If they veto dinner at your favourite quirky diner because it’s “not trendy enough,” their priorities might be in the wrong place. A great partner focuses on the experience, not the optics. If they’re too concerned with what other people think, it’s time to question their motives.
12. They introduce you with vague titles.
“This is my… friend.” Ouch. If they’re hesitant to call you their partner or outright dodge labels, it might be a sign they’re not ready to fully own the relationship. A good partner introduces you with pride, not hesitation.
13. They constantly apologise for your behaviour.
If they’re always saying, “Sorry, they’re just like that,” it’s a sign they’re overly concerned about how other people see you. A healthy relationship is about accepting each other’s quirks, not apologising for them. If they can’t handle your personality, that’s on them.
14. They avoid talking about the future.
When conversations about long-term plans come up, they dodge them like a hot potato. A partner who’s ashamed—or unsure—about the relationship often avoids discussing things like living together, travelling, or future goals. It’s hard to build something solid when they’re always changing the subject.
15. They act differently around certain people.
If they’re warm and affectionate when it’s just the two of you, but cold and aloof around their friends or coworkers, it’s a clear sign something’s off. Your relationship shouldn’t feel like a secret that’s only safe behind closed doors.
16. They won’t let you meet their ex.
While no one’s thrilled about introducing their partner to an ex, actively avoiding the possibility feels a bit suspicious. It could mean they’re worried about comparisons—or that their ex knows something they don’t want you to find out. Either way, transparency is key.
