Gaslighting — when someone tries to manipulate you into feeling crazy — is frustrating, confusing, and emotionally draining.
But you don’t have to take it silently. When you realise what a toxic person is up to, you can stop them from going any further and make it clear that you’re not going to put up with it. Here’s how to shut them down and reclaim your power with just a few simple words.
1. “I know what I saw, and I trust my memory.”
Source: Unsplash A gaslighter loves to make you doubt the way you know things went down. So, this response calmly asserts your confidence in your memory without getting defensive. You’re standing your ground and letting them know their version isn’t going to shake you. Trusting yourself is the first step in protecting your reality from manipulation.
2. “We remember it differently, and that’s okay.”
This phrase is powerful because it acknowledges their point of view while holding on to your own. It diffuses their attempt to manipulate you and makes it clear that you’re not abandoning your version of reality. You’re establishing that differing perspectives don’t automatically invalidate your experience.
3. “I’m not going to argue about this.”
Sometimes, the best response is to shut the conversation down. Gaslighters thrive on twisting your words in endless debates. Refusing to engage keeps you in control and protects your mental energy. Knowing when to disengage is a healthy way to preserve your emotional well-being.
4. “That’s your opinion, and I have mine.”
By stating this, you acknowledge their perspective while making it clear that you’re not accepting it as fact. It’s a subtle way to say, “I hear you, but I don’t agree with you.” Standing by your own opinion reinforces your sense of autonomy and confidence.
5. “I don’t appreciate being spoken to that way.”
Gaslighting often involves condescending or manipulative language. Calling it out directly sets a boundary. It lets them know you won’t tolerate disrespect, and it forces them to reconsider their approach. Boundaries are essential for maintaining healthy communication and self-respect.
6. “Let’s focus on what we’re actually talking about.”
Gaslighters love to derail conversations or bring up unrelated issues. This response brings the discussion back on track, making it harder for them to confuse or distract you. Staying focused helps you avoid falling into their trap of endless deflection.
7. “I don’t need to justify myself to you.”
Gaslighters often demand explanations to make you feel defensive. This phrase shuts that tactic down quickly. It reminds them (and you) that your reality and feelings don’t need their approval or validation. You are entitled to your thoughts and actions without needing to constantly defend them.
8. “I hear what you’re saying, but I feel differently.”
This phrase calmly asserts your feelings and experience without invalidating theirs. It’s a balanced way to stand up for yourself while avoiding escalation. Acknowledging your feelings helps you stay true to your experience, regardless of their reaction.
9. “Let’s take a break and revisit this later.”
If the conversation is going in circles, stepping away can stop a gaslighter from wearing you down. It gives you time to clear your mind and regain perspective. Taking a pause ensures you don’t react emotionally and gives you control over the timing of the discussion.
10. “I know who I am, and I’m confident in my decisions.”
Gaslighters love to make you question yourself. This confident statement shows you’re sure of yourself and your choices. It cuts off their attempt to chip away at your self-esteem and reinforces your strength. Trusting your decisions makes it harder for people to manipulate you.
11. “That doesn’t match up with what I know to be true.”
When a gaslighter tries to distort reality, this response politely but firmly rejects their version of events. It shows you’re paying attention and won’t be easily swayed, without being overly confrontational. You’re asserting your reality in a calm, measured way.
12. “I’m allowed to feel this way.”
Gaslighters often dismiss your feelings as irrational or over-the-top. This simple response defends your right to your emotions. No one can dictate how you feel, and stating this reminds them of that boundary. Validating your own feelings helps you stay grounded in your truth.
13. “We can agree to disagree.”
This phrase ends the argument on your terms. It stops the gaslighter from continuing their attempts to wear you down. You’re acknowledging the disagreement without giving up your own stance. It’s a firm yet peaceful way to maintain your position.
14. “I’m not interested in being manipulated.”
Sometimes, it’s best to call out the behaviour directly. Naming what’s happening puts the gaslighter on notice. It lets them know you see through their tactics and won’t play their game. Being direct about manipulation helps you stand firm and confident.
15. “I need some space to process this.”
Gaslighters try to overwhelm you in the moment. Asking for space to think allows you to step back, regroup, and come back stronger. It also stops them from cornering you into a reaction you don’t want to give. Creating this distance helps you stay in control of your responses.
16. “No.”
Sometimes, the simplest response is the most powerful. A firm, unapologetic “no” sets a clear boundary. It leaves no room for manipulation and shows that you won’t be pushed around or coerced. A clear “no” reinforces your right to say what works for you without explanation.
