Gaslighting is all about making you think you’re crazy and blaming you for the other person’s behaviour.
The issue is that once you learn the warning signs that this is happening, it stops being effective. However, when you call out a gaslighter, their first instinct is to play innocent and insist you’ve got it all wrong. If you’ve ever heard these laughable phrases, you’re not alone. While they’ll never own up to their toxic behaviour, they’ll at least realise it no longer works on you.
1. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
You’re supposed to think your memory is faulty here and that you’re imagining things. They pretend to be clueless, turning the situation back on you and making you feel like you’re imagining things. It’s frustrating because they avoid any responsibility for their actions, leaving you questioning everything that just happened. But don’t fall for it. They know exactly what you’re talking about, they just don’t want to face it.
2. “You’re making a big deal out of nothing.”
This is a way for them to trivialise your feelings and make you feel like you’re overreacting. When you’re sharing something important to you, they’ll dismiss it like it doesn’t matter. It’s a tactic to make you feel embarrassed for bringing it up and to avoid dealing with the issue. Instead, they should be listening and respecting your emotions, not belittling them.
3. “I was just joking!”
When you call them out on their hurtful comments, they’ll immediately backpedal and say they were just joking. It’s their way of trying to make you feel like you’re being too sensitive or that you can’t take a joke. The reality is, their words were intentionally hurtful, but they’ll try to make you second-guess yourself instead of taking responsibility for their behaviour.
4. “Why are you always so negative?”
If they can turn the conversation around to make you the problem, they’ll do it. This is a classic deflection move to get away from the real issue. They’ll say you’re being negative when all you’re doing is pointing out something that isn’t right. It’s a sneaky way of shifting focus away from their actions and making you question whether you’re overreacting.
5. “You’re too sensitive.”
This one’s all about invalidating your feelings. By calling you “too sensitive,” they suggest that you’re the one with the problem, not their behaviour. It’s a way for them to make you feel like you’re wrong for having emotions or for reacting to something that hurt you. The truth is, your feelings are valid, and they should be the one addressing their actions, not accusing you of being overly emotional.
6. “I didn’t say that.”
If they say something hurtful, and you remind them of it, they’ll flat-out deny it. They want to make you second-guess your memory and feel confused. It’s a way to avoid any accountability, making you question your own recollection of events. You heard what you heard, and it’s not your fault if they can’t own up to what they said.
7. “You’re just imagining things.”
This is another attempt to dismiss your concerns by making you feel like you’re the one creating problems out of thin air. By saying you’re “imagining things,” they try to invalidate your reality and make you feel like you’re overreacting. It’s an easy way for them to avoid dealing with what’s actually going on.
8. “I can’t believe you’d think that of me.”
This is a guilt-trip tactic where they act shocked or hurt that you would question them. It puts the blame on you for even thinking they might do something wrong, making you feel bad for confronting them. It’s an emotional manipulation move to make you feel like you’re in the wrong for not trusting them.
9. “Everyone else thinks I’m a good person.”
By dragging in other people’s so-called opinions (which may not even be true), they’re trying to make you feel isolated and question your own judgement. They use other people’s opinions to discredit your experience and make you feel like the problem lies with you, not with them. It’s a way of gaslighting you into feeling like you must be the one who’s wrong if everyone else thinks they’re fine.
10. “You’re overthinking it.”
If you’re raising concerns, this is their way of brushing you off and making you feel like you’re creating problems that don’t exist. It puts the blame on you for thinking too much, instead of acknowledging the actual issue. They’re deflecting the conversation and making you feel like your concerns are unfounded.
11. “You’re remembering it wrong.”
Here, they’ll insist that your memory of events is faulty, even if you’re sure about what happened. This is meant to make you question your perception and doubt your version of events. They’re trying to rewrite history to make themselves look better, and you feel confused.
12. “I’d never do that!”
When they’re confronted with their behaviour, they’ll vehemently deny it, claiming they’d never act that way. It’s a direct attempt to protect their image and make you feel guilty for accusing them, even if you’ve witnessed their behaviour. It’s a tactic to deflect responsibility and make you feel like you’re wrong for bringing it up.
13. “You’re twisting my words.”
This is their way of shifting blame onto you when they’ve been caught saying something hurtful. Instead of owning up to it, they accuse you of misinterpreting them. It makes you feel like the problem is your understanding of the situation, not their words or intentions.
14. “I’m only trying to help you.”
If you call them out on their behaviour, they’ll claim they were only trying to help. They’ll position themselves as the “good guy” and make you feel guilty for pushing back. It’s a way to disguise manipulative behaviour as genuine concern, turning the situation into one where you feel bad for questioning them.
15. “You always think the worst of me.”
This is a classic deflection tactic where they make you feel like you’re being unfair or paranoid. By framing your concerns as a lack of trust, they’re trying to avoid accountability for their actions. They want to turn the situation around so that you’re the one who looks bad for bringing up the issue.
16. “I don’t know why you’re making this up.”
This is an outright attack on your credibility. They accuse you of fabricating the problem in order to dismiss the issue completely. It’s one of the most manipulative tactics, aimed at making you question your own reality and feel like you’re being unreasonable or dramatic.
