16 Things To Say To Get Your Ex Back (That Actually Work)

Trying to win your ex back after a breakup is messy, complicated, and not always successful.

But hey, if your heart’s set on it, it’s worth a shot, right? Just remember, there’s no magic formula, and it all depends on the situation. If you’re set on giving it a try, here are a few phrases that might just spark a conversation, open the door to reconciliation, or at the very least, let your ex know you’re thinking of them.

1. “I’ve been thinking about you lately and wanted to see how you’re doing.”

This is a simple, non-threatening way to reach out and show that you care. It doesn’t immediately jump into wanting to get back together, but it opens the door for a conversation and allows you to gauge their reaction. It shows that you’re not just trying to rekindle the romance but are genuinely interested in their well-being. It’s a good starting point for a deeper conversation.

2. “I miss our conversations and the way we used to connect.”

Reminiscing about the good times can evoke positive emotions and remind your ex of what they enjoyed about being with you. It focuses on the emotional connection you shared, which can be a powerful motivator for reconciliation. It also shows that you value the deeper aspects of your relationship, not just the physical attraction or shared activities.

3. “I’ve learned a lot from our relationship, and I’m grateful for the time we spent together.”

Acknowledging the positive aspects of your past relationship shows maturity and growth. It demonstrates that you’ve taken time to reflect on your experiences and appreciate the lessons learned. This can be particularly effective if the breakup was due to your own mistakes or shortcomings. It shows that you’ve taken responsibility for your part and are willing to make changes.

4. “I’m truly sorry for the hurt I caused you.”

A sincere apology can go a long way in healing wounds and rebuilding trust. It shows that you acknowledge the pain you caused your ex and that you regret your actions. Be specific about what you’re sorry for, avoid making excuses or justifying your behaviour, and express your genuine desire to make amends. It’s important to be honest and heartfelt in your apology, as insincerity can be easily detected and will only push your ex further away.

5. “I understand if you need space, but I wanted you to know I’m here if you ever want to talk.”

Respecting their boundaries and giving them space is crucial, especially if the breakup was recent or caused by significant hurt. This phrase shows that you’re not trying to pressure them into anything, but that you’re still available if they want to reconnect. It allows them to process their emotions at their own pace and reach out to you when they’re ready. It’s a gesture of goodwill and demonstrates your understanding of their needs.

6. “I’ve been working on myself and making positive changes.”

If the breakup was due to personal issues or unhealthy behaviours on your part, showcasing your personal growth can be a powerful motivator for reconciliation. It demonstrates that you’re not the same person you were before, that you’ve taken steps to improve yourself, and that you’re committed to becoming a better partner. Be specific about the changes you’ve made, whether it’s therapy, self-reflection, or new habits. This can give your ex hope that things could be different this time around.

7. “I still care about you deeply and want you to be happy.”

This phrase expresses your genuine concern for their well-being and happiness, even if it’s not with you. It shows that you’re not motivated by selfishness or a need to win them back at any cost. It also opens the door for a friendship or a potential reconciliation in the future. Sometimes, the best way to get an ex back is to let them go and focus on being a supportive friend.

8. “I’m not asking for anything right now, but I wanted to let you know how I feel.”

This phrase removes any pressure or expectations from the conversation. It simply expresses your feelings and allows your ex to process them without feeling obligated to respond or reciprocate. It’s a vulnerable and honest approach that can open the door to a deeper conversation in the future. It shows that you’re willing to be patient and respect their decision, whatever it may be.

9. “I’m willing to put in the effort to make things work.”

This demonstrates commitment and a willingness to invest in the relationship. It shows that you’re not just looking for a quick fix, but are ready to put in the work required to rebuild trust and connection. Be prepared to back up your words with actions, whether it’s couples therapy, open communication, or simply making more time for each other. This phrase can be particularly effective if the breakup was due to a lack of effort or commitment on your part.

10. “I realise I took you for granted, and I want to make it up to you.”

If you neglected your ex or didn’t appreciate them enough, this phrase acknowledges your mistakes and expresses a desire to make amends. It’s a humbling gesture that can resonate with your ex, especially if they felt undervalued in the relationship. Be specific about the ways you took them for granted, and offer concrete examples of how you plan to show your appreciation and make them feel valued in the future.

11. “I’ve missed your smile/laugh/the way you make me feel.”

Compliments can be powerful, especially when they’re genuine and specific. Focusing on something unique and endearing about your ex can remind them of the positive aspects of your relationship. It shows that you’ve been paying attention to the little things that make them special and that you genuinely miss their presence in your life.

12. “I respect your decision, but I wanted to let you know my feelings haven’t changed.”

If your ex has moved on or is hesitant about reconciliation, this phrase respects their decision while also expressing your continued feelings. It shows that you’re not trying to pressure them or manipulate their emotions. It also leaves the door open for a potential future reconciliation, as it demonstrates your willingness to wait and respect their timeline.

13. “I’m here for you, no matter what you decide.”

This phrase offers unconditional support and friendship, regardless of whether your ex chooses to get back together with you. It shows that you genuinely care about them and want them to be happy, even if it means letting them go. This can be a powerful message, as it demonstrates your selflessness and maturity. It also leaves a positive lasting impression, even if reconciliation isn’t in the cards right now.

14. “I’ve been reflecting on our time together, and I realise we had something special.”

Reminiscing about the unique bond you shared can rekindle fond memories and emotions. It highlights the special connection that existed between you and reminds your ex of the good times. It’s a subtle way to tug at their heartstrings and make them reconsider their decision. It’s important to be genuine and avoid exaggerating or idealising the past. Focus on the real, meaningful aspects of your relationship that made it special.

15. “I want to make things right between us, if you’re willing to give me another chance.”

This phrase is a direct and honest expression of your desire for reconciliation. It acknowledges that things went wrong, but also conveys your willingness to make amends and try again. It’s important to be sincere and avoid empty promises or manipulative tactics. Only use this phrase if you truly believe you can change and are committed to making the relationship work this time around.

16. “I’m not the same person I was before, and I’m ready to prove it to you.”

This phrase shows that you’ve grown and learned from your past mistakes. It demonstrates that you’re not the same person who hurt or disappointed your ex, and that you’re ready to be a better partner. It’s important to back up your words with actions, showing your ex that you’ve truly changed and are committed to building a healthier and happier relationship.