Some people are always causing drama, picking fights, or just generally making things harder than they need to be.
Maybe you’ve even caught yourself slipping into that role from time to time. Hey, it happens to the best of us. But the good news is, being difficult isn’t a life sentence. With a little self-awareness and a willingness to change, you can transform into someone who’s easy to get along with and a joy to be around. Here are some things you can do to turn things around.
1. Listen more and acknowledge other people’s perspectives.
Don’t just wait for your turn to talk. Actually listen to what other people have to say, even if you disagree. Make eye contact, nod along, and ask clarifying questions. Show them that you value their opinions and are genuinely interested in understanding their perspective. You might be surprised at how much this simple act can de-escalate tension and build rapport.
2. Choose your battles wisely and avoid unnecessary conflict.
Not every disagreement needs to turn into a full-blown argument. Sometimes, it’s okay to let things go. Ask yourself if the issue is truly important or if it’s something you can compromise on. If it’s not a hill worth dying on, take a deep breath and move on. You’ll save yourself a lot of stress and aggravation in the long run.
3. Be willing to compromise and find middle ground.
In any relationship, whether it’s personal or professional, compromise is key. Be open to hearing other people’s suggestions and finding solutions that work for everyone involved. Remember, it’s not always about winning or being right. It’s about finding common ground and creating a win-win situation for everyone involved.
4. Own up to your mistakes and apologise sincerely when necessary.
Nobody’s perfect, and we all mess up from time to time. If you make a mistake, admit it and take responsibility for your actions. A sincere apology can go a long way in mending fences and rebuilding trust. Don’t let your ego get in the way of making things right.
5. Be mindful of your tone and avoid negativity.
How you say something can be just as important as what you say. Avoid using a harsh, condescending, or accusatory tone. Instead, speak calmly and respectfully, even if you’re feeling frustrated or upset. Focus on expressing your needs and concerns without resorting to negativity or blame. A positive attitude can go a long way in creating a more harmonious atmosphere.
6. Take a step back and cool down before reacting.
When emotions run high, it’s easy to say or do things you’ll later regret. If you feel yourself getting worked up, take a break from the situation. Go for a walk, listen to some music, or do whatever you need to do to calm down. Once you’ve regained your composure, you can return to the conversation with a clearer head and a more constructive approach.
7. Express your needs and concerns clearly and assertively.
Don’t expect people to read your mind. If something is bothering you, speak up about it. Use “I” statements to express your feelings and needs, rather than blaming or accusing other people. For example, instead of saying, “You always make me feel like I’m not good enough,” try saying, “I feel hurt when you criticise my work. I would appreciate it if you could offer constructive feedback instead.” Be clear, direct, and respectful in your communication.
8. Be willing to let go of grudges and move on.
Holding on to resentment and anger only hurts you in the end. It creates a toxic energy that can poison your relationships and prevent you from moving forward. Choose to forgive, even if it’s difficult. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean condoning the behaviour; it means releasing yourself from the burden of negativity and choosing to focus on the present and future.
9. Be open to feedback and willing to change.
Don’t get defensive when someone offers constructive criticism. Take a moment to consider their perspective and see if there’s any truth to what they’re saying. Even if you don’t agree with everything, try to find something you can learn from the feedback. Remember, feedback is an opportunity for growth, not a personal attack.
10. Don’t take everything personally.
It’s easy to feel attacked or offended when someone disagrees with you, but try not to take it personally. Remember, everyone has their own opinions and experiences, and they’re not always going to align with yours. Separate the issue from the person and try to see things from their point of view. This can help you avoid unnecessary conflict and maintain healthy relationships.
11. Show empathy and compassion towards other people.
Put yourself in other people’s shoes and try to understand where they’re coming from. This doesn’t mean you have to agree with them, but it does mean acknowledging their feelings and respecting their perspective. A little empathy can go a long way in building bridges and encouraging understanding.
12. Be willing to help out and offer support.
Source: Unsplash Don’t always wait to be asked. If you see someone struggling, offer a helping hand. This could be as simple as holding a door open, offering to carry something heavy, or just lending a listening ear. Small acts of kindness can make a big difference in someone’s day, and they can also help you build stronger relationships with those around you.
13. Be punctual and reliable.
Source: Unsplash If you say you’re going to be somewhere at a certain time, be there. If you say you’re going to do something, do it. Being reliable and trustworthy is essential for building strong relationships and maintaining a positive reputation. It shows respect for other people’s time and energy, and it demonstrates your commitment to following through on your promises.
14. Be positive and optimistic.
Source: Unsplash Nobody likes a Negative Nancy. A positive attitude can be contagious and make you a more enjoyable person to be around. Focus on the good things in your life and try to find the silver lining in challenging situations. A positive outlook can help you cope with stress, build resilience, and attract more positive people and experiences into your life.
15. Take care of yourself and manage your stress.
When you’re feeling stressed, overwhelmed, or burnt out, it’s easy to take it out on everyone else. Make sure you’re taking care of your physical and mental health. Get enough sleep, eat nutritious food, exercise regularly, and find healthy ways to manage stress. When you feel good, you’re more likely to be patient, understanding, and easy to get along with.
16. Practice gratitude and appreciation.
Take time each day to reflect on the things you’re grateful for. This could be anything from a supportive friend to a delicious meal to a beautiful sunset. Expressing gratitude can help you shift your focus from negativity to positivity, and it can also strengthen your relationships. When you appreciate the good things in your life, you’re less likely to be difficult or demanding.
