You’re just there to do your job, but it’d be nice to be on good terms with your colleagues.
It makes things a whole lot less awkward, helps the time pass faster, and gives you someone to vent with when your boss does something extra obnoxious. Unfortunately, just because you think you’re great to work with doesn’t mean other people agree. In fact, if these experiences sound all too familiar to you in the workplace, your co-workers might not like working with you all that much.
1. Your emails get the bare minimum response.
You send detailed messages and get back one-word replies, if any response at all. While everyone’s busy, your colleagues seem to find time to write thoughtful responses to everyone else while keeping things clipped and cold with you. Watch how they communicate with other people versus their interactions with you — the difference can be telling. The good news? Clear, concise communication with a focus on essential information might help turn those short replies into actual conversations.
2. Conversations stop when you join.
You’ve noticed that lively discussions suddenly fizzle out when you approach, or the topic quickly changes. The break room banter flows until you walk in, then everyone remembers they have somewhere to be. This isn’t just a coincidence when it happens regularly. Pay attention to how you join conversations — sometimes it’s not what you say, but how you enter the space that makes the difference.
3. You’re left out of the loop.
Important updates somehow never make it to your inbox, and you’re constantly finding out about meetings after they happen. Everyone seems to know about that deadline change except you, and group decisions get made without your input. When being out of the loop becomes a pattern rather than an occasional oversight, it’s worth examining why information isn’t flowing your way.
4. Your ideas get ignored, then repeated.
You make a suggestion in a meeting and get crickets, only to watch someone else say the same thing ten minutes later to enthusiastic approval. Such a frustrating pattern isn’t just bad luck — it’s often a sign that the problem isn’t your ideas, but how you’re being perceived. Building better relationships might matter more than having brilliant insights.
5. You get excluded from social plans.
Those impromptu lunch outings somehow never include you, and you find out about after-work gatherings through social media posts the next day. While not every colleague needs to be your best friend, consistent social exclusion at work isn’t random. Building genuine connections during work hours often leads to more natural social inclusion.
6. Your requests get pushed to the bottom.
When you need something, it seems to take forever to get a response or assistance. Meanwhile, your colleagues’ requests get handled promptly. This isn’t about official priorities — it’s about unofficial ones. Understanding how you ask for things, not just what you’re asking for, can make a big difference in response time.
7. Body language turns defensive.
Notice how people physically respond when you approach — crossed arms, turned away bodies, minimal eye contact. These subtle physical cues speak volumes about comfort levels. While some people are naturally less open, consistent closed-off body language from multiple colleagues suggests it’s time to examine your approach.
8. Your work gets extra scrutiny.
Everything you submit seems to get picked apart, while other people get quick approvals for similar work. Your projects face multiple rounds of revision while your colleagues’ work sails through. Their heightened scrutiny might indicate a trust deficit that needs addressing beyond just the quality of your work.
9. People avoid working with you.
When it’s time to pair up for projects, people quickly find other partners. There’s always an excuse why they can’t be on your team, even when it would make logical sense. Watch for patterns in how people react when collaboration opportunities arise — their instinctive responses tell you a lot.
10. You get the bare minimum help.
When you ask for assistance, you get just enough to say you were helped, but nothing more. The detailed explanations and extra tips everyone else receives aren’t part of your experience. Building a reputation as someone who also helps other people often leads to more generous responses when you need support.
11. Your achievements get downplayed.
Your successes tend to get minimised or attributed to luck rather than skill. When you hit a milestone, the celebration feels muted compared to other people’s achievements. While you can’t control other people’s reactions, focusing on building genuine supporters rather than just collecting wins can change how your successes are perceived.
12. Small talk stays surface-level.
Conversations never seem to move past weather and basic pleasantries. While other people share weekend plans and personal stories, your interactions remain strictly professional. Creating safe spaces for everyone else to share often starts with appropriate vulnerability on your part.
13. Your mistakes become office stories.
That one time you messed up somehow becomes legendary, while other people’s similar mistakes are quickly forgotten. Your minor errors get brought up repeatedly, often disguised as jokes. Remember that how you handle these situations often determines whether they become permanent parts of your office reputation.
14. You get formal treatment.
While everyone else enjoys casual, friendly interactions, communication with you stays strictly professional. Everything feels oddly stiff and by-the-book, even in typically relaxed situations. The formality barrier often indicates discomfort that needs addressing through gradual trust-building.
15. Your feedback gets sugar-coated.
People seem hesitant to give you direct feedback, preferring vague responses over honest critiques. Their avoidance often means they don’t trust your reaction to constructive criticism. Showing you can handle feedback gracefully is the first step to getting the honest input you need to improve.
16. The energy changes when you’re around.
The office vibe shifts noticeably when you enter a space — and not in a good way. Laughter dies down, conversations become more guarded, and everything feels slightly tense. Understanding the energy you bring to spaces is the first step in changing how people react to your presence.
