Social intelligence is about more than just being a smooth talker or a total charmer at parties.
It’s about having the emotional savvy and interpersonal skills to get through all kinds of social situations with ease. Socially intelligent people have a way with words that makes people feel calm, heard, and understood, and that’s incredible. They know just what to say to make connections and make everyone around them feel valued — here are just a few of the things you’ll hear come out of their mouths.
1. “I hear you.”
Instead of just waiting for their turn to talk, socially intelligent people make it clear that they’re actively listening. Saying “I hear you” shows the speaker that you’re not just hearing their words, but really taking in and considering what they’re expressing. It’s a simple but powerful way to validate someone’s perspective and make them feel understood. It shows that you’re fully present in the conversation and that their thoughts matter to you.
2. “What I’m hearing is…”
Socially intelligent people know that real listening involves more than just taking in information — it’s about processing and reflecting it back to ensure clarity. Restating the key points of what someone has shared, in your own words, shows that you’re making a sincere effort to understand their message. It also gives the speaker a chance to correct any misinterpretations and feel truly heard. This reflective listening technique is a cornerstone of empathetic, emotionally intelligent communication.
3. “Tell me more about…”
Source: Unsplash Asking someone to elaborate on a point they’ve made or a story they’ve shared is a great way to show genuine interest. It invites them to go deeper, to share more of their thoughts and experiences. Socially intelligent people use this phrase to gently draw people out and create more intimacy in the conversation. It sends the message that you’re not just making polite small talk, but are truly curious about the person you’re engaging with.
4. “I appreciate your insight on this.”
Socially adept people know the importance of making everyone feel valued and acknowledged. When someone shares their perspective or expertise on a topic, taking a moment to explicitly express your appreciation shows that you don’t take their input for granted. It’s a way of honouring their unique viewpoint and the mental and emotional energy they’ve expended in sharing it with you. This simple affirmation can make people feel seen, respected, and more invested in the interaction.
5. “I hadn’t considered that perspective before.”
Source: Unsplash Admitting that someone has introduced you to a new way of thinking about something is a sign of intellectual humility and openness. Socially intelligent people aren’t afraid to acknowledge the limits of their own understanding. They welcome new viewpoints as an opportunity to expand their mental horizons. This phrase shows that you’re willing to learn from other people and that you appreciate everyone’s unique experiences. It creates space for richer, more nuanced dialogue.
6. “Thank you for sharing that with me.”
Source: Pexels When someone opens up to you about something personal or vulnerable, acknowledging the trust they’ve placed in you is crucial. Socially intelligent people know that confiding in someone is a gift, not to be taken lightly. Expressing gratitude for their willingness to share shows that you understand the emotional risk they took and that you don’t judge them for it. It reaffirms your role as a safe, supportive confidante and strengthens the bond of your relationship.
7. “I can see why you’d feel that way.”
Source: Unsplash Validating someone’s emotions, even if you don’t necessarily agree with their perspective, is a key component of empathy. People with social intelligence know that feelings are never “wrong” or “irrational” — they’re simply human responses to circumstances. Acknowledging the understandable root of someone’s reaction shows that you respect their emotional reality. It makes them feel less alone and more supported. You don’t have to share their viewpoint to show compassion for their experience of it.
8. “How can I best support you right now?”
Source: Unsplash When someone’s going through a tough time, socially intelligent people know that vague offers of help can sometimes do more harm than good. Asking point-blank what kind of support the person actually needs shows a willingness to step up in a targeted, meaningful way. It takes the guesswork out of being there for them. Maybe they need a listening ear, maybe they need practical assistance with a task, or maybe they just need some space to process. Asking directly allows you to show up for them in the way that’s most helpful.
9. “I believe in you.”
Source: Unsplash These four simple words can be a powerful affirmation when someone is doubting themselves. Whether they’re nervous about an upcoming challenge, second-guessing a decision, or just feeling low on confidence, hearing that you have faith in them can be the boost they need. Socially intelligent people look for opportunities to encourage and uplift people and remind them of their strengths. They know that a well-timed vote of confidence from someone they respect can work wonders.
10. “Your feelings are valid.”
Source: Unsplash Socially intelligent people understand that emotional invalidation is an easy way to make someone feel unheard and misunderstood. They make a point of affirming that the other person’s feelings, even if they’re complicated or uncomfortable, are legitimate and worthy of respect. They don’t try to talk them out of their emotions or suggest that they’re overreacting. They hold space for the full spectrum of human experience and make it clear that there’s no shame in feeling deeply.
11. “I’m here for you whenever you’re ready to talk.”
Source: Unsplash Pressuring someone to open up before they’re ready is a common misstep. Socially intelligent people know that true support means respecting other people’s boundaries and timelines. They make it clear that they’re available to lend an ear or a shoulder to cry on, but they don’t push. They create an open invitation for the person to share when it feels right for them, without any pressure or expectation. This patient, non-judgmental approach creates a safe space for authentic connection.
12. “That must have been really hard for you.”
Source: Unsplash When someone shares a difficult experience they’ve been through, socially adept people resist the urge to silver-line it or minimise their pain. They don’t rush to find the bright side or offer unsolicited advice. Instead, they acknowledge the weight of what the person has endured. They sit with the discomfort and offer a compassionate witness to their struggle. Validating the challenge of their experience shows deep empathy and creates an emotional bond.
13. “I’m sorry, I should have [specific action] instead.”
Source: Unsplash Socially intelligent people know that a vague “I’m sorry” often isn’t enough when they’ve messed up. They take full ownership of their mistake by naming the specific action they regret and the better choice they could have made. This level of accountability shows that they’ve really reflected on how their behaviour impacted the other person. It’s not about wallowing in guilt, but demonstrating that they understand their misstep and are committed to doing better. A thoughtful, specific apology is a building block of healthy relationships.
14. “Thank you for your patience.”
Whether you’ve had to reschedule plans multiple times, taken forever to reply to a message, or kept someone waiting longer than expected, acknowledging their forbearance is a classy move. Socially intelligent people don’t take other people’s patience for granted. They recognise the gift of grace and understanding, especially when they’ve inadvertently inconvenienced someone. Expressing genuine appreciation for their willingness to roll with the punches shows that you don’t feel entitled to their flexibility.
15. “I appreciate your honesty.”
It takes courage to have difficult conversations and share hard truths. When someone is forthright with you, even if their message is challenging to hear, acknowledging the value of their honesty shows emotional maturity. Socially intelligent people don’t get defensive or lash out when confronted with uncomfortable feedback. They understand that the short-term discomfort of facing the truth is worth the long-term benefit of being able to address issues head-on. They express gratitude for the person’s willingness to be upfront with them, even when it’s hard.
16. “I’ve been thinking a lot about what you said.”
Socially intelligent people don’t just listen in the moment and then forget about the conversation. They take what people share with them and really mull it over. Letting someone know that something they expressed has stayed with you and sparked ongoing reflection shows that their words have impact. It’s a way of honouring the weight of their thoughts and the effort they put into communicating them. It makes people feel like they’re not just shouting into the void, but really being absorbed and integrated.
17. “Our relationship means a lot to me.”
Source: Unsplash So many people are all about shallow connections and disposable interactions, which is why explicitly telling someone that their presence in your life is meaningful and cherished can be so special. Socially intelligent people verbalise their appreciation for their relationships. They don’t assume that people just know how much they care. They put in the time to express what someone’s friendship, love, or mentorship has brought to their life. Honouring your connection in words strengthens and deepens your bond.
