Ever felt like you’re caught in a spider’s web when dealing with a narcissist? It’s not your imagination.
Narcissists have a hidden agenda, a twisted playbook they use to manipulate and control those around them. Their motives aren’t always obvious, but their actions leave a trail of emotional wreckage in their wake. Here are some of the things they want to happen.
1. They want you to doubt your own sanity.
Source: Unsplash Gaslighting is a narcissist’s weapon of choice. They distort reality, deny your experiences, and twist your words until you question your own perception. This deliberate confusion creates a power imbalance, making you more reliant on their version of events and easier to manipulate.
2. They want you to feel worthless and insecure.
Narcissists are experts at chipping away at your self-esteem. They use subtle put-downs, backhanded compliments, and constant criticism to destroy your confidence. By making you feel inadequate, they gain a sense of superiority and control.
3. They want you to be completely dependent on them.
Narcissists crave control and often isolate their victims from friends and family. By undermining your support system, they become your sole source of validation and approval. This dependence gives them immense power over your emotions and decisions.
4. They want you to feel like you’re always walking on eggshells.
Narcissists are masters of creating an atmosphere of tension and unpredictability. Their moods can shift on a dime, leaving you constantly guessing and anxious to avoid triggering their anger or disapproval. This emotional volatility keeps you off balance and under their thumb.
5. They want you to believe their lies and excuses.
Narcissists are notorious for their dishonesty and lack of accountability. They weave elaborate tales, shift blame, and make empty promises. Their goal is to keep you hooked, always hoping for change, while they continue to manipulate and exploit you.
6. They want you to feel guilty and responsible for their happiness.
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating emotions. They often play the victim, blaming you for their unhappiness and shortcomings. This guilt trip tactic can make you feel responsible for their well-being, leading you to overextend yourself and sacrifice your own needs.
7. They want you to feel like you’re the crazy one.
When confronted with their toxic behaviour, narcissists often turn the tables and accuse you of being overreacting, irrational, or even mentally unstable. This tactic, known as gaslighting, is designed to make you doubt your own sanity and perceptions, further solidifying their control.
8. They want you to apologise for things you didn’t do.
Narcissists have a way of twisting situations to make you feel at fault, even when you’ve done nothing wrong. They might accuse you of hurting their feelings, being insensitive, or not meeting their unrealistic expectations. This relentless blame-shifting keeps you on the defensive and gnaws at your self-worth.
9. They want to control every aspect of your life.
Narcissists crave power and control. They want to dictate your choices, your friendships, your hobbies, even your thoughts and feelings. They might monitor your social media, question your whereabouts, or criticise your decisions. This suffocating control can leave you feeling trapped and powerless.
10. They want you to feel like you’re always competing for their attention.
Narcissists thrive on attention and admiration. They might flirt with other people, maintain a string of admirers, or create drama to keep you vying for their approval. This constant competition can leave you feeling insecure, anxious, and desperate for their love.
11. They want you to be their emotional punching bag.
Narcissists often have difficulty regulating their own emotions. They might lash out, rage, or verbally abuse you when they’re feeling frustrated, insecure, or threatened. This emotional dumping leaves you feeling drained, hurt, and responsible for their volatile moods.
12. They want you to doubt your own instincts and intuition.
Narcissists are skilled at manipulating your perception of reality. They might gaslight you, twist your words, or deny your experiences, making you question your own gut feelings and intuition. This self-doubt can make it harder to recognise their toxic behaviour and leave the relationship.
13. They want you to feel like you can’t live without them.
Narcissists often create a false sense of intimacy and connection, making you feel like they’re the only person who truly understands you. They might shower you with attention and affection, only to withdraw it later as a form of punishment or control. This emotional manipulation can make you feel like you need them to survive.
14. They want to drain your energy and resources.
Narcissists are often emotionally draining and demanding. They might expect you to cater to their every whim, prioritise their needs over your own, and constantly provide them with attention and validation. This constant emotional labour can leave you feeling exhausted and depleted.
15. They want to sabotage your success and happiness.
Narcissists often feel threatened by your accomplishments and happiness. They might belittle your achievements, undermine your goals, or create obstacles to prevent you from succeeding. This sabotage is a way for them to maintain their power and control over you.
16. They want to leave you feeling broken and discarded.
Ultimately, narcissists often discard their victims once they’ve served their purpose. This can be a devastating blow, leaving you feeling worthless, abandoned, and unsure of how to move forward. The narcissist’s ultimate goal is to leave you feeling broken and unable to thrive without them.
