Toxic people can be incredibly draining — if you let them.
The cleverest people know that dealing with manipulative, negative, and otherwise unpleasant people isn’t as simple as ignoring them or pretending like the behaviour isn’t a big deal. Instead, they approach the situation from these angles, which not only saves their time and energy, but also their sanity.
1. They set clear boundaries.
Smart people don’t leave things open to interpretation when it comes to toxic behaviour. They’re firm about what’s okay and what’s not—whether it’s limiting contact, setting boundaries on how much time they’ll give, or even creating emotional distance. They understand that boundaries are key to protecting themselves and reducing unnecessary stress.
2. They don’t get sucked into pointless arguments.
Toxic people love drama, and a heated argument is their playground, but clever ones know better than to engage in every debate. They save their energy by stepping back from unnecessary conflicts, knowing that some arguments just aren’t worth having. They’ll respond calmly or not at all, leaving the other person without fuel for their fire.
3. They keep their emotions in check.
It’s easy to get caught up in someone else’s negativity, but smart people keep a healthy distance. They don’t let themselves get too emotionally involved with someone who thrives on chaos. By staying detached, they protect themselves from being drained or manipulated, keeping their own peace intact.
4. They focus on finding solutions.
Instead of getting bogged down in negativity, clever people steer conversations towards solving problems. They know that dwelling on complaints just feeds the toxic behaviour, so they try to redirect the focus to what can be done to make things better. This way, they keep the conversation productive and avoid getting sucked into the toxic person’s complaints.
5. They use the “grey rock” method.
When dealing with someone toxic, smart people often go full “grey rock.” They’ll make themselves as boring and unreactive as possible—no drama, no emotional responses. By being dull and unengaging, they take away the toxic person’s ammunition, making them less likely to keep poking for a reaction.
6. They make self-care a priority.
Clever people understand that dealing with toxic people can take a toll, so they make sure to recharge. Whether it’s through exercise, hobbies, or just some quiet time, they do what they need to do to stay mentally and emotionally healthy. This helps them stay resilient when facing negativity.
7. They surround themselves with positive people.
Having a supportive network is essential when dealing with toxicity. Smart people balance out the bad by nurturing relationships with positive, uplifting friends and family. These connections provide a much-needed reminder of how healthy, respectful relationships should be.
8. They keep receipts — literally.
In situations where they can’t fully escape a toxic person, like at work, smart people document everything. They make note of problematic behaviour, keeping detailed records just in case they need to escalate the issue later. It’s a way of protecting themselves if things go too far, and they need to back up their claims.
9. They use humour to lighten the mood sometimes.
Humour can be a clever tool for defusing tension, and witty people know how to use it. A well-timed joke or light-hearted comment can help steer a toxic interaction into less harmful territory. It’s a way to stay in control without escalating the situation.
10. They stay mindful.
Mindfulness is key when dealing with toxic people. Smart people stay present and aware of their own emotions so they don’t get swept up in someone else’s negativity. By practising mindfulness, they’re better able to choose how they react, keeping their responses calm and measured.
11. They don’t take toxic behaviour personally.
Clever people recognise that toxic behaviour usually says more about the other person than it does about them. They don’t internalise the insults or manipulation, knowing that it’s the toxic person’s own issues playing out. This helps them stay grounded and not let someone else’s drama affect their self-worth.
12. They limit the time they spend with toxic people.
If they can’t avoid the person entirely, smart people set time limits. Whether it’s keeping conversations brief or planning an easy exit from social situations, they’re strategic about not letting these interactions drag on. By controlling the amount of time they’re exposed to toxicity, they protect their energy.
13. They use ‘I’ statements to avoid unnecessary drama.
When they do need to address issues, clever people are careful with their words. Instead of accusing or blaming the other person, they focus on their own feelings with “I” statements, like “I feel uncomfortable when this happens.” It’s a way to communicate without coming across as confrontational, making it harder for the toxic person to argue back.
14. They redirect conversations.
Toxic people love to dwell on negativity, but smart ones know how to steer conversations away from the drama. They’ll shift the topic to something more neutral or positive, subtly guiding the conversation in a healthier direction. It’s like dodging emotional landmines and keeping things civil.
15. They practise empathy, but with limits.
Clever people understand the importance of empathy but don’t let it become a weakness. They might try to understand the toxic person’s perspective, but they don’t excuse bad behaviour. It’s all about balance: they can be compassionate without sacrificing their own well-being.
16. They know when to walk away.
Sometimes, the best move is to walk away. Smart people know when a relationship or situation is beyond repair and aren’t afraid to cut ties when it’s necessary. They value their own mental health enough to let go, even when it’s difficult. It’s a tough call, but prioritising their own peace always comes first.
