If you can’t trust someone, you can’t have a healthy relationship with them.
That goes for romantic partners, friends, family members, and even colleagues. You need to know you can rely on someone to have your best interests at heart and to have your back 100%, and when you can’t, it’s hard to want to let your guard down and be close to them — and for good reason. Sadly, if they’re guilty of these behaviours, it’s clear they’re not the type of person you can confide in or depend on.
1. They dodge direct questions.
When you ask something straightforward, they always seem to wiggle their way out of giving a clear answer. This isn’t just a coincidence—it’s a calculated way to avoid being pinned down. Trustworthy people don’t need to dance around the truth.
2. They constantly “forget” important details.
If someone repeatedly claims they forgot something crucial—like plans you made or promises they gave—it could be more than absentmindedness. Selective memory is often a tactic to avoid accountability. You’ll notice their memory is sharp when it benefits them.
3. They love to gossip about other people.
If they’re spilling everyone else’s secrets, chances are they won’t hesitate to spill yours too. Gossiping is a big red flag because it shows they don’t value confidentiality. Someone who respects privacy wouldn’t make entertainment out of other people’s lives.
4. They’re overly charming when they want something.
Everyone loves a little charm, but when it’s turned on full blast every time they need a favour, it feels calculated. Their flattery might be less about admiration and more about manipulation. Genuine trust doesn’t rely on sweet-talking.
5. They avoid taking responsibility.
Whenever something goes wrong, they’re quick to point fingers or make excuses. If someone can’t own up to their mistakes, it’s a sign they’ll throw you under the bus when it suits them. Accountability and trust go hand in hand.
6. They’re overly secretive about small things.
Sure, everyone’s entitled to some privacy, but when someone guards even the tiniest details like it’s classified information, it feels suspicious. A lack of openness about the little stuff can hint at bigger trust issues.
7. They never follow through on their promises.
Whether it’s meeting deadlines, showing up on time, or following through on commitments, their lack of reliability is a warning sign. People who can’t be trusted often overpromise and underdeliver, leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces.
8. They shift the story when confronted.
If their version of events changes every time you bring something up, it’s a sign they’re not being honest. Trustworthy people stick to the truth, even when it’s uncomfortable. Constant backpedalling is their way of dodging accountability.
9. They thrive on drama.
If chaos seems to follow them everywhere, it might not be a coincidence. Stirring up drama is often a tactic to divert attention from their own questionable behaviour. Trustworthy people don’t need distractions to cover their tracks.
10. They’re too quick to agree with everyone.
Someone who agrees with every person they talk to might be trying to please rather than being genuine. It’s hard to trust someone who changes their stance depending on who they’re with. Consistency is key when it comes to trust.
11. They’re overly interested in your weaknesses.
When someone digs a little too deep into your vulnerabilities, it can feel like they’re storing up ammo for later. A trustworthy person would support you, not use your struggles against you. Watch for signs they’re collecting information with ulterior motives.
12. They make everything about themselves.
Even in situations that have nothing to do with them, they somehow find a way to centre themselves. Their self-centred behaviour shows a lack of empathy, which makes it hard to trust they’ll consider your needs.
13. They’re inconsistent in their words and actions.
If someone’s behaviour doesn’t match their words, it’s hard to know where they stand. Saying one thing and doing another is a clear indicator of unreliability. Trustworthy people align their actions with their promises.
14. They overshare about themselves.
While it might seem like openness, spilling every detail about their life can actually be a tactic to gain your trust quickly. It’s often a way to lower your guard while they remain in control of the narrative.
15. They’re always fishing for information.
When someone asks a lot of personal questions without reciprocating, it can feel like they’re gathering intel rather than trying to build a connection. Trustworthy people engage in balanced conversations, not interrogations.
16. They don’t respect your boundaries.
Whether it’s pushing you to share more than you’re comfortable with or ignoring your requests, a lack of respect for boundaries is a major red flag. Trust is built on mutual understanding, not on pressure or overstepping.
