Maybe it’s a little white lie or a full-blown fabrication, but the jig is up, and they’ve been caught red-handed.
Now, you’d think they’d come clean, but that’s not always the case. Some people, when cornered, start digging a deeper hole for themselves. Here are some of the classic moves liars pull when they’re busted.
1. They deflect and shift the blame.
Source: Unsplash Instead of owning up to their lie, they try to turn the tables and make it someone else’s fault. Suddenly, it’s your fault for not understanding them correctly or someone else’s fault for misleading them. It’s a classic tactic to avoid taking responsibility and shift the focus away from their own dishonesty.
2. They get angry and defensive.
When confronted with the truth, some liars react with anger and aggression. They might raise their voice, become verbally abusive, or even resort to physical intimidation. This is a way to deflect attention from their lie and make you feel uncomfortable or intimidated enough to back down.
3. They try to gaslight you.
This is a particularly insidious tactic where the liar tries to make you doubt your own perception of reality. They might deny saying or doing something, even if you have evidence to the contrary. They might try to convince you that you’re misremembering or imagining things. This is a manipulative tactic designed to make you question your own sanity and undermine your confidence.
4. They minimise the importance of the lie.
They might try to downplay the significance of their lie, claiming it was just a “little white lie” or that it “doesn’t really matter.” This is a way to avoid facing the consequences of their actions and to make you feel like you’re overreacting. But remember, even small lies can destroy trust and damage relationships.
5. They offer elaborate excuses and justifications.
They might come up with a convoluted story to explain their lie, often involving a series of unfortunate events or misunderstandings. These excuses might sound plausible at first, but upon closer inspection, they often fall apart. This is a desperate attempt to avoid admitting the truth and maintain their façade of honesty.
6. They change the subject or create a distraction.
When confronted with their lie, they might abruptly change the subject, bring up an unrelated issue, or create a distraction to divert your attention. This is a classic tactic to avoid answering your questions or facing the consequences of their actions. It’s a way to keep you off balance and maintain control of the situation.
7. They become overly emotional or play the victim.
Some liars will try to manipulate your emotions by bursting into tears, feigning hurt or betrayal, or playing the victim. They might try to make you feel guilty for questioning them or accusing them of lying. This is a way to avoid taking responsibility and to shift the focus onto your supposed insensitivity or lack of trust.
8. They promise to change but never follow through.
They might beg for your forgiveness, promise to never lie again, and swear they’ve learned their lesson. But their actions rarely match their words. They might continue to lie or engage in other deceitful behaviours, leaving you feeling frustrated and betrayed. Empty promises are a hallmark of a habitual liar.
9. They attack your character or credibility.
Instead of addressing the lie, they might try to discredit you by attacking your character, questioning your motives, or bringing up your own past mistakes. This is a defensive tactic designed to shift the focus away from their own dishonesty and make you feel like the bad guy. Don’t let them derail the conversation or undermine your confidence.
10. They refuse to provide evidence or proof.
When you ask for evidence to support their claims, they might become evasive, claim they don’t have any proof, or accuse you of being paranoid or distrustful. This is a way to avoid accountability and maintain their version of events, even if it’s based on lies or deception.
11. They try to bribe or manipulate you with gifts or favours.
Some liars will try to buy your silence or forgiveness with gifts, favours, or promises of future good behaviour. This is a manipulative tactic designed to make you feel obligated to them or to overlook their dishonesty. Don’t let material possessions or empty promises cloud your judgment.
12. They isolate you from others who might expose their lies.
They might try to limit your contact with friends, family, or colleagues who might see through their lies or challenge their version of events. They might create a sense of dependency, making you feel like you can only rely on them for information and support. This is a controlling tactic designed to keep you in the dark and maintain their power over you.
13. They become increasingly secretive and evasive.
Once their initial lie is exposed, they might become even more secretive and guarded. They might avoid answering your questions directly, offer vague or contradictory explanations, or simply refuse to talk about the issue. This is a way to protect their lies and prevent you from uncovering the full extent of their deception.
14. They try to rewrite history or create a false narrative.
They might try to reinterpret past events or conversations to fit their current narrative, even if it means distorting the truth or contradicting themselves. They might try to convince you that you misunderstood them or that they never said or did certain things. This is a way to create confusion and doubt, making it harder for you to hold them accountable.
15. They project their own guilt or shame onto you.
They might accuse you of being the one who’s lying, cheating, or behaving badly. They might try to make you feel guilty or ashamed for questioning them or doubting their honesty. This is a classic psychological defence mechanism called projection, where they’re deflecting their own negative feelings onto you.
16. They refuse to take responsibility and continue to lie.
Ultimately, the most frustrating and damaging behaviour is when a liar refuses to acknowledge their wrongdoing and continues to lie, even when confronted with overwhelming evidence. This shows a lack of remorse, integrity, and respect for you and the relationship. It’s a clear sign that they’re not willing to change or make amends, and it might be time to reconsider the future of the relationship.
