Dealing with a selfish partner can be draining, frustrating, and leave you feeling unappreciated.
It’s a tricky situation to navigate, but it’s not impossible to find ways to manage it and even improve the relationship. It takes open communication, self-care, and a good dose of patience. Here are some practical and realistic ways to handle the situation without losing your mind.
1. Recognise the signs of selfishness.
Sometimes, it’s easy to brush off inconsiderate behaviour, especially in the honeymoon phase of a relationship. But pay attention to recurring patterns: Do they consistently prioritise their needs and desires over yours? Do they rarely consider your feelings or opinions? If so, you might be dealing with a selfish partner.
2. Acknowledge your feelings.
It’s normal to feel hurt, angry, or resentful when you’re in a relationship with a selfish person. Don’t bottle up these emotions; acknowledge them and allow yourself to feel them. Ignoring your feelings will only lead to resentment and further strain the relationship.
3. Communicate openly and honestly.
Talk to your partner about how their behaviour is affecting you. Be specific about the instances where you felt their actions were selfish, and explain how it made you feel. Avoid accusations and focus on expressing your needs and expectations.
4. Set clear boundaries.
Establishing clear boundaries is essential in any relationship, but especially when dealing with a selfish partner. Communicate your limits and expectations clearly and firmly. Don’t be afraid to say “no” when you need to put yourself first.
5. Don’t enable their selfishness.
It can be tempting to cater to your partner’s every whim to avoid conflict, but this will only reinforce their selfish behaviour. Learn to say no and stand up for yourself.
6. Focus on self-care.
When you’re in a relationship with a selfish person, it’s important to take extra care of yourself. Make time for activities that bring you joy and help you recharge. Looking after yourself first and foremost will give you the strength to deal with the challenges of the relationship.
7. Encourage them to seek help.
If your partner’s selfishness stems from deeper issues, encourage them to seek professional help. A therapist can help them understand the root of their behaviour and develop healthier coping mechanisms.
8. Don’t take it personally.
Remember that your partner’s selfishness is not a reflection of your worth. Their behaviour is their responsibility, not yours. Don’t blame yourself or internalise their actions.
9. Celebrate the small victories.
Even small changes in your partner’s behaviour can be a cause for celebration. Acknowledge their efforts and express your appreciation. Positive reinforcement can go a long way in encouraging them to continue making positive changes.
10. Reassess the relationship regularly.
It’s important to regularly evaluate the relationship and assess whether it’s meeting your needs. If your partner is unwilling to change or their selfishness is causing significant distress, it may be time to reconsider the future of the relationship.
11. Seek support from friends and family.
Talk to trusted friends and family members about what you’re going through. They can offer valuable support and perspective. Don’t be afraid to reach out for help when you need it.
12. Don’t give up on the relationship too quickly.
Change takes time and effort. If you believe in the relationship and your partner is willing to work on their selfishness, don’t give up too easily. Be patient and supportive, but also be realistic about your expectations.
13. Focus on the positive aspects of the relationship.
While dealing with a selfish partner can be challenging, try to focus on the positive aspects of the relationship. Remind yourself of the reasons why you’re with them and the good times you’ve shared. This can help you maintain perspective and stay hopeful for the future.
14. Don’t try to change them.
You can’t force someone to change, even if you love them. The only person you can control is yourself. Focus on setting boundaries, communicating your needs, and taking care of yourself.
15. Find healthy ways to express your frustration.
It’s normal to feel frustrated when dealing with a selfish partner. Find healthy outlets for your emotions, such as exercise, journaling, or talking to a therapist. Avoid taking your frustration out on your partner or engaging in unhealthy coping mechanisms.
16. Remember that you deserve to be happy.
Don’t settle for a relationship that makes you feel unappreciated or unfulfilled. You deserve to be with someone who values you and your needs. If your partner’s selfishness is consistently causing you pain, it may be time to move on.
