Relationships are meant to be uplifting and supportive, but sometimes, they can become suffocating.
It’s a subtle shift that can happen gradually, leaving you feeling trapped and unfulfilled. If any of these things are happening in your relationship, you may need to reassess whether it’s wise to stay in it.
1. You feel like you’re constantly walking on eggshells.
If you’re constantly worried about saying or doing the “wrong” thing, it’s a sign that something isn’t right. Healthy relationships are built on trust and open communication. When you feel like you have to tiptoe around your partner’s moods or constantly monitor your words and actions to avoid conflict, it can create a sense of anxiety and unease that takes a toll on your emotional well-being.
2. You’ve lost your sense of self.
Remember who you were before the relationship? Your passions, your hobbies, your quirks? If you can’t quite recognise that person anymore, it might be a sign that you’ve lost yourself in the relationship. A healthy partnership should encourage individual growth and self-expression, not diminish it.
3. You’re afraid to share your dreams and ambitions.
Do you find yourself hesitating to share your hopes and dreams with your partner, fearing judgment or discouragement? A supportive partner should celebrate your aspirations and encourage you to pursue your passions. If you feel like your dreams are being stifled or belittled, it can create a sense of frustration and resentment that can slowly eat away at your sense of self-worth.
4. You feel guilty for spending time with friends or family.
While spending quality time with your partner is important, a healthy relationship allows for individual connections and friendships. If you feel guilty for wanting to hang out with friends or visit family, it might be a sign that your partner is trying to control your social circle and isolate you from other sources of support and happiness.
5. You’re constantly being criticised or put down.
Constructive criticism can be helpful for growth, but constant nitpicking, belittling, or put-downs are toxic and damaging. If your partner constantly focuses on your flaws, makes you feel inadequate, or undermines your confidence, it can create a negative and emotionally draining environment that stifles your self-esteem.
6. You avoid disagreeing with them, even when you should.
Healthy disagreements are a natural part of any relationship. However, if you find yourself constantly agreeing with your partner, even when you disagree, it might be a sign that you’re afraid of conflict or worried about upsetting them. This can lead to resentment and a feeling of not being heard or valued.
7. You make excuses for their bad behaviour
Everyone makes mistakes, but if you find yourself constantly making excuses for your partner’s hurtful actions or toxic behaviour, it’s a sign that something is wrong. You might be minimising their behaviour, justifying it with external factors, or even blaming yourself. Remember, you deserve to be treated with respect and kindness, and it’s not your responsibility to fix or excuse someone else’s mistreatment.
8. You feel like you can’t be yourself.
Do you feel like you have to put on a facade or hide parts of yourself to please your partner? If you feel like you can’t be authentic, express your true thoughts and feelings, or be yourself around them, it can create a sense of emotional disconnect and lead to feelings of isolation and unhappiness within the relationship.
9. Your partner discourages your personal growth.
A healthy relationship should inspire both partners to grow and evolve as individuals. If your partner discourages your personal growth, whether it’s pursuing a new hobby, going back to school, or changing careers, it can be a sign that they feel threatened by your independence or success. A supportive partner should celebrate your achievements and encourage you to be the best version of yourself.
10. You feel like you’re constantly competing for their attention.
Do you feel like you have to constantly fight for your partner’s attention? Whether it’s competing with their work, hobbies, or even their phone, feeling like you’re not a priority in their life can be emotionally draining and make you feel undervalued. Healthy relationships involve mutual effort and a balance of priorities, where both partners feel seen, heard, and appreciated.
11. Your partner makes all the decisions.
From where you go on holiday to what you eat for dinner, if your partner consistently makes all the decisions without considering your input or preferences, it can create a power imbalance in the relationship. Feeling like your opinions and desires don’t matter can lead to resentment and a loss of autonomy.
12. You feel emotionally drained after spending time with them.
Spending time with your partner should leave you feeling energised, happy, and fulfilled. If you consistently feel emotionally drained or exhausted after being with them, it might be a sign that the relationship is taking more than it’s giving. This could be due to constant conflict, negativity, or a lack of emotional support.
13. You’re always the one initiating affection and intimacy.
Affection and intimacy should be a two-way street in a relationship. If you’re always the one initiating physical touch, emotional connection, or quality time, it might be a sign that your partner is not reciprocating your efforts. Feeling like you’re constantly chasing after their affection can be disheartening and lead to feelings of rejection and insecurity.
14. You feel like you’re constantly being monitored or checked up on.
A little checking in is normal, but if your partner is constantly monitoring your whereabouts, questioning your activities, or demanding to know every detail of your day, it can create a suffocating environment. This kind of behaviour often stems from jealousy, insecurity, or a need for control, and it can destroy your sense of privacy and independence.
15. Your partner is overly possessive or jealous.
A healthy level of jealousy is normal in any relationship, but excessive possessiveness or jealousy can be suffocating. If your partner constantly accuses you of flirting with other people, tries to control who you talk to or spend time with, or gets jealous of your other relationships, it can create a toxic environment of suspicion and distrust.
16. You feel like you’re losing your support network.
If your partner discourages you from spending time with friends or family, criticises your loved ones, or tries to isolate you from your support network, it’s a major red flag. A healthy relationship should encourage you to maintain your connections and support systems outside of the relationship, not cut you off from them.
17. You feel trapped and unable to leave.
If you feel like you’re stuck in the relationship and unable to leave, even though you’re unhappy, it’s important to get help. This feeling of being trapped can be due to emotional manipulation, financial dependence, or fear of the unknown. Remember, you deserve to be happy and fulfilled in your relationship, and there’s no shame in asking for support to break free from a suffocating situation.
