People are deciding to start families later than ever before, and that comes with a lot of pros and cons.
While it’s great that people are accomplishing more of their goals and experiencing more of life before deciding to bring kids into the world, being an older parent means putting a lot on the kids, who have to watch you age faster than their friends’ parents. If this is the situation you grew up in, chances are you’ll relate to more than a few of these experiences.
1. You worry about their health more often.
As your parents age, it’s natural to start worrying about their health earlier in life. You might catch yourself checking in on them more than your peers do with their younger parents. This anxiety can be draining, especially if you start noticing signs of ageing earlier than you’d expect.
2. You feel out of sync with your friends.
While your friends’ parents are out hiking or travelling, your parents might be slowing down or thinking about retirement. It’s not that you love your parents any less, but it can feel a little isolating when your experiences don’t match up with your peers.
3. You grow up faster than your peers.
You might take on more responsibilities early, whether it’s helping out around the house or even caring for your parents in small ways. The extra maturity can be a blessing, but it also means you might miss out on the carefree parts of childhood that your friends get to enjoy.
4. You miss out on certain physical activities.
Older parents may not have the energy for active games, sports, or running around. While this can mean you miss out on certain bonding activities, it also encourages you to find other ways to connect that don’t rely on physical energy—like conversations, hobbies, or quiet time together.
5. The fear of losing them sooner is very real.
Having older parents can bring the hard reality that you might lose them earlier than your friends lose theirs. It can create a bittersweet pressure to make the most of every moment and capture memories before time slips away.
6. The generational gap is more pronounced.
With an age gap comes different cultural references, and your parents might not understand the latest trends or technology you’re into. This disconnect can lead to funny or frustrating moments where you have to explain things they might not be familiar with, making it feel like you live in different worlds sometimes.
7. Financial stress could pop up unexpectedly.
As they age, you might start worrying about your parents’ financial situation, especially if they retire or face health issues. There could be pressure on you to help out, which can create stress, especially if you’re trying to manage your own finances and life plans at the same time.
8. Fewer siblings (if any) can be a bit lonely.
Older parents might have fewer children, leaving you without the built-in support of siblings. As the only or one of a few children, you might feel more responsibility to care for your parents, and sometimes it can feel like you’re shouldering all the pressure on your own.
9. You could face social stigma.
People might make offhand comments about your family, like mistaking your parents for your grandparents. These comments can sting, leaving you to either shrug them off or feel defensive about your family’s dynamics.
10. You might miss out on grandparent time.
If your grandparents are elderly or not around as much, you might not get that special bond that your friends have with theirs. This can mean fewer family stories or traditions passed down, and it can feel like a missed opportunity for learning about your family history.
11. You could feel torn between life stages.
As you start building your own life, you might feel torn between caring for ageing parents and pursuing your goals. Balancing your career, social life, and family responsibilities can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re trying to juggle multiple roles at once.
12. You might experience a role reversal earlier.
Your parents may need your help with daily tasks or health decisions earlier than your peers experience with theirs. Stepping into the role of caregiver while still young can be a tough emotional shift and may force you to grow up faster.
13. Family planning becomes complicated.
If you’re considering having children, you may worry about whether your parents will be around to experience grandparenthood or feel pressured to start a family sooner. This can add a layer of complexity to decisions about when or whether to have kids.
14. You might miss out on certain cultural touchstones.
Older parents might not be into the latest movies, music, or trends, making it harder to connect over pop culture. This can feel like a missed opportunity to bond over shared experiences, and you might have to find different ways to relate to them.
15. You feel guilty about focusing on your own life.
When you want to move away, travel, or pursue personal goals, it can be hard to shake the guilt of leaving ageing parents behind. It’s a constant balancing act between your ambitions and the responsibility you feel towards them.
16. You clash over energy levels.
While you’re full of energy and excitement for life, your parents might prefer a slower pace. It’s a mismatch that can create frustration for both of you as you try to find common ground in activities and how you spend time together.
