Kindness is often in short supply in the world, so leading with it is usually a good idea.
That being said, it’s physically impossible to be nice 24/7 — life happens and sometimes people take advantage of you, making being friendly, approachable, and considerate a bit more difficult. Here’s why you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself if you happen to have a bad attitude from time to time. After all, sometimes you have to put your foot down in order to protect yourself.
1. It helps you set healthy boundaries.
Being nice all the time can make it hard to establish and maintain personal boundaries. When you’re always trying to please other people, you might end up saying yes to things you’d rather not do. Learning to say no, even if it doesn’t seem “nice”, is a must for your mental health. It helps you protect your time, energy, and emotional health, ultimately leading to more balanced relationships.
2. You’ll be more authentic.
Constant niceness can sometimes feel like wearing a mask. When you allow yourself to express a full range of emotions and responses, including those that aren’t always nice, you’re being true to yourself. Your authenticity can be refreshing both for you and those around you. It allows for more genuine interactions and deeper connections with people who appreciate your honesty.
3. It can prevent resentment from building up.
Always being nice, especially when you don’t feel like it, can lead to pent-up frustration and resentment. These negative feelings can simmer beneath the surface, potentially damaging your relationships and mental health over time. Allowing yourself to express disagreement or displeasure in a respectful way can prevent these negative emotions from accumulating and causing larger problems down the line.
4. You’ll be taken more seriously.
If you’re known for always being nice, people might start to take advantage of your good nature or not take your opinions seriously. Showing that you can be firm or even a bit stern when necessary can earn you more respect. It demonstrates that you have conviction in your beliefs and are willing to stand up for yourself when it matters.
5. It allows for honest feedback.
Sometimes, being nice means sugarcoating the truth or avoiding tough conversations altogether. However, honest feedback, even if it’s not particularly nice to hear, can be invaluable. Whether in personal relationships or professional settings, constructive criticism helps people grow and improve. By being willing to deliver this feedback, you’re contributing to other people’s development and creating a culture of openness.
6. You’ll make better decisions.
When you’re not constantly worried about being nice, you can focus more on making the right choices for yourself and other people. That might mean making unpopular decisions or standing firm on issues that matter to you. By prioritising what’s right over what’s nice, you’re more likely to make decisions that align with your values and lead to better outcomes in the long run.
7. It can lead to more meaningful relationships.
Relationships built solely on niceness can often be superficial. When you allow yourself to show a fuller range of emotions and responses, including those that aren’t always pleasant, you create opportunities for deeper connections. People who stick around when you’re not at your nicest are often the ones who truly care about you, leading to more meaningful and lasting relationships.
8. You’ll avoid burnout.
Constantly trying to be nice can be exhausting. It requires a lot of emotional labour to always put other people’s feelings first and maintain a pleasant demeanour. By giving yourself permission to not be nice all the time, you’re protecting yourself from emotional burnout. Taking time for self-care allows you to recharge and be genuinely nice when it really counts.
9. It encourages assertiveness.
Being nice all the time can sometimes translate to being passive. Learning to assert yourself, even if it means not being nice in the moment, is an important life skill. It allows you to advocate for your needs, express your opinions confidently, and navigate conflicts more effectively. Plus, a bit of assertiveness can lead to greater self-respect and respect from other people.
10. You’ll be more prepared for tough situations.
Source: Unsplash Life isn’t always nice, and neither are all the people you’ll encounter. By allowing yourself to not always be nice, you’re better preparing yourself for challenging situations. You’ll develop resilience and the ability to stand your ground when faced with difficult people or circumstances. Your toughness can be a valuable asset in both personal and professional spheres.
11. It can lead to more productive disagreements.
Source: Unsplash When you’re not focused on being nice all the time, you’re more likely to engage in honest, productive disagreements. These kinds of debates, where people feel free to express opposing views without fear of being seen as “not nice”, often lead to better solutions and more innovative ideas. It creates an environment where intellectual discourse can flourish.
12. You’ll be more in touch with your emotions.
Source: Unsplash Allowing yourself to not always be nice means acknowledging and expressing a wider range of emotions, which can lead to greater emotional intelligence and self-awareness. By recognising and accepting your less pleasant feelings, you can process them more effectively and gain a better understanding of yourself and your reactions to different situations.
13. It can improve your mental health.
Source: Unsplash Always trying to be nice can be a form of people-pleasing, which is often linked to anxiety and low self-esteem. By giving yourself permission to not be nice all the time, you’re prioritising your own mental health. Looking after yourself better can lead to reduced stress, improved confidence, and a stronger sense of self-worth.
14. You’ll be a better role model.
Source: Unsplash By showing that it’s okay to not always be nice, you can be a more realistic and helpful role model for everyone around you, especially children. It demonstrates that it’s normal to have a range of emotions and that it’s important to express them in healthy ways. This can help people develop a more balanced approach to their own emotional expression and interpersonal relationships.
15. It allows for more effective leadership.
Source: Unsplash In leadership roles, being nice all the time isn’t always the most effective approach. Sometimes, leaders need to make tough decisions, deliver critical feedback, or hold people accountable. By being willing to set niceness aside when necessary, you can become a more effective leader who inspires respect and drives results.
16. You’ll have more energy for genuine kindness.
Source: Unsplash When you’re not expending all your energy trying to be nice all the time, you’ll have more to give when it really matters. This allows for more genuine acts of kindness that come from a place of sincerity rather than obligation. These authentic moments of niceness are often more meaningful and impactful, both for you and the recipients of your kindness.
