Back in the 1950s, divorce rates were incredibly low — about 2.5 per every 1,000 people.
Obviously, that number has skyrocketed in recent decades, proving that marriage just isn’t working the way it used to. While some of the reasons are as old as time, others are unique to the society in which we now live. Here are some of the reasons roughly half of marriages still end in divorce — and why many people are choosing not to walk down the aisle at all because of it.
1. Many couples have unrealistic expectations from the start.
Many people go into marriage with high, sometimes unattainable, expectations. Social media and movies can paint an idealised version of love that’s hard to match in real life. When reality doesn’t meet those expectations, disappointment can creep in. Recognising that real relationships take work can help manage these expectations.
2. They’re constantly comparing themselves to other people/couples.
With social media at our fingertips, it’s easy to compare our marriage to someone else’s highlight reel. Seeing other people’s holidays, gifts, or anniversaries can make us feel like our relationship is falling short. But focusing on what’s real, rather than what’s shared, is key to staying grounded in your own relationship.
3. They lack communication.
Effective communication is the foundation of any strong relationship, yet it’s often overlooked or taken for granted. When couples don’t openly share their feelings or listen to each other, resentment can build. Regular, honest communication is one of the simplest ways to keep a relationship healthy.
4. People prioritise their careers over relationships.
Today, many people are focused on building careers, sometimes at the expense of personal relationships. Balancing work and home life can be challenging, and marriage can take a back seat. Finding a way to prioritise both can make all the difference in staying connected.
5. Couples spend a lack of quality time together.
In busy lives, quality time with a partner often falls to the bottom of the list. Over time, this can lead to a sense of disconnect and loneliness within the relationship. Making intentional time for each other can help keep the bond strong, even when life is hectic.
6. There’s too much financial stress.
Money problems are a common source of tension in any marriage, especially if there are different spending habits or financial priorities. Financial stress can lead to arguments and even mistrust. Being open about finances and planning together can help alleviate this pressure.
7. The pressure for instant gratification can be overwhelming.
In a world of instant everything, it can be easy to want immediate results in a relationship, too. When things get tough, some may feel inclined to move on rather than work through the issues. Remembering that relationships take time and effort can help withstand tough times.
8. They simply grow apart over time.
As people change, it’s natural for relationships to evolve. But sometimes, couples grow in different directions and feel like strangers to each other. Making an effort to stay involved in each other’s lives and interests can help bridge the gap.
9. They place too much focus on independence.
While having a sense of independence is important, too much focus on “doing your own thing” can create emotional distance. A healthy marriage balances personal freedom with connection and interdependence. Relationships thrive when both people feel supported and included.
10. They neglect intimacy.
Physical and emotional intimacy are essential parts of a healthy marriage, but they can fade if not nurtured. Busy schedules, stress, and complacency can create distance in this area. Being intentional about staying close can make a big difference in maintaining a deeper bond.
11. They bring in too much unresolved baggage from the past.
Lingering issues or unresolved arguments can build up over time, creating tension in the relationship. Ignoring problems doesn’t make them go away – it often makes them worse. Addressing and resolving conflicts early on helps clear the air and strengthens trust.
12. They have a lack of shared goals.
When partners don’t have shared dreams or a vision for the future, it can make the relationship feel aimless. Shared goals bring purpose and connection to the relationship, helping both partners feel like they’re moving in the same direction. Finding common ground keeps you focused on a future together.
13. They rely too heavily on each other for happiness.
It’s natural to want to make your partner happy, but putting all your happiness in someone else’s hands can lead to disappointment. Building a relationship with mutual support, but also individual fulfilment, can take pressure off each partner. Healthy relationships allow room for each person to find joy in their own lives, too.
14. Technology provides too many distractions.
With phones, tablets, and endless notifications, it’s easy to feel distracted from the relationship. Scrolling on a phone instead of connecting with your partner can gradually create distance. Putting down the screens and being present with each other strengthens the bond over time.
15. There’s a serious misalignment in values or beliefs.
When partners have different values or beliefs, it can lead to disagreements on key issues, from family planning to lifestyle choices. Respecting each other’s perspectives while finding common ground helps prevent these differences from becoming major conflicts. Open dialogue about values can pave the way for mutual understanding.
16. They take each other for granted.
Over time, it’s easy to get comfortable and forget to show appreciation for each other. Small acts of gratitude and recognition go a long way in keeping love alive. Acknowledging each other regularly reminds you of why you’re together and keeps the relationship feeling fresh.
