Loneliness isn’t a one-size-fits-all experience by any means.
Source: Unsplash
Some of us sail through life surrounded by friends and loved ones, while others struggle to find that same sense of connection. It’s not always a matter of choice or personality, either; sometimes, certain things can make us more susceptible to feeling lonely.
1. Connecting with people and maintaining strong relationships is a struggle for them.
Some people struggle with social skills, making it harder to initiate and sustain friendships or romantic relationships. They find it a lot harder to express their feelings, understand social cues, or navigate conflict. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, no matter where they are and who they’re with.
2. They’ve been through significant life transitions or losses.
Source: Unsplash Major life changes, like moving to a new city, starting a new job, or losing a loved one, can disrupt our social networks and leave us feeling lost and disconnected. The more isolated we feel, the harder it is to build new connections or maintain the ones we already have.
3. They have a history of trauma or social rejection.
Source: Unsplash People who were bullied or publicly humiliated in the past are much more likely to carry the scars of those experiences with them for years. They might be scared to open up, struggle with trust, or avoid social situations altogether as a result. These self-protective mechanisms can create a barrier to forming meaningful relationships, leading to chronic loneliness.
4. They live in isolation or have limited social opportunities.
Source: Unsplash Geographical isolation, health conditions, or life circumstances can limit our opportunities for social interaction. People who live out in the sticks, have mobility issues, or work from home might have fewer chances to meet new people or maintain existing relationships. With so few opportunities for social connection, it’s no wonder some people begin to feel lonely.
5. They struggle with low self-esteem.
Source: Unsplash Negative beliefs about ourselves can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of loneliness. If we believe we’re unlovable, unworthy, or uninteresting, we might avoid social situations or push people away, even unintentionally. This can perpetuate feelings of isolation and make it even harder to make friends and even acquaintances.
6. They have a strong need for independence and self-reliance.
Source: Unsplash While independence is a valuable trait, an excessive need for self-reliance can lead to isolation and loneliness. Some people might be hesitant to ask for help, share their vulnerabilities, or rely on other people for support. This can prevent them from getting close to people and experiencing the benefits of social connection.
7. They don’t know how to express their feelings or needs.
Source: Unsplash Some people find it challenging to talk about their emotions and needs in a way that allows them to feel truly seen and heard. As a result, they find it even harder to connect with people on a deeper level and build intimacy in relationships. Unexpressed emotions and unmet needs can lead to feelings of frustration, isolation, and loneliness.
8. They tend to compare themselves to other people all the time.
Source: Unsplash Social media and other forms of comparison can fuel feelings of inadequacy and loneliness. When we get into constant comparisons, we focus on our so-called flaws and overlook our own unique strengths and accomplishments. This can lead to a negative self-image and a sense of isolation from those we see as “better” or “more successful.”
9. They have high expectations for relationships.
Source: Unsplash Having high standards for friendships and romantic relationships isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but unrealistic or inflexible expectations can make it nearly impossible to form connections. If we’re constantly searching for the “perfect” partner or friend, we might miss out on opportunities to build meaningful relationships with people who are perfectly imperfect.
10. They struggle with social anxiety or shyness.
Source: Unsplash Social anxiety and shyness can create a significant barrier to social interaction. People who experience these feelings might avoid social situations, struggle to initiate conversations, or feel uncomfortable in group settings. This can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness, even when surrounded by people.
11. They’ve experienced discrimination or exclusion.
People who belong to marginalised groups or have experienced discrimination or exclusion might be more likely to feel lonely. The feeling of not belonging or being accepted can lead to social withdrawal and a reluctance to engage in social situations, and understandably so. It’s crucial to create inclusive and welcoming environments where everyone feels valued and respected.
12. They have a busy or demanding lifestyle.
It’s easy to get caught up in work, family obligations, and other commitments. While it’s important to be productive and responsible, neglecting our social needs can lead to feelings of isolation and loneliness. It’s so important to make time for meaningful connections, even when life gets busy.
13. They’re afraid of intimacy or vulnerability.
Some people might avoid close relationships because they fear being hurt, rejected, or abandoned. This fear of intimacy can prevent them from opening up to people and getting deep. It’s important to recognise that vulnerability is a necessary part of intimacy, and that true connection requires taking emotional risks.
14. They have a tendency to focus on the negative.
A negative mindset can create a self-fulfilling prophecy of loneliness. If we focus on the negative aspects of our lives or relationships, we’re more likely to see rejection or isolation where it might not exist. Trying to develop a more positive outlook can help us attract and maintain healthy relationships.
15. They lack a sense of purpose or belonging.
Feeling like we have a purpose in life and a sense of belonging to a community can be so important for our mental and emotional health. People who lack a sense of purpose or struggle to find their place in the world might be more susceptible to loneliness. Finding meaningful activities, pursuing passions, and connecting with like-minded people can help combat feelings of isolation.
16. They’re not great at adapting to new environments or social groups.
Some people thrive in familiar settings and struggle to adapt to new environments or social groups. This can make it difficult to make new friends or build connections in unfamiliar situations. Developing flexibility and adaptability can help us navigate these transitions and reduce feelings of loneliness.
