Sometimes loneliness can sneak up on you out of nowhere, and it can be overwhelming.
However, while it’s completely normal to feel a bit isolated and alone at times, those feelings tend to fade. If they’re sticking around long-term, it could be because you’re doing certain things to make your loneliness worse. Here are some bad habits to break if you want to feel more connected.
1. You’re constantly scrolling through social media.
It’s easy to fall into the trap of endlessly scrolling through Instagram or Facebook, thinking it’ll make you feel more connected. In reality, this habit often leaves you feeling worse. You’re bombarded with carefully curated highlights of other people’s lives, leading to unrealistic comparisons and a sense of missing out. Try limiting your social media use and focus on real-world interactions instead.
2. You’ve stopped putting effort into your appearance.
When you’re feeling lonely, it’s tempting to let yourself go a bit. Maybe you’ve stopped doing your hair or wear the same comfy clothes day after day. While it might seem harmless, neglecting your appearance can impact your self-esteem and make you less likely to socialise. Taking care of yourself isn’t vanity—it’s self-respect and can boost your confidence to actually engage with people.
3. You’re turning down invitations because you’re afraid of awkward situations.
Fear of social awkwardness can lead to declining invitations, even when you’re craving company. You might worry about not knowing what to say or feeling out of place. Remember, most people feel a bit awkward in new social situations. Pushing through this discomfort and accepting invitations can lead to new connections and experiences that combat loneliness.
4. You’re keeping your living space in a state of disarray.
A messy home can be both a symptom and a cause of loneliness. When you’re feeling isolated, it’s easy to let things pile up. But a cluttered space can make you reluctant to invite people over, reinforcing your isolation. Taking small steps to tidy up can make your home more welcoming—both for yourself and potential visitors.
5. You’re avoiding activities you used to enjoy because you don’t have anyone to do them with.
Perhaps you’ve stopped going to the cinema or trying new restaurants because you don’t have a companion. This self-imposed restriction can lead to a cycle of boredom and increased loneliness. Rediscover the joy of solo activities—you might even meet like-minded people along the way.
6. You’re relying too heavily on alcohol or comfort food to cope.
It’s common to turn to alcohol or comfort eating when feeling lonely. While these might provide temporary relief, they often lead to feelings of guilt and can negatively impact your health. Instead, try healthier coping mechanisms like exercise or meditation, which can improve your mood and make you more open to social interactions.
7. You’re not making an effort to maintain long-distance friendships.
With busy lives, it’s easy to let long-distance friendships fade. But these connections are valuable and worth maintaining. Regular video calls, messages, or even old-fashioned letters can help keep these relationships alive. Don’t underestimate the power of these connections in combating loneliness, even from afar.
8. You’re spending too much time working or studying.
Burying yourself in work or studies might seem productive, but it can lead to social isolation. While it’s important to be dedicated, balance is key. Make sure to carve out time for social activities and hobbies that allow you to interact with people outside of your professional or academic life.
9. You’re not being honest about your feelings with friends and family.
When people ask how you’re doing, it’s tempting to say “I’m fine” even when you’re not. Being vulnerable and honest about your feelings can be scary, but it’s essential for building deeper connections. Sharing your true emotions with trusted friends or family members can lead to more meaningful support and understanding.
10. You’re avoiding new experiences because they feel daunting.
Sticking to familiar routines might feel safe, but it limits your opportunities to meet new people and expand your horizons. Trying new experiences—whether it’s a cooking class, a local meetup group, or a volunteer opportunity—can introduce you to like-minded individuals and combat feelings of loneliness.
11. You’re not setting boundaries in your relationships.
Ironically, not setting healthy boundaries can lead to loneliness. You might agree to things you don’t want to do out of fear of losing connections. This can lead to resentment and unfulfilling relationships. Learning to say no and expressing your needs can actually strengthen your relationships and reduce feelings of isolation.
12. You’re neglecting your physical health.
Source: Unsplash When feeling lonely, it’s easy to neglect your physical health. Skipping exercise, not getting enough sleep, or eating poorly can all contribute to low mood and energy, making it harder to socialise. Taking care of your body can boost your mood and energy levels, making you more likely to socialise/interact with people more.
13. You’re not practising self-compassion.
Source: Unsplash Being overly critical of yourself can intensify feelings of loneliness. Negative self-talk can make you feel unworthy of connection and lead to self-isolation. Practice treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend. Self-compassion can improve your self-esteem and make you more open to forming connections.
14. You’re avoiding confrontation at all costs.
Source: Unsplash If you’re constantly avoiding conflict to keep the peace, you might be preventing yourself from forming genuine connections. Healthy relationships involve working through disagreements. Learning to handle conflict in a constructive way can lead to deeper, more authentic relationships that combat loneliness.
15. You’re not pursuing your passions and interests.
Source: Unsplash Neglecting your hobbies and interests can lead to a sense of emptiness and disconnection. Engaging in activities you’re passionate about brings personal fulfilment and provides opportunities to connect with people who share your interests. Don’t let loneliness stop you from pursuing what you love.
16. You’re waiting for other people to make the first move.
Source: Unsplash Always waiting for everyone else to initiate contact or make plans can leave you feeling isolated. Take the initiative to reach out to friends, suggest meetups, or organise gatherings. Being proactive in your social life can lead to more frequent and meaningful interactions, helping to alleviate feelings of loneliness.
