It’s natural to feel hurt or wronged when things don’t go your way in life, of course.
However, most mature people realise that bad things happen to good people sometimes, and they pick themselves up and get on with life instead of throwing themselves a pity party. Sadly, some people are addicted to playing the victim, whether to get out of trouble or to elicit sympathy from everyone around them. You can always spot them because they tend to say these things pretty regularly.
1. “Why does this always happen to me?”
This one’s a classic. Whether it’s a minor inconvenience or a genuine setback, they frame it as part of some cosmic plot against them. It’s not just bad luck—it’s their bad luck, as if the universe has singled them out for misery. Instead of focusing on solutions, they wallow in their perceived misfortune.
2. “I can’t believe you’d do this to me.”
Source: Unsplash Even when they’ve done something wrong, they’ll flip the narrative to make it about how hurt they feel. By turning the spotlight on their emotions, they dodge accountability and make you feel like the bad guy for calling them out. It’s a tactic designed to shift the blame while keeping their hands clean.
3. “Nobody ever appreciates me.”
They’re quick to point out how much they do for other people—and how little they get in return. Even if people regularly show gratitude, they’ll conveniently ignore it to keep the narrative of neglect alive. This phrase is all about fishing for reassurance, but it can leave you feeling drained.
4. “I guess I’m just not good enough.”
Here’s a phrase designed to guilt-trip you into overcompensating. Instead of addressing the real issue, they go straight to self-pity. It’s an emotional shield that deflects criticism while making you feel like you’ve done something wrong, even when you haven’t.
5. “It’s not my fault.”
No matter what’s gone wrong, they’ll find a way to pin it on someone—or something—else. This refusal to take responsibility keeps their victim narrative intact while leaving other people to clean up the mess. It’s exhausting to deal with someone who never owns up to their part in things.
6. “You always misunderstand me.”
When confronted, they’ll claim you’ve twisted their words or taken them the wrong way. This tactic makes it hard to have productive conversations because they refuse to acknowledge their behaviour. Instead, the focus shifts to your supposed inability to understand them.
7. “I’m just trying my best.”
This sounds harmless, but it’s often used to shut down criticism. They frame themselves as someone who’s doing all they can, leaving no room for discussion about how their actions might be falling short. It’s a way of saying, “Don’t expect any more from me.”
8. “Everyone’s always against me.”
They’ll paint themselves as the underdog in every conflict, casting other people as the villains. This mentality makes them feel justified in their actions, no matter how unreasonable they might be. It’s hard to reason with someone who sees every disagreement as a personal attack.
9. “You don’t know what I’ve been through.”
While it’s true that everyone has their struggles, this phrase is often wielded as a way to shut down conversations. It’s a reminder of their hardships, implying that their behaviour should be excused because of what they’ve endured. Empathy is important, but it doesn’t mean they get a free pass to act however they like.
10. “I guess I’ll just have to deal with it on my own.”
This one’s a guilt trip disguised as independence. By saying this, they imply that no one’s willing to help them, even if that’s not the case. It’s a way to make people feel bad while keeping the focus on their struggles.
11. “If only people would listen to me.”
They position themselves as the voice of reason that everyone else ignores. This phrase keeps them feeling superior while also maintaining their victim status. The irony is that their unwillingness to listen often causes the very conflicts they complain about.
12. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”
While this might seem like an apology, it’s often used to deflect responsibility. Instead of owning up to their actions, they focus on their intentions as a way to downplay the impact of the behaviour. It’s less about making amends and more about saving face.
13. “You’re just too sensitive.”
This dismissive phrase shifts the blame onto you, making it seem like you’re the problem for having a reaction. It invalidates your feelings while allowing them to avoid taking accountability. Over time, this tactic can leave you questioning your own instincts.
14. “I just can’t win with you.”
This one turns the tables, making it seem like you’re the unreasonable one. They frame themselves as someone who can’t do anything right, regardless of the effort they put in. It’s a manipulative way to make you feel guilty for holding them accountable.
15. “I’m just too nice, I guess.”
This humblebrag makes it seem like their kindness is the root of all their problems. In reality, it’s often a way to avoid addressing how their actions contribute to their struggles. By framing themselves as overly generous, they shift the blame onto other people for taking advantage of them.
16. “You wouldn’t understand.”
This creates distance and shuts down conversations before they even start. By claiming you couldn’t possibly relate, they avoid explaining their actions or opening up to real discussion. It’s a way to maintain control while keeping everyone at arm’s length.
