Not everyone has good intentions, and there are loads of people out there who will take advantage of your kindness, mistaking it for weakness.
If you’ve ever felt like you’re being walked over, you might have heard comments that suggest some people see you as a doormat. Here are a few things someone might say if they think they can push your boundaries — and what those phrases really mean. If you hear them often, don’t put up with it!
1. “You don’t mind, do you?”
Source: Pexels This is one of those sneaky questions that basically expects you to say yes, no matter what. It suggests that your feelings don’t matter and that you should just go along with whatever’s asked. People use this to get you to comply without actually giving you the chance to say no.
2. “You’re just too nice.”
At first, this sounds like a compliment, right? But really, it’s a subtle dig — implying that your kindness is a flaw they can take advantage of. It’s like they’re telling you to toughen up, knowing you probably won’t stand up for yourself. They’re banking on your niceness to let them walk all over you.
3. “I knew you’d be okay with it.”
This one’s all about assuming your consent without even asking. Whether it’s last-minute changes or extra tasks, they’re pretty sure you won’t say anything. It’s their way of pushing past your boundaries without you even realising it.
4. “You’re always so understanding.”
Being understanding is great, but sometimes people use this to get away with bad behaviour. They’re hoping you’ll excuse their actions, no matter how inconsiderate or hurtful. It’s a way to avoid taking responsibility for their actions.
5. “I figured you wouldn’t mind.”
Instead of checking with you, they just assume you’ll go along with whatever. This makes it seem like your preferences don’t matter, and you’re just expected to accommodate whatever comes up. They know you won’t protest, so they skip over asking.
6. “Can you do me a quick favour?”
It’s never a “quick” favour, is it? This is a tactic to soften the request, knowing you’ll probably hesitate to say no. They rely on your reluctance to refuse, making it easier to pile on tasks without considering your time or energy.
7. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
This sounds sweet, but sometimes it’s just a guilt trip to keep you in their corner. They’re trying to make you feel like you’re the only one who can help, so you’ll keep saying yes. It’s a subtle way to make you feel responsible for their problems.
8. “You’re such a people-pleaser.”
This might seem like a backhanded compliment, acknowledging that you’re helpful, but with a hint of criticism. They’re pointing out that you might be doing things for approval rather than because you want to. It’s a way to manipulate you into continuing to put everyone else’s needs before your own.
9. “I knew you wouldn’t say no.”
This phrase says it all — they’re relying on the fact that you’ll always say yes. It assumes you’re predictable and that you don’t have the strength to set boundaries. It makes it clear that they’re not respecting your ability to say no.
10. “You’re so easygoing.”
Being easygoing is a great trait, but it can be used to justify taking advantage of you. It implies that you’ll go along with whatever, even if it’s not fair or convenient for you. They’re counting on you to stay passive, making it easier for them to get what they want.
11. “I didn’t think you’d care.”
This one’s all about dismissing your feelings before you even have a chance to express them. It’s a way of brushing off your concerns, making it seem like you’re overreacting. They’re trying to minimise your voice before you even get to speak up.
12. “You’re always there when I need you.”
It sounds like appreciation, but it might actually be a sign they’re taking your support for granted. They expect you to always show up, no matter how much it costs you. It’s a subtle reminder that they’ve come to rely on you, perhaps too much.
13. “Don’t be like that.”
If you try to set a boundary or express frustration, this dismissive phrase is designed to make you feel bad. It suggests that standing up for yourself is unreasonable or “not cool.” It’s meant to make you back down and stay compliant.
14. “I thought you were cool with it.”
When you finally speak up, this is their way of shifting the blame onto you. They make it seem like you’re the one who’s being difficult for not addressing it earlier. It’s a way to avoid taking responsibility for crossing your boundaries.
15. “You’re the only one I can rely on.”
This might sound flattering, but it’s also a way of putting all the pressure on you. They’re making you feel like you’re their only option, so you’ll feel obligated to help. It’s their way of keeping you on the hook without stepping up to solve their own problems.
16. “I was just joking!”
If they say something hurtful, and you call them out on it, this is their way of brushing it off. It’s meant to make you feel like you’re overreacting, undermining your feelings. It’s a tactic to avoid accountability and keep you in a submissive role.
