Loneliness is an emotion pretty much everyone experiences at some point, but that doesn’t make it pleasant.
While you can’t prevent it entirely, there are some things you can do to become immune to the worst effects of loneliness that might completely overwhelm you otherwise. Try some of these things — you might start to feel more fulfilled and connected to the world around you.
1. Treat yourself like your own best friend.
Ever noticed how you’re way nicer to your friends than you are to yourself? Time to change that. Start talking to yourself like you would to your best mate. Had a rough day? Instead of beating yourself up, try saying, “Hey, you’re doing alright. Tomorrow’s another day.” It might feel a bit daft at first, but stick with it. When you’re your own cheerleader, you’ve always got someone in your corner. Plus, you’ll start to enjoy your own company more, which is a great way to kick loneliness to the kerb.
2. Get comfy with your own thoughts.
Our brains can be noisy places, especially when we’re alone. Instead of trying to drown out your thoughts with constant distractions, try sitting with them for a bit. You don’t need to go full-on meditation guru — just start with five minutes of quiet time each day. Let your thoughts wander and see where they take you. You might stumble upon some brilliant ideas or work through some stuff that’s been bugging you. The more you practise this, the less scary alone time becomes. Who knows, you might even start to crave it.
3. Become your own personal project.
You know how some people are always working on their cars or doing up their houses? Well, why not make yourself your next big project? Set yourself some goals — maybe you want to learn a new language, get fit, or master the art of making the perfect latte. Whatever it is, throw yourself into it. Not only will it keep you busy, but you’ll also feel pretty pleased with yourself as you see progress. Plus, it gives you something interesting to chat about when you do hang out with people.
4. Reframe alone time as freedom.
Instead of seeing alone time as a negative, try flipping the script. When you’re on your own, you’ve got total freedom to do whatever you fancy. Want to have ice cream for dinner while watching your guilty pleasure TV show? Go for it. Want to dance around your living room in your pants? Nobody’s stopping you. By focusing on the perks of solitude, you’ll start to see it as a treat rather than a chore. It’s all about perspective!
5. Create a ‘loneliness emergency kit’.
We all have those moments when loneliness hits hard. Be prepared by creating your own ‘loneliness emergency kit’. Fill a box with things that make you feel good — your favourite book, a cosy blanket, some fancy chocolate, a playlist of upbeat tunes. When you’re feeling low, dive into your kit. It’s like giving yourself a big hug. The act of preparing this kit is also a way of showing yourself some love, reminding you that you’ve got your own back.
6. Practise random acts of kindness.
Sounds cheesy, right? But hear me out. Doing nice things for other people, even small stuff, can give you a huge mood boost. It could be as simple as letting someone go ahead of you in the queue or leaving a nice comment on a friend’s social media post. These little acts create a sense of connection and remind you that you’re part of a bigger community. Plus, kindness tends to come back around, so you’re basically sending out good vibes and setting yourself up for some in return.
7. Become a regular somewhere.
Source: Unsplash Ever watched Cheers? There’s something nice about going where everybody knows your name. Pick a local cafe, pub, or shop and make it your spot. Go there regularly, chat with the staff, maybe strike up conversations with other regulars. Over time, you’ll build a sense of belonging. You don’t need to become best friends with everyone, but just having familiar faces around can make you feel less alone in the world.
8. Adopt a ‘curiosity’ mindset.
Source: Unsplash When you’re feeling lonely, it’s easy to get stuck in your own head. Try shifting your focus outward by adopting a curiosity mindset. Look at the world around you with fresh eyes. Why is that building designed that way? What’s the story behind that random statue in the park? By engaging with your surroundings, you’ll feel more connected to the world at large. Plus, it gives you plenty to think about, so your mind is less likely to dwell on feelings of loneliness.
9. Create a comfort character.
Source: Unsplash This might sound a bit bonkers, but stick with me. Create an imaginary character who’s always there for you. It could be a wise old owl, a cheeky monkey, or even a talking teapot if that’s your thing. When you’re feeling lonely, have a chat with your character. What would they say to cheer you up? What advice would they give? It’s a way of tapping into your own wisdom and giving yourself comfort. Just maybe don’t introduce your new pal to your real-life friends — they might think you’ve gone a bit loopy.
10. Master the art of self-dating.
Who says you need someone else to have a great night out? Take yourself on dates. Go to that fancy restaurant you’ve been eyeing up, catch a film at the cinema, or hit up a museum. At first, it might feel a bit awkward, but push through it. You’ll soon realise that doing things alone can be liberating. You get to do exactly what you want, when you want, without having to compromise. Plus, you might find you’re pretty good company after all.
11. Embrace your inner child.
Remember when you were a kid and could entertain yourself for hours with a cardboard box? Channel that energy. Let yourself be silly and playful. Build a pillow fort, colour in a colouring book, have a dance party in your kitchen. When you tap into that childlike wonder, you’ll find joy in the simplest things. And when you’re having fun, loneliness tends to take a back seat.
12. Create your own rituals.
Source: Unsplash Rituals give us a sense of structure and meaning. Create some for yourself that celebrate your solo status. Maybe it’s a special Sunday morning routine with fancy coffee and your favourite tunes, or a Friday night film fest with all your top snacks. These rituals give you something to look forward to and help you appreciate your alone time rather than dreading it.
13. Become your own pen pal.
Source: Unsplash Here’s a quirky one: write letters to your future self. Pour out your thoughts, dreams, and worries onto paper. Seal them up and open them in a few months or even years. It’s a way of connecting with different versions of yourself and seeing how far you’ve come. Plus, it’s always nice to get mail, even if it’s from past you. Who knows, you might even give yourself some great advice.
14. Practise ‘social fitness’.
Source: Unsplash Think of social skills like muscles — they need regular exercise to stay in shape. Even when you’re not feeling particularly lonely, make an effort to reach out to other people. Send a text to an old friend, chat with your neighbour, or strike up a conversation with the person behind you in the queue. These small interactions keep your social skills sharp and remind you that connections are all around you.
15. Create a ‘loneliness jar’.
Get yourself a jar and some small bits of paper. Whenever you have a positive experience or thought while alone, jot it down and pop it in the jar. Had a brilliant idea in the shower? In it goes. Nailed that recipe you’ve been struggling with? Write it down. When loneliness strikes, open the jar and read through your notes. It’s a tangible reminder of all the good things about being on your own. Plus, the act of actively looking for positive solo experiences can shift your mindset over time.
16. Become your own biggest fan.
Finally, be your own cheerleader. Celebrate your wins, no matter how small. Managed to fix that wobbly table? Give yourself a round of applause. Finally got around to doing your laundry? You’re smashing it! By acknowledging your achievements, you’re creating a positive relationship with yourself. And when you’re your own biggest fan, you’ve always got someone rooting for you. It might feel a bit daft at first, but stick with it. Before you know it, you’ll be giving yourself standing ovations for making it through the day.
