Some people stay calm under pressure, resolve conflicts with grace, and generally seem pretty composed in life.
This isn’t magic; it’s emotional maturity. Emotionally mature people have learned to control their impulses, manage their emotions, and communicate effectively. One way they do this is by avoiding certain phrases that can escalate situations or create unnecessary drama. Want to level up your emotional maturity? Here are 17 phrases you won’t catch them saying.
1. “It’s not my fault.”
Emotionally mature people take responsibility for their actions, even when it’s uncomfortable. They understand that blaming other people doesn’t solve problems; it just creates more of them. Instead of deflecting blame, they focus on finding solutions and learning from their mistakes.
2. “You’re being too sensitive.”
Invalidating someone’s feelings is a quick way to damage a relationship. Emotionally mature people recognise that everyone has the right to their emotions, even if they don’t fully understand them. They offer support and empathy, even if they disagree with the other person’s perspective.
3. “You always/never…”
Using absolute terms like “always” and “never” can escalate a disagreement into a full-blown argument. It’s rarely accurate to say that someone always or never does something, and it can make them feel defensive and misunderstood. Emotionally mature people focus on specific behaviours and situations, rather than making sweeping generalisations.
4. “Calm down.”
Telling someone to “calm down” when they’re upset rarely works. It often has the opposite effect, making them feel even more frustrated and misunderstood. Emotionally mature people validate the other person’s feelings and offer support, rather than trying to suppress their emotions.
5. “I told you so.”
Saying “I told you so” is like rubbing salt in the wound. It’s a way of gloating and making the other person feel worse about their mistake. Emotionally mature people focus on helping the other person learn from the experience and move forward, rather than rubbing their nose in it.
6. “That’s stupid/crazy/ridiculous.”
Name-calling and insults are never productive in a disagreement. Emotionally mature people avoid using hurtful language and instead focus on expressing their own opinions and feelings in a respectful way.
7. “You’re overreacting.”
Similar to “calm down,” telling someone they’re overreacting dismisses their feelings and invalidates their experience. Emotionally mature people acknowledge that everyone reacts differently to situations, and they try to understand where the other person is coming from.
8. “This is all your fault.”
Playing the blame game is a childish tactic that emotionally mature people avoid. They understand that most situations are complex and involve multiple factors. Instead of assigning blame, they focus on finding solutions and working together to resolve the issue.
9. “You make me so angry.”
Emotionally mature people understand that their emotions are their own responsibility. While people can influence our feelings, we ultimately choose how to react. Instead of blaming anyone else for their anger, they express their feelings in a healthy way and take ownership of their emotional responses.
10. “I can’t believe you did that.”
Expressing disappointment or hurt is valid, but using accusatory language like “I can’t believe you did that” can put the other person on the defensive. Emotionally mature people focus on explaining how the action made them feel, rather than attacking the person’s character.
11. “This always happens to me.”
Playing the victim and focusing on negativity doesn’t solve problems. Emotionally mature people acknowledge challenges but also look for solutions and opportunities for growth. They take responsibility for their circumstances and don’t dwell on the negative.
12. “You’re impossible to please.”
This phrase shuts down communication and creates a sense of hopelessness. Emotionally mature people understand that disagreements are a natural part of relationships, and they work to find common ground and compromise, rather than giving up or assigning blame.
13. “I don’t care.”
Even if you genuinely don’t have a strong opinion on something, saying “I don’t care” can sound dismissive and uncaring. Emotionally mature people express their thoughts and feelings honestly, even if it’s just to say, “I don’t have a preference, but I’m happy to go along with whatever you decide.”
14. “Whatever.”
This one-word response is the epitome of dismissiveness and disrespect. Emotionally mature people engage in conversations with genuine interest and try to understand the other person’s perspective, even if they don’t agree.
15. “You’re so dramatic.”
Minimising someone’s emotions or reactions is a guaranteed way to damage a relationship. Emotionally mature people validate the other person’s feelings and offer support, even if they think the reaction is exaggerated.
16. “I’m not talking to you anymore.”
Giving someone the silent treatment is a passive-aggressive tactic that emotionally mature people avoid. They address issues directly and communicate their feelings openly, even if it’s uncomfortable or difficult.
17. “Grow up.”
Telling someone to “grow up” is condescending and disrespectful. Emotionally mature people understand that everyone matures at their own pace, and they offer guidance and support instead of criticism and judgment.
