Dealing with someone who thinks the sun shines out of their own backside can be a real headache.
While you can’t do much to dampen an egomaniac’s love for themselves, there are some things you can do to hopefully instil even the slightest bit of humility in them without them even realising what you’re doing. No guarantees on success here, but these methods are certainly worth a try.
1. Give credit where it’s due, but don’t go overboard.
Notice their good work and say something about it. Keep it real, though. A simple “nice job” does the trick. This way, they know you see their efforts, but you’re not making them feel like they’re above everyone else. Balanced recognition helps maintain a healthy team dynamic and encourages continued good performance without inflating egos.
2. Ask them about stuff they don’t know much about.
Bring up a topic they’re not an expert in and ask what they think. It might make them realise they don’t know everything. Plus, it could help them understand how it feels to be unsure about something. Going about things this way can encourage empathy and open-mindedness, which are crucial qualities for personal growth and effective collaboration.
3. Talk about times you messed up and what you learnt.
Share some stories about when things didn’t go your way. Tell them what you figured out from those experiences. It shows it’s okay not to be perfect and that everyone’s got room to grow. By being open about your own mistakes, you create a safe space for other people to acknowledge their own imperfections and learn from them.
4. Introduce them to people who are really good at different things.
Get them to meet people who excel in various areas. It could open their eyes to all the different kinds of talent out there. They might start to see that being good at one thing doesn’t make you the best at everything. Exposure to diverse expertise can broaden their perspective and appreciation for different skills and knowledge bases.
5. Let them know how their attitude affects other people.
Be straight with them about how their behaviour makes people feel. Use real examples, but don’t make it a personal attack. Focus on how their actions impact the group or the work environment. A bit of feedback can help them become more self-aware and considerate of their impact on other people.
6. Get them to teach someone who’s just starting out.
Suggest they help someone new learn the ropes. It might remind them of when they were just beginning. It could also show them that being patient and humble can make you a better leader. Teaching often reinforces the idea that knowledge is meant to be shared, not hoarded for personal gain.
7. Get them involved in helping out in the community.
Encourage them to do some volunteer work. It’s a great way to see different walks of life and appreciate what they have. It might shift their focus from themselves to how they can help people. Community service often provides a new perspective on one’s own privileges and the value of contributing to society.
8. Push them to try something totally new.
Nudge them towards picking up a new hobby or skill. Being a beginner again can be eye-opening. It might help them remember that everyone starts somewhere and that it takes time to get good at things. The vulnerability of being a novice can foster empathy and patience, qualities that counteract arrogance.
9. Use a bit of humour to lighten things up.
Crack a joke now and then to address their behaviour without making it too serious. A well-timed quip can get your point across without putting them on the defensive. Just make sure it’s not mean-spirited. Humour, when used wisely, can be a powerful tool for defusing tension and making important points in a non-threatening way.
10. Really listen to them and get them to do the same.
Show them what good listening looks like. Pay attention when they talk, and encourage them to hear other people out too. It might help them see the value in different points of view. Active listening promotes mutual respect and can lead to more balanced, productive conversations.
11. Give them honest feedback on their work.
When you see room for improvement in their work, speak up. Be fair — point out the good stuff and the things that need work. It shows that everyone, even top performers, can always get better. Constructive feedback, when delivered thoughtfully, can be a powerful tool for personal and professional growth.
12. Tell them about successful people who are down-to-earth.
Bring up some examples of big shots who are known for being humble. Talk about how being grounded has helped these people succeed and why people like them. It gives them a different kind of role model to look up to. These examples can illustrate that humility and success are not mutually exclusive, but often go hand in hand.
13. Get them thinking about how far they’ve come.
Ask them about the tough spots they’ve been through and what they’ve learnt along the way. It can remind them that they weren’t always on top and that growth is an ongoing thing. Reflecting on personal journeys often highlights the role of other people in our success, fostering gratitude and humility.
14. Set some ground rules for how you expect to be treated.
Be clear about what kind of behaviour is okay and what’s not. Stick to these rules and speak up calmly if they cross the line. It helps keep things fair and respectful between you two. Consistent boundaries create a more balanced and productive relationship, benefiting both parties in the long run.
15. Notice when they’re being humble and tell them it’s good.
When you catch them being modest or thoughtful, let them know you noticed. A bit of praise for good behaviour can encourage more of it. It’s a subtle way to steer them towards being more humble overall. Positive reinforcement of desirable behaviour can be a powerful tool for lasting change.
16. Suggest they think about what they’re grateful for.
Encourage them to take a moment each day to think about what they’re thankful for. It can help shift their focus from their own achievements to appreciating the people and things around them. Regular gratitude practice has been shown to increase empathy, reduce stress, and improve overall well-being.
