Dysfunctional relationships can be hard to recognise, especially when you’re in one.
What seems normal to you might actually be pretty unhealthy, even if you don’t want to admit it. If your partnership isn’t so great, you might notice these things cropping up on a regular basis, and if they do, it’s important to do something about it. Your relationship may not be good for you, and if it’s not, you probably need to get out of it.
1. You’re always on edge around your partner.
Do you feel like you’re constantly walking on thin ice at home? That’s not great. If you’re constantly worried about setting off your partner’s bad mood, something’s off. It’s exhausting to always be on high alert, and it’s definitely not what a healthy relationship looks like.
2. Your needs get brushed off regularly.
If your wants and needs keep getting pushed aside, that’s a problem. Maybe your partner acts like they forgot, or they’re too busy. Whatever the excuse, if it keeps happening, it’s chipping away at the trust between you two.
3. You feel like your partner’s emotional babysitter.
It’s not your job to manage someone else’s feelings all the time. If you’re always trying to keep your partner happy or calm, it’s probably wearing you out. Plus, it blurs the lines between where you end and they begin.
4. Criticism is dished out like it’s no big deal.
Constant put-downs, even if they’re dressed up as ‘just kidding’, aren’t okay. If you’re getting criticised left and right, and it’s passed off as normal, that’s a red flag. It can really mess with your self-esteem over time.
5. Your wins get downplayed or ignored.
Did you get a promotion? Finished a big project? If your partner shrugs it off or even tries to make it seem less impressive, that’s not cool. They might be feeling insecure, but that’s no excuse to rain on your parade.
6. Sharing your feelings often leads to a guilt trip.
You should be able to say how you feel without getting shut down. If talking about your emotions usually ends with you feeling guilty or ‘too sensitive’, that’s not right. It’s a sneaky way of dodging real issues in your relationship.
7. Your partner’s jealousy is passed off as caring.
A bit of jealousy is normal, but if it’s intense and constant, that’s trouble. It might seem like they just really love you, but it’s more about control. Before you know it, you might find yourself cut off from friends and family.
8. You’re always making excuses for how they act.
Catch yourself often explaining away your partner’s bad behaviour? To your friends, family, or even in your own head? It might be time to take a step back and look at why you’re doing that. It’s easy to fall into this habit when things aren’t great.
9. Your personal space keeps getting invaded.
Everyone needs some boundaries, right? If your partner keeps crossing lines you’ve set, whether it’s physical, emotional, or even checking your phone, that’s not okay. It shows a lack of respect and can make you feel like you don’t have any say in your own life.
10. You’re starting to forget who you are.
A good relationship shouldn’t mean losing yourself. If you’re constantly changing who you are — your likes, beliefs, or how you look — just to keep your partner happy, something’s off. You shouldn’t have to be a different person to be loved.
11. Arguments go round and round without ever getting sorted.
Every couple argues, but if you’re having the same fights over and over without ever fixing anything, that’s a problem. It just builds up resentment and makes you feel stuck. Good relationships involve actually working things out.
12. Getting the silent treatment is a regular thing.
If your partner clams up every time they’re upset, that’s not fair. The silent treatment is just a way to punish you and make you anxious. It’s not how grown-ups should handle problems.
13. You feel like there’s no way out of the relationship.
Feeling trapped is a big warning sign. Whether it’s because of money, emotional blackmail, or just plain fear, staying in a relationship because you feel you have to, not because you want to, isn’t right.
14. Your home’s vibe depends entirely on your partner’s mood.
If everyone at home is tiptoeing around based on how one person feels, that’s not healthy. It creates a tense atmosphere where everyone else’s feelings get pushed aside to deal with one person’s moods.
15. Conversations often leave you feeling mixed up.
Do you often end up questioning your own memory or sanity after talking to your partner? That might be gaslighting. It’s a nasty trick that makes you doubt yourself and is seriously not okay.
16. Your relationship feels more like a contest than a team effort.
If you and your partner are always trying to one-up each other or compete for attention, that’s not great. Good relationships are about working together, not trying to beat each other. It’s supposed to be you two against the world, not against each other.
