While it’s important to make sure your needs are met in a relationship, it shouldn’t be at the exclusion of your partner’s.
If you’re married to a man who always does what suits him best without ever caring how his decisions affect you – or what you might want or need — it’s clear he’s being pretty selfish. It may not be immediately apparent that this is what’s happening, but here’s how you know there’s an imbalance in your marriage that needs addressing.
1. He never asks about your day.
When you get home, it’s all about his day, his problems, his stories. He’ll talk your ear off about his stuff, but never bothers to ask how you’re doing. It’s like you’re his personal audience, not a partner. This one-sided communication can make you feel pretty invisible in your own relationship.
2. He makes plans without consulting you.
Suddenly, he’s got weekend plans with the boys or a work trip, and you’re the last to know. He doesn’t consider your schedule or whether you might have had something in mind. It’s like he’s still living the single life, making decisions solo without thinking about how it affects you both as a couple.
3. He always chooses the restaurant/movie/activity.
When it comes to date night or free time, his preferences always win out. He’ll choose the restaurant he likes, the movie he wants to see, or the activity he enjoys. Your interests? They’re not even on his radar. It’s his way or the highway, and that highway’s getting old fast.
4. He spends money on himself without discussion.
Big purchases for himself? No problem. But when it comes to joint expenses or things you need, suddenly it’s time for a budget talk. He’ll drop cash on a new gadget or hobby without blinking, but your stuff is always up for debate. It’s like there are two sets of financial rules in your house.
5. He doesn’t help with household chores.
The dishes pile up, the laundry overflows, but he doesn’t lift a finger. In his mind, that’s your job. He’s too busy relaxing after work or pursuing his hobbies to pitch in. It’s like he thinks fairies come in and clean while he’s asleep. News flash, buddy: those fairies are you, and you’re getting tired.
6. He interrupts you constantly.
When you’re talking, he can’t seem to wait his turn. He’ll cut in, change the subject, or just start talking over you. It’s like what you’re saying isn’t important enough to warrant his full attention. This habit can make you feel like your thoughts and feelings are being dismissed.
7. He rarely compromises.
Relationships are all about give and take, but with him, it’s all take. Whether it’s deciding on holiday plans or choosing a paint colour for the living room, his opinion always seems to win out. He’s not interested in finding middle ground — it’s his way or no way.
8. He doesn’t remember important dates.
Your birthday, your anniversary, that important work presentation you told him about — they all slip his mind. But he never forgets his own stuff. It’s not about having a bad memory; it’s about not prioritising things that are important to you.
9. He’s always on his phone.
When you’re together, his attention is on his screen, not on you. He’s scrolling, texting, or playing games instead of engaging in conversation or activities with you. It’s like you’re competing with his phone for attention, and the phone’s winning.
10. He doesn’t support your goals.
When you talk about your dreams or ambitions, he’s lukewarm at best. He might even discourage you if your goals inconvenience him in any way. Your growth and happiness should be important to him, but it seems like he only cares about how your aspirations affect his comfort.
11. He dismisses your feelings.
When you’re upset or hurt, especially by something he’s done, he brushes it off. He might tell you you’re overreacting or being too sensitive. Instead of trying to understand your perspective, he’s more concerned with defending himself or avoiding discomfort.
12. He never says “thank you.”
All the things you do for him and the household go unnoticed and unappreciated. He takes your efforts for granted, as if it’s just expected. A simple “thank you” could go a long way, but he doesn’t seem to realise or care about acknowledging your contributions.
13. He prioritises his hobbies over family time.
Source: Unsplash Whether it’s golf, video games, or watching sports, his hobbies always seem to come first. Family outings or quality time together take a back seat to his personal interests. It’s like he’s a part-time family man, showing up only when it doesn’t interfere with his fun.
14. He doesn’t ask for your input on decisions.
Big decisions that affect both of you? He makes them solo. Whether it’s about finances, where to live, or how to raise the kids, he acts like his opinion is the only one that matters. It’s as if he forgets you’re supposed to be equal partners in this relationship.
15. He rarely initiates physical affection.
Unless he wants something, physical affection is off the table. Hugs, kisses, or even just sitting close on the couch — it’s all up to you to initiate. He seems to have forgotten that showing love and affection is a two-way street.
16. He doesn’t stand up for you to other people.
When anyone criticises or disrespects you, he stays silent or even agrees with them. He’s more concerned with keeping the peace or looking good than defending his partner. It’s like he’s forgotten that you’re a team, and teams are supposed to have each other’s backs.
