17 Behaviors That Can Make Someone Toxic To Be Around

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Some people who seem to leave a trail of negativity in their wake.

You know the type—the ones who drain your energy and make you feel worse after interacting with them. While the term “toxic” gets thrown around a lot, it’s important to understand the specific behaviours that can make someone difficult to be around. Here are some red flags to watch out for.

1. They constantly criticise and belittle people.

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People who constantly put people down can be incredibly draining to be around. They might nitpick at every little thing you do, make snide comments about your appearance or choices, or even resort to outright insults. Their words can chip away at your self-esteem and leave you feeling insecure and unworthy.

2. They engage in manipulative behaviour

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Toxic people often use manipulation to get what they want. They might guilt-trip you, play the victim, or use emotional blackmail to control your actions. Their manipulative tactics can leave you feeling confused, frustrated, and even resentful.

3. They lack empathy and compassion.

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One of the most challenging aspects of dealing with toxic people is their inability to understand or relate to your feelings. They might dismiss your concerns, invalidate your emotions, or simply not care about how their actions affect you. This lack of empathy can make you feel isolated and unsupported.

4. They are always the victim.

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No matter what the situation, toxic people always find a way to cast themselves as the victim. They might blame other people for their problems, refuse to take responsibility for their actions, or exaggerate their own suffering. This constant victim mentality can be exhausting and frustrating for those around them.

5. They create drama and chaos.

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Toxic people seem to thrive on drama and conflict. They might start rumours, gossip about people, or create unnecessary problems just to stir up trouble. Their chaotic behaviour can be disruptive and stressful, leaving you feeling emotionally drained.

6. They have a negative outlook on life.

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Toxic people often have a pessimistic view of the world. They might constantly complain, focus on the negative aspects of every situation, or simply bring down the mood wherever they go. Their negativity can be contagious and make it difficult to maintain a positive outlook.

7. They’re always jealous of people.

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Toxic people often feel jealous of other people’s achievements and happiness. They might try to undermine your success, belittle your accomplishments, or even sabotage your efforts. Their jealousy can create a toxic environment and make it difficult to celebrate your own achievements.

8. They drain your energy.

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After spending time with a toxic person, you might feel exhausted, drained, and emotionally depleted. Their negativity, drama, and manipulative behaviour can take a toll on your well-being, leaving you feeling depleted and overwhelmed. It’s important to recognise when someone is consistently draining your energy and take steps to protect yourself.

9. They are overly competitive.

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A little friendly competition can be fun, but toxic people take it to the extreme. They might try to one-up you in every situation, brag about their own accomplishments, or even try to sabotage your efforts. Their constant need to be the best can create a tense and uncomfortable atmosphere.

10. They hold grudges and refuse to forgive.

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Toxic people have a hard time letting go of past grievances. They might hold on to resentment for years, even over minor disagreements. Their inability to forgive can poison relationships and make it difficult to move forward.

11. They gossip and spread rumours.

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Toxic people love to gossip and spread rumours about people.  They might exaggerate stories, twist the truth, or simply make things up to create drama. Their gossip can damage reputations and create unnecessary conflict.

12. They take more than they give.

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In any relationship, there should be a balance of give and take. Toxic people, however, often take more than they give. They might constantly ask for favours, demand your attention, or expect you to always be there for them, without offering much in return. This one-sided dynamic can leave you feeling used and unappreciated.

13. They are controlling and domineering.

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Toxic people often try to control those around them. They might dictate what you do, who you see, or how you spend your time. They might also try to manipulate your emotions and decisions. Their controlling behaviour can be suffocating and make it difficult to maintain your independence.

14. They refuse to take responsibility for their actions.

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When things go wrong, toxic people are quick to point fingers and blame everyone else. They might make excuses, deny their involvement, or even try to shift the blame onto you. Their refusal to take responsibility can be frustrating and make it difficult to resolve conflicts.

15. They are inconsistent and unpredictable.

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One moment they might be charming and friendly, and the next they might be cold and distant. This inconsistency can make it difficult to know where you stand with them and leave you feeling anxious and insecure.

16. They violate your boundaries.

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Toxic people often disregard your boundaries and personal space. They might overstep your limits, ignore your requests, or simply not respect your needs. This lack of respect can leave you feeling disrespected and violated.

17. They make you feel bad about yourself.

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Perhaps the most telling sign of a toxic person is how they make you feel. If you consistently feel drained, anxious, insecure, or simply unhappy after spending time with someone, it’s a good indicator that they might be toxic. Trust your gut feeling and put your own well-being first.