You might be true blue, but that doesn’t mean your friends feel the same.
If there’s someone in your life who’s supposed to be a good mate, but whose behaviour is a little but questionable, it’s worth looking at the reality of the situation to see if the friendship is worth continuing. After all, it’s supposed to be a two-way street, and if it’s all one-way traffic, it’s a waste of time. With a friend like this, who needs enemies?
1. They’re always ‘too busy’ when you need them.
Ever notice how your “friend” is never around when you’re in a tight spot? They’ve always got some excuse — work’s crazy, the dog ate their phone, whatever. But when they need a favour, suddenly, they’ve got all the time in the world. They’re great at dodging your calls but expect you to be available for theirs the minute you need them. If your friendship feels more one-sided than a pancake, it might be time to flip the script.
2. They love a good backhanded compliment.
Ever get a compliment from them that leaves you feeling more confused than flattered? Something like, “That dress is bold, not many could pull it off.” It’s meant to sound nice, but actually, it stings. These subtle digs are designed to knock you down a peg without being too obvious. A real friend makes you feel good about yourself, not low-key throwing shade and making you second-guess your choices.
3. They’re always trying to one-up you.
When you share something good, like a promotion or personal win, a friend should be happy for you, not turn it into a competition. But with this person, you get a bigger story or achievement in return, like they always have to top whatever you’ve done. It’s exhausting and makes sharing your wins feel like a battle instead of a celebration. A true friend would be your biggest cheerleader, not constantly trying to outshine you.
4. They’re all smiles to your face, but talk smack behind your back.
We’ve all been there—hearing through the grapevine that your “friend” has been talking about you behind your back. If they’re sweet to your face but eviscerate you when you’re not around, that’s not a friend, it’s a two-faced situation. Real mates don’t switch personalities depending on the company—they’re loyal whether you’re there or not. If they can’t keep your name out of their mouth in a bad way, it’s time to rethink things.
5. They only show up when they need something.
Does it feel like they vanish when you’re fine but pop up the moment they need a favour? Maybe it’s a lift, money, or just someone to vent to. But once they’ve got what they need, they’re gone again. If they’re only around when there’s something in it for them, they’re not a friend—they’re using you. A friendship should be more than just doing favours and then being ghosted.
6. They love pointing out your flaws.
Sure, good friends can tell you when there’s spinach in your teeth, but if they’re constantly pointing out your flaws—whether it’s your outfit, a small mistake, or a pimple—they’re more interested in putting you down than helping. Real friends don’t make you feel self-conscious all the time. If it seems like they’ve got a running list of your imperfections, it might be their insecurity talking, not real care.
7. They make you feel guilty for spending time with other people.
A real friend gets it—you’ve got other people in your life. But if your friend makes you feel guilty for hanging out with someone else, that’s a problem. They might pull the passive-aggressive card, make a big deal of it, or create some drama to get your attention back. Friendships shouldn’t come with chains; you’re allowed to have other friends without dealing with their jealousy.
8. They’re always the victim in their stories.
Do they constantly tell you how everyone’s always wronging them? Somehow, they’re the innocent one in every situation, and everyone else is to blame. It’s exhausting to hear them spin every story with them as the victim, and honestly, it makes you wonder how long until you’re the next “villain” in their narrative. A real friend owns up to their part in things instead of always pointing the finger.
9. They’re jealous of your success.
When you achieve something big, you expect your friend to celebrate with you. But instead, they act distant or make weird comments that take the shine off your achievement. Maybe they downplay it or immediately switch the focus to themselves. If your success feels like a threat to them, it’s jealousy, plain and simple, and that’s not the kind of energy you need.
10. They’re always stirring up drama.
Some people just love drama, and if your friend is always at the centre of it, or worse, dragging you into it, that’s a red flag. They might spread gossip, pit people against each other, or blow small issues out of proportion just for the attention. You don’t need that kind of chaos in your life. Friendships should bring peace, not endless soap opera-level drama.
11. They make you feel bad about yourself.
After hanging out with them, do you feel drained or bad about yourself? Real friends lift you up, not tear you down or leave you feeling like you’re not good enough. If they make you question your self-worth every time you spend time together, it’s time to consider whether they’re a friend or just an emotional drain.
12. They’re unreliable and constantly let you down.
There’s always that one friend who’s never around when they say they will be. They cancel last minute, show up late, or don’t show up at all. If they constantly let you down when it matters, it’s a sign they don’t value your time. Friendship isn’t about being there just when it’s fun—it’s about reliability, too.
13. They pressure you to do things you’re not comfortable with.
Friends should respect your boundaries, not pressure you to cross them. If they’re constantly pushing you to drink more, spend money you don’t have, or do things you’ve said no to, they’re not respecting your limits. A true friend doesn’t make you feel uncomfortable for sticking to what feels right for you.
14. They’re only interested in what you can do for them.
If it feels like your friendship is all about you helping them, and they never return the favour, that’s a problem. A real friendship involves give and take, not just you giving while they take. If their interest in you is always tied to what you can offer, it’s not a friendship, it’s a transaction.
15. They ghost you when things get tough.
When life gets hard, that’s when true friends step up. But if they’re nowhere to be found when you’re struggling, it’s a clear sign they’re only in it for the good times. If they can’t support you when things get rough, they’re not really your mate—they’re just along for the ride when it’s easy.
16. They make you doubt your own reality.
If your friend constantly makes you second-guess yourself or denies things that obviously happened, it’s a form of gaslighting. They’re trying to twist things to make you feel confused or doubt your memory. Friends should make you feel secure, not like you’re losing your mind. If you constantly feel on edge or unsure of yourself around them, it’s time to walk away.
