As you hit middle age and above, it feels like you’re suddenly hit with a barrage of comments and unsolicited advice about “getting older.”
While some of the things people say might be coming from a good place, they can be tiresome and even inappropriate. After all, everyone’s experience of ageing definitely isn’t the same, and sometimes you don’t want to be constantly reminded of how old you are!
1. “You’re only as old as you feel.”
While it’s meant to be upbeat, this saying can come off as dismissive. Sure, attitude matters, but it doesn’t erase the very real physical changes that come with ageing. A positive outlook is great, but pretending like aches, pains, or slower recovery times don’t exist just makes people feel unheard.
2. “Have you considered dyeing your grey hair?”
Not everyone’s rushing to cover up those greys! A lot of people embrace the natural silver, and unsolicited comments about it can feel like you’re being told to hide your age. Whether someone decides to dye their hair or let it go grey is a personal decision — and no one needs a reminder of that.
3. “Aren’t you too old for that?”
Whether it’s about your style, hobbies, or a fun night out, being told you’re “too old” to enjoy something is just plain annoying. Why should age limit what you wear, do, or love? Life’s too short to be boxed in by what others think is “age-appropriate.”
4. “It’s all downhill from here.”
Yikes, talk about a mood killer! This pessimistic take isn’t just untrue—it’s downright demoralising. Plenty of people find that their 40s, 50s, and beyond are some of the best years of their lives. Ageing doesn’t mean life starts to suck; it just means things evolve.
5. “You should start thinking about retirement.”
Retirement might be on some people’s minds, but it’s not the focus for everyone. Some are just hitting their stride in their careers or even starting new ones! Assuming everyone’s ready to call it quits is limiting and doesn’t consider individual goals and passions. Plus, this is Britain, where the retirement age keeps going up and up. Unless you’re wealthy, retirement is a long way off for most middle-aged people.
6. “Aren’t you worried about being left on the shelf?”
For single people in their middle years, this comment stings. It implies that finding love has a deadline, or that being single is somehow sad. Plenty of people are happily single or don’t feel the need to rush into relationships just because of their age.
7. “You don’t look your age.”
This might be intended as a compliment, but it reinforces the idea that looking young is always better. It also suggests that looking your age is something to avoid, which isn’t exactly flattering. Ageing is natural, and there’s nothing wrong with looking like you’ve lived a little!
8. “It’s time to start acting your age.”
Source: Unsplash This phrase is basically a complete downer. Who gets to decide what’s “appropriate” for someone’s age anyway? Whether it’s how you dress, the activities you enjoy, or the risks you take, telling someone to “act their age” is just another way to box them into stereotypes.
9. “You’d better hurry up if you want to have children.”
Sure, many people had their kids years ago, but there are still some people who are starting families into their 40s. This one can hit hard for those who are undecided, having fertility struggles, or simply don’t want kids. It’s no one else’s business what your timeline is (or whether kids are even part of it). This kind of pressure is outdated and, frankly, pretty insensitive.
10. “It’s normal to gain weight as you get older.”
Source: Unsplash While metabolism might slow down with age, telling someone that weight gain is inevitable can feel discouraging. It disregards the fact that many people work hard to stay healthy and fit, regardless of age. Instead of accepting this as a fact of life, many are focused on staying active and feeling good.
11. “You’re having a midlife crisis.”
Not every decision to change things up is a “crisis.” Sometimes people just want to try new things or make big life changes — and that’s okay. Redecorating, getting a new hobby, or even buying that dream car doesn’t automatically mean you’re spiralling.
12. “Isn’t technology hard for your generation?”
Source: Unsplash This comment is based on the stereotype that older people can’t keep up with tech, which just isn’t true. Many middle-aged people are tech-savvy and have grown up adapting to new innovations. It’s time to ditch this outdated assumption.
13. “You should be settled by now.”
What does “settled” even mean? People in their 40s and 50s are changing careers, moving cities, starting businesses, and still figuring things out. The idea that you should have your entire life neatly wrapped up by middle age just doesn’t reflect today’s reality.
14. “Aren’t you worried about becoming irrelevant?”
Ouch! This question assumes that ageing means losing touch or value. But middle-aged people bring experience, wisdom, and relevance in all sorts of ways. Many feel more confident, secure, and influential as they get older. Age doesn’t make you irrelevant—it often makes you more insightful.
15. “You should start dressing more appropriately for your age.”
Fashion is personal, and there’s no rulebook that says you have to dress a certain way just because you hit a certain age. Telling someone to dress “their age” is not only rude but ignores their personal style, comfort, and confidence. Wear what makes you feel good, no matter what!
16. “Life begins at 40.”
While this is usually meant to be encouraging, it can also feel like you’re dismissing everything someone’s done before 40. Life doesn’t suddenly “begin” at any age; it’s a journey, and every part of it matters. Middle-aged people know that every stage of life brings something special, and it all counts.
