Everyone’s a bit self-centred sometimes, but narcissists are so into themselves, it’s like no one else matters — or even exists.
While having one or two of these traits is probably not the end of the world, if you know someone who ticks off pretty every item on this list, you’re likely dealing with a narcissist. Given that these people are unpleasant at best and downright dangerous at worst, being aware of the red flags is the best way to protect yourself from their toxicity.
1. They make every conversation about themselves.
Watch how quickly they redirect discussions to their experiences. Even when you share important news or concerns, they find ways to make it about them. They dominate conversations with their stories and achievements, showing zero interest in your perspectives or experiences.
2. They refuse to acknowledge their mistakes.
Source: Unsplash When things go wrong, they never take responsibility. They’ll twist facts, blame other people, or deny events entirely. Even with clear evidence, they maintain their version of reality. Getting them to admit fault becomes an exhausting and ultimately pointless exercise.
3. Their empathy appears selective and calculated.
They show concern only when it benefits them or when other people are watching. Their sympathy feels performative and shallow. In private, they dismiss other people’s feelings completely. Their on-off empathy reveals their true nature behind the public mask.
4. They need constant admiration and praise.
Regular praise isn’t enough — they need constant validation and attention. They fish for compliments and create situations where everyone else just has to acknowledge them. Without this steady stream of admiration, they become visibly irritated or withdrawn. Their need for recognition never gets satisfied.
5. They think they’re entitled to special treatment all the time.
Rules don’t apply to them in their mind. They expect special treatment everywhere and react badly when denied. Waiting in lines, following procedures, or respecting boundaries — these normal social expectations don’t register as important to them.
6. They use emotional manipulation tactics.
Guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and emotional blackmail become their go-to strategies. They know exactly which emotional buttons to push. When their tactics work, they’ll use them repeatedly. Your emotional reactions become tools for their control.
7. They’re excessively jealous of other people.
Other people’s success threatens them deeply. They’ll downplay people’s achievements, spread rumours, or try to sabotage other people’s happiness. Their jealousy extends beyond normal competition into destructive territory. They can’t stand seeing anyone else in the spotlight.
8. They’re not at all interested in other people’s lives.
Unless they need something, they show zero curiosity about other people. They forget important details about your life, ignore your achievements, and tune out during your stories. Their disinterest becomes obvious in both small talk and serious conversations.
9. They have a grandiose self-image.
Their sense of self-importance exceeds reality. They exaggerate achievements and expect recognition for minimal effort. Their stories always position them as the hero or victim. This inflated self-image remains unshakeable despite contradicting evidence.
10. They react explosively to criticism.
Even gentle feedback triggers defensive responses. They view any criticism as a personal attack. Their reactions range from cold silence to explosive anger. Constructive conversations become impossible because they can’t handle any perceived slight.
11. They exploit relationships for personal gain.
Every relationship serves a purpose in their world. They cultivate connections based on usefulness rather than genuine care. Once someone stops being useful, they quickly disconnect. Their friendships and relationships lack real emotional depth.
12. They have dramatic and intense mood swings.
Their emotions shift rapidly based on external validation. One moment they’re charming, the next they’re hostile. These mood swings keep people walking on eggshells. Their emotional stability depends entirely on how people treat them.
13. They stomp all over people’s personal boundaries.
Your boundaries mean nothing to them. They push limits, ignore requests for space, and act offended when called out. Setting boundaries becomes a constant battle. They view your limits as personal challenges to overcome.
14. Their memory is extremely selective.
They remember events differently than everyone else. Conversations get rewritten to favour them. They forget promises but remember every perceived slight against them. Their selective memory serves their narrative and dismisses other people’s experiences.
15. They need to be in control of every single situation.
From small decisions to major plans, they need to maintain control. They struggle when things don’t go their way. Simple group activities become power struggles because they can’t handle not being in charge.
16. Their kindness is conditional.
Their nice behaviour always comes with strings attached. They keep score of favours and expect repayment. Kind gestures become weapons later. Every action has an agenda behind it, even if it’s not immediately obvious.
17. They don’t know or care how they’re impacting anyone else.
They remain oblivious to how their behaviour affects the people around them. When confronted with the consequences of their actions, they dismiss or deny them. Their lack of self-reflection makes real change nearly impossible. They simply can’t see their role in problems.
