Starting a new relationship can be exciting, but it’s important to approach it with a clear head and strong sense of self.
Before diving into a new romance, take some time to reflect on your own needs, values, and boundaries. Making these promises to yourself can help ensure that you enter your next relationship from a place of strength and self-awareness, which will ultimately set the stage for a healthier, more fulfilling partnership.
1. I will not lose myself in the relationship.
It’s easy to get caught up in the excitement of a new romance and neglect your own interests and friendships. Promise yourself that you’ll maintain your identity, hobbies, and social connections outside of the relationship. This not only keeps you grounded but also makes you a more interesting and well-rounded partner.
2. I will communicate my needs and boundaries clearly.
Unspoken expectations often lead to disappointment and resentment. Commit to expressing your needs, desires, and boundaries openly from the start. This includes everything from how much alone time you need to your expectations around fidelity. Clear communication sets the foundation for mutual understanding and respect.
3. I will not ignore red flags.
When we’re infatuated, it’s tempting to overlook warning signs. Promise yourself that you’ll pay attention to red flags and take them seriously. Whether it’s disrespectful behaviour, inconsistency, or values that don’t align with yours, addressing these issues early can save you from heartache down the line.
4. I will prioritise my own growth and happiness.
Source: Unsplash While relationships can be a source of joy, your happiness shouldn’t depend entirely on your partner. Commit to continuing your personal growth, pursuing your goals, and finding fulfilment in various aspects of your life. This self-reliance will make you a stronger, more confident partner.
5. I will not compromise my values or beliefs.
Source: Unsplash Your core values are an essential part of who you are. Promise yourself that you won’t change fundamental aspects of yourself to please a partner. A healthy relationship should support and complement your beliefs, not require you to abandon them.
6. I will maintain financial independence.
Source: Unsplash Even if you eventually decide to merge finances, it’s crucial to maintain some level of financial independence. Promise yourself that you’ll keep control of your own money and avoid becoming completely financially reliant on your partner. This gives you security and options if the relationship doesn’t work out.
7. I will not rush into major commitments.
Source: Unsplash New relationships can feel intense, but big decisions require time and consideration. Promise yourself that you won’t rush into major commitments like moving in together, getting engaged, or having children until you’re truly ready and have thoroughly discussed these steps with your partner.
8. I will trust my intuition.
Source: Unsplash Your gut feelings are often more perceptive than you realise. Promise to listen to your intuition about your relationship and your partner. If something feels off, don’t ignore it. Your instincts can alert you to issues that your conscious mind might be overlooking.
9. I will not tolerate disrespect or abuse.
Source: Unsplash Respect is non-negotiable in a healthy relationship. Promise yourself that you won’t tolerate any form of disrespect, emotional manipulation, or abuse. This includes setting firm boundaries around how you expect to be treated and being prepared to walk away if these boundaries are consistently violated.
10. I will take responsibility for my own emotions.
Source: Unsplash While partners should support each other emotionally, it’s not their job to manage your feelings. Promise to take responsibility for your own emotional well-being. This includes developing healthy coping mechanisms and not expecting your partner to be your sole source of emotional support.
11. I will not compare my relationship to anyone else’s.
Source: Unsplash Every relationship is unique, and comparing yours to other people’s is rarely helpful. Promise yourself that you won’t measure your relationship against those of friends, family, or social media ideals. Focus on what works for you and your partner, not on how your relationship looks to other people.
12. I will maintain my physical and mental health.
Source: Unsplash Self-care shouldn’t take a back seat in a new relationship. Promise to continue prioritising your physical and mental health. This includes maintaining regular exercise, eating well, getting enough sleep, and taking time for activities that support your mental well-being.
13. I will be honest about my past.
Source: Unsplash While you don’t need to share every detail immediately, promise to be honest about significant aspects of your past. This includes previous relationships, personal struggles, or life experiences that have shaped you. Honesty builds trust and allows your partner to understand you better.
14. I will not try to change my partner.
Source: Unsplash Enter the relationship accepting your partner as they are. Promise yourself that you won’t embark on a mission to change fundamental aspects of their personality or lifestyle. If you find yourself wanting to change your partner significantly, it might be a sign that you’re incompatible.
15. I will maintain my own social circle.
Source: Unsplash Friends provide support, perspective, and a life outside your romantic relationship. Promise to maintain your friendships and not neglect them for your new partner. A healthy relationship should enhance your social life, not replace it entirely.
16. I will be open to learning and growing together.
Source: Unsplash Relationships can be great opportunities for personal growth. Promise to approach your new relationship with an open mind, ready to learn from your partner and experiences together. This willingness to grow can strengthen your bond and help you both become better individuals.
17. I will remember that I am complete on my own.
Source: Unsplash Perhaps most importantly, promise yourself that you’ll remember your inherent completeness. A partner should complement your life, not complete it. Knowing that you are whole on your own allows you to enter a relationship from a place of strength and choice, rather than need or desperation.
