It’s funny how there are likely things your parents said to you when you were a kid that you can still recall in crystal clear detail today.
Sometimes it’s positive stuff — praise and reinforcement, or maybe congratulations when you achieved something you worked hard for — but other times, it’s toxic things that knocked your confidence, made you feel bad, or caused you to doubt yourself. Here are some of the most common phrases that stick with you long after you’ve grown up.
1. “Why can’t you be more like your sister?”
It feels like a blow at the dinner table, setting up a quiet rivalry that can last a lifetime. What might seem like a frustrated attempt to encourage better behaviour often turns into a lifelong feeling of measuring yourself against other people. Instead of helping, these comparisons tend to create adults who constantly question their own worth.
2. “I’m only doing this because I love you.”
Often said after a punishment or moment of control, this phrase links love with hurt, teaching kids that affection can come with pain. As they grow up, these kids may struggle to understand healthy boundaries in relationships, thinking that love and discomfort go hand in hand.
3. “Stop being so sensitive.”
Whether it’s over hurt feelings or tears from a tough moment, being told to toughen up often leads kids to feel like their emotions aren’t valid. Feeling dismissed creates adults who apologise for their natural reactions and feel like they should hide their emotions rather than honour them.
4. “You’ll understand when you’re older.”
Kids feel brushed off when their feelings are chalked up to “immaturity” or lack of understanding. Being told their emotions are temporary or unimportant leaves a lasting impression that their thoughts don’t count, creating adults who doubt their right to feel things in the moment.
5. “I’ll give you something to cry about.”
Hearing this when you’re already upset sends a confusing message that crying is somehow wrong or deserving of punishment. This kind of response teaches kids to keep their feelings bottled up to avoid more pain, leading to adults who feel it’s unsafe to show vulnerability.
6. “You’re just like your father/mother.”
When said in disappointment, this comment can feel like a weight. Kids hear not only the words but also the resentment or frustration in the tone. It can lead them to feel as though they’re destined to carry the faults of a parent, making self-acceptance a struggle as they grow older.
7. “Because I said so.”
When kids ask “why” and get hit with this response, it shuts down natural curiosity and the chance to understand the world around them. Instead of teaching understanding, it teaches compliance or resistance, creating adults who either follow authority without question or automatically rebel.
8. “You’ll never amount to anything.”
Even if said in a moment of anger, words like this stick. That offhand comment about “not amounting to much” can echo in the mind, becoming an internal voice of doubt. These words can lead adults to question every success, wondering when they’ll finally fall short.
9. “I wish you were never born.”
Few things can cut deeper than hearing something like this from a parent. Even if it’s taken back later, the damage is done. This ultimate rejection can leave kids with wounds that follow them into adulthood, leading them to feel like they constantly need to prove their worth.
10. “You make me so unhappy.”
Telling a child they’re responsible for an adult’s happiness places an unfair burden on their shoulders. They grow up feeling guilty for normal behaviours and become adults who believe they’re responsible for everyone else’s feelings, constantly trying to keep the peace at their own expense.
11. “We’ll talk about this when you calm down.”
Hearing this teaches kids that their feelings are a barrier to communication rather than part of it. They end up believing that they need to suppress their emotions to be taken seriously, creating adults who wait for “perfect” composure before speaking up.
12. “Wait until your father/mother gets home.”
One parent becomes the looming threat, with punishment hanging over them all day. This approach can make kids feel constantly anxious about consequences, leading to adults who fear authority and live in constant worry over what might go wrong.
13. “You’re so dramatic.”
Dismissing big emotions as “drama” sends the message that feelings aren’t valid unless they’re toned down. It leads to adults who feel they need to downplay their emotions to be accepted, often struggling with expressing themselves for fear of being seen as “too much.”
14. “I gave up everything for you.”
Sacrifices become a debt that children feel they can never fully repay. This feeling of indebtedness turns care into a burden, creating adults who feel uncomfortable accepting help and who constantly feel they owe something back for any kindness they receive.
15. “This is why nobody likes you.”
Social struggles are normal for kids, but when they’re met with comments like this, they can feel like there’s something inherently wrong with them. These words can lead to adults who are always seeking approval, interpreting every bit of social friction as proof that they’re unworthy of connection.
16. “You’re getting too big for your boots.”
Confidence, pride, and growth get labelled as “showing off,” teaching kids that their successes are something to hide. This comment creates adults who minimise their accomplishments, feeling uncomfortable in the spotlight and hesitant to own their achievements.
