Self-care is important, but there’s a fine line between prioritising your own needs and being a bit too self-centred.
Sometimes, you can fall into habits that unintentionally put your needs and desires above everyone else’s. If you’re doing any of these things, you might need to chill out a bit and start considering other people sometimes.
1. Your conversations always circle back to you.
We all love to share stories and experiences, but if you notice that your conversations always seem to revolve around you, it might be a sign that you’re not giving people enough space to share their own thoughts and feelings. Try to ask open-ended questions, actually listen to what people have to say, and avoid interrupting or changing the subject back to yourself. Remember, conversations are a two-way street.
2. You rarely offer help unless it benefits you.
Helping people is a fundamental part of building strong relationships and creating a sense of community. If you find yourself only offering assistance when it directly benefits you, it might be a sign that your motivations are a bit too self-serving. Try to offer help without expecting anything in return, and be willing to lend a hand even if it’s not convenient for you. A little bit of generosity goes a long way.
3. You get defensive when someone offers constructive criticism.
Constructive criticism can be a valuable tool for personal growth, but it can also be hard to hear. If you tend to get defensive or dismissive when someone offers feedback, it might be a sign that you’re overly focused on protecting your ego. Try to be open to hearing different perspectives, even if they’re not what you want to hear. Remember, feedback can help you identify areas where you can improve and become a better version of yourself.
4. You rarely apologise for your mistakes.
Everyone makes mistakes, but owning up to them is a sign of maturity and humility. If you find it difficult to apologise, even when you know you’re wrong, it might be a sign that you’re too focused on being right. Apologising doesn’t mean you’re weak; it means you’re willing to take responsibility for your actions and make amends. A sincere apology can go a long way in mending relationships and building trust.
5. You’re always trying to outdo everyone.
Friendly competition can be fun and motivating, but when you’re constantly trying to one-up people, it can be exhausting for everyone involved. If you find yourself always trying to prove that you’re better, smarter, or more successful than your friends or colleagues, it might be a sign that you’re insecure or seeking validation. Remember, everyone has their own unique strengths and talents. Instead of trying to compete with everyone, focus on celebrating your own achievements and supporting those around you.
6. You struggle to empathise with other people’s problems.
Empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another. If you find it difficult to put yourself in someone else’s shoes and see things from their perspective, it might be a sign that you’re too focused on your own experiences. When someone shares their struggles with you, try to listen actively, validate their feelings, and offer support. Remember, everyone goes through tough times, and a little bit of empathy can go a long way.
7. You rarely ask people about their lives.
When you’re self-centred, it’s easy to forget that other people have lives, interests, and concerns of their own. If you rarely ask your friends, family, or colleagues about their lives, it might be a sign that you’re not as engaged in their well-being as you could be. Make an effort to show genuine interest in their lives, ask them questions, and listen attentively to their responses. It’s a simple way to show that you care.
8. You’re always talking about yourself.
Whether it’s your latest accomplishment, your upcoming holiday, or your opinion on a current event, if you’re always talking about yourself, it can be a major turn-off. While sharing your experiences and thoughts is important, it’s equally important to give people a chance to talk about themselves. If you find yourself dominating conversations, try to practice active listening, ask open-ended questions, and let them share their stories too.
9. You take credit for other people’s ideas or accomplishments.
Sharing credit and recognising other people’s efforts is a sign of good leadership and teamwork. When you take credit for someone else’s ideas or work, it undermines their confidence and can create resentment. Be sure to acknowledge what people bring to the table and give credit where credit is due. Remember, teamwork makes the dream work.
10. You always have to be right.
Nobody likes a know-it-all, and constantly insisting on being right can be exhausting for everyone involved. It’s okay to admit when you’re wrong or don’t have all the answers. In fact, it can be a sign of strength and humility. Try to be open to different perspectives, even if they challenge your own beliefs. Engaging in respectful debate can be a valuable learning experience for everyone involved.
11. You rarely ask for help, even when you need it.
We all need help sometimes, and there’s no shame in asking for it. When you refuse to ask for help, even when you’re struggling, it can send the message that you don’t trust or value the people around you. It can also lead to burnout and unnecessary stress. Remember, asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness. People are often more willing to lend a hand than you might think.
12. You make decisions without considering how they affect anyone else.
Our actions and decisions can have a ripple effect on those around us. If you’re making choices without considering how they might impact your friends, family, or colleagues, it might be a sign that you’re being self-centred. Before deciding, take a moment to think about how it might impact the people around you. Consider their feelings, needs, and perspectives. A little consideration goes a long way in building strong and healthy relationships.
13. You’re always trying to fix people’s problems.
While wanting to help people is admirable, constantly trying to fix their problems can be counterproductive. It can make people feel like you don’t trust their ability to handle things on their own, and it can undermine their autonomy. Instead of trying to solve their problems for them, offer support and encouragement. Listen to their concerns, validate their feelings, and help them brainstorm solutions. Remember, everyone has their own way of dealing with challenges.
14. You’re quick to judge people.
Judging people is a natural human tendency, but when it becomes a habit, it can be harmful and alienating. When you’re quick to judge, you miss out on the opportunity to truly understand and connect with people. Try to approach people with an open mind and a willingness to learn from their perspectives. Remember, everyone has their own unique experiences and challenges. A little bit of compassion can go a long way in building bridges and fostering understanding.
15. You hold grudges and refuse to forgive.
Holding on to anger and resentment can be toxic for both you and the person you’re holding a grudge against. Forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning the behaviour; it means letting go of the negative emotions and moving on. When you refuse to forgive, you’re only hurting yourself. It can lead to stress, anxiety, and even physical health problems. Try to practice forgiveness, both for yourself and for other people. It’s a powerful act of self-love and healing.
16. You expect special treatment.
We all like to feel appreciated, but expecting to be treated differently than everyone else is a sign of entitlement. Whether it’s cutting in line, demanding special favours, or expecting other people to cater to your every whim, this behaviour can be alienating and create resentment. Remember, everyone deserves to be treated with respect and consideration, not just you. Try to be mindful of other people’s needs and expectations, and don’t assume that you’re entitled to special privileges.
