You’re really clever and have a lot of valuable insights, but not everyone is going to see that.
In fact, if you’re someone who doesn’t show off or make a big scene about how intelligent you are, people might assume the opposite. It’s not fair, and it might not even make sense, but if you notice these things happening, it’s clear someone thinks you’re not very smart. Try not to lose your cool over it!
1. They constantly explain simple things to you.
If they’re always giving you detailed explanations about things you already know, it might be a sign they think you can’t keep up. There’s a fine line between being helpful and being condescending. If they assume you need everything broken down, it shows they doubt your understanding.
2. They interrupt or talk over you.
When someone consistently cuts you off mid-sentence, it signals that they don’t value your thoughts or assume you have nothing worthwhile to say. Interrupting can be their way of asserting dominance or dismissing your input, which is both rude and frustrating.
3. They avoid discussing complex topics with you.
If they steer conversations away from deeper subjects or avoid engaging you in thoughtful discussions, they might think you won’t understand. It’s hurtful when people assume you can’t handle complexity without giving you the chance to prove otherwise.
4. They’re surprised when you say something insightful.
Do they raise their eyebrows or say, “Wow, I never thought you’d know that!” when you share a clever idea? Their surprise can be a dead giveaway that they didn’t expect you to say anything smart. It’s a subtle but stinging form of underestimation.
5. They dismiss your opinions quickly.
When you share your thoughts, and they brush them off without consideration, it shows they don’t value your perspective. Instead of engaging with what you’re saying, they might give a quick “Hmm” or change the topic entirely. It’s frustrating when your voice isn’t taken seriously.
6. They speak to you in a patronising tone.
If they use a slow, overly simple, or condescending tone, it can feel like they’re talking to a child, not an equal. This tone implies they think you can’t keep up or need things dumbed down for you. It’s not just what they say, but *how* they say it that makes it hurtful.
7. They don’t ask for your input.
When decisions are being made or ideas are being discussed, and no one turns to you for input, it can feel isolating. It signals they don’t believe your opinions are valuable or that you have anything to contribute. Being left out of the conversation stings.
8. They correct you constantly.
Everyone makes mistakes, but if they jump at every opportunity to correct you — even for minor errors — it shows they’re looking for faults. This constant nitpicking can make you feel like they’re trying to prove they’re smarter than you.
9. They joke about your intelligence.
Humour can be fun, but if their jokes repeatedly poke at your intelligence, it’s not so funny anymore. Phrases like “Classic you!” or “You wouldn’t get it” might seem playful, but when they’re frequent, they chip away at your confidence. It’s not a joke if it hurts.
10. They explain things *you’re* an expert in.
If they start explaining something you know inside and out, it’s a sign they underestimate you. Known as “mansplaining” (or just plain “condescending”), this behaviour assumes you lack knowledge, even in your areas of expertise. It can feel infuriatingly dismissive.
11. They simplify their vocabulary around you.
Do they avoid using “big words” when speaking to you, but use them freely with other people? If they simplify their language, it can signal they think you won’t understand more complex terms. This habit can feel like they’re underestimating your comprehension.
12. They don’t make eye contact during conversations.
If they avoid making eye contact while you’re talking, it can be a sign they don’t take you seriously. Eye contact shows engagement and respect; avoiding it might mean they’re dismissive or uninterested in what you have to say.
13. They ask other people to verify what you say.
If they double-check your statements with someone else, it signals they don’t trust your knowledge or judgment. This lack of trust can be frustrating and demoralising, especially if you know you’re right. It feels like they’re constantly second-guessing you.
14. They seem bored when you speak.
If they glaze over, check their phone, or look around the room when you’re talking, it’s a sign they don’t value what you have to say. This behaviour suggests they think your thoughts aren’t worth their attention, which can feel incredibly invalidating.
15. They give you the “pity nod.”
You know the one — that slow, condescending nod paired with a smile that says, “Oh, bless you for trying.” It’s not genuine encouragement; it’s a subtle way of making you feel inferior. This dismissive gesture can be more hurtful than outright criticism.
16. They avoid asking you for help.
When they need advice, answers, or a hand with something, they never come to you. If they always want someone else’s help, it can feel like they doubt your competence. Being overlooked for help suggests they don’t believe you’re capable, which can sting deeply.
