Being an introvert isn’t a bad thing, but there’s a fine line between enjoying your own company and becoming a total hermit.
If you’ve started to wonder whether you’re taking your love of solitude a bit too far, it might be time for a change. Here are some signs you need to start pushing yourself out of your comfort zone a bit more often.
1. You’ve turned down so many invites, they’ve stopped coming.
Source: Unsplash Remember when your phone used to buzz with weekend plans and after-work drinks invites? If that’s become a distant memory, it might be because you’ve said no one too many times. Constantly declining invitations doesn’t just mean missing out on fun — it can lead to people assuming you’re not interested in hanging out at all. Before you know it, you’re off the invite list altogether, and your social circle starts to shrink.
2. Your idea of a wild Friday night is a new Netflix series.
Source: Unsplash Don’t get us wrong, a cosy night in with a good show can be brilliant. But if the thought of doing anything else on a Friday night feels utterly exhausting, you might be taking your introversion to the extreme. When was the last time you actually went out on a weekend? If you can’t remember, it might be time to dust off your going-out shoes and give the real world a shot. You might be surprised at how much fun you have.
3. You’ve mastered the art of avoiding small talk with neighbours.
Do you time your trips to the bin or wait until the coast is clear before leaving your flat? If you’re going to great lengths to avoid a quick chat with your neighbours, you might be taking your introversion a bit far. A bit of small talk won’t kill you, and who knows? You might actually discover you have something in common with the person next door. Plus, it’s always handy to have a neighbour you can ask to water your plants when you’re away.
4. Your houseplants are your closest companions.
Source: Unsplash It’s great to have a thriving indoor garden, but if your philodendron is the only living thing you’ve had a meaningful interaction with this week, it might be time to branch out. While plants are excellent listeners, they’re not great at providing stimulating conversation or emotional support. Consider joining a local gardening club or plant swap — it’s a great way to meet people with similar interests without diving into the deep end of socialising.
5. You’ve become a master of excuses to avoid social events.
Source: Unsplash Sudden bout of flu? Imaginary relative in town? Work emergency that mysteriously pops up every time there’s a social gathering? If you’re always making up reasons to avoid events, you might be taking your introversion too far. It’s okay to skip some social occasions, but if you’re lying to get out of every single one, you’re missing out on potential connections and experiences that could enrich your life.
6. You consider ordering takeaway a social interaction.
Source: Unsplash If the highlight of your social calendar is chatting with the delivery driver, it might be time to expand your horizons. While it’s great to have a favourite curry place on speed dial, relying on food delivery for human interaction isn’t healthy in the long run. Try eating out at your local restaurant instead — you’ll still get great food, but with the added bonus of being around other people, even if you’re dining solo.
7. Your phone’s most used feature is ‘Do Not Disturb’.
Source: Unsplash It’s one thing to need some quiet time, but if your phone is perpetually silenced, you might be cutting yourself off too much. Constant availability isn’t necessary, but being unreachable most of the time can strain relationships and make you miss out on spontaneous plans or important news. Try setting specific times when your phone is open for business — you might find a happy medium between peace and connection.
8. You’ve forgotten how to have a face-to-face conversation.
If the thought of an in-person chat fills you with dread, and you stumble over words when you’re not behind a screen, you might have taken your digital hermit lifestyle too far. While texting and emails are convenient, they can’t replace the nuances of face-to-face interaction. Practice makes perfect — try having more in-person chats, even if it’s just with the barista at your local coffee shop.
9. Your default answer to everything is ‘no’.
Source: Unsplash New experience? No. Friend’s party? No. Work social? Definitely no. If your knee-jerk reaction to any invitation or suggestion is an automatic ‘no’, you might be closing yourself off to potential opportunities and experiences. Try adopting a ‘yes’ mentality for a week — you don’t have to agree to everything, but give yourself a chance to consider options before shutting them down.
10. You’ve developed an irrational fear of your doorbell.
Does the sound of your doorbell send you into a panic, diving behind the sofa to avoid being seen? While unexpected visitors can be annoying, if you’re treating your doorbell like a horror movie sound effect, you might be taking your need for solitude too far. Remember, it’s okay to answer the door — and it’s also okay to politely tell people if it’s not a good time to chat.
11. Your pet knows more about your day than any human.
It’s great to have a close bond with your furry friend, but if your cat or dog is the only living being that knows about your promotion, your new hobby, or your dating life, it might be time to widen your social circle. Pets are wonderful companions, but they can’t provide the kind of feedback, support, and shared experiences that human friends can. Try sharing your news with a human friend or family member next time.
12. You’ve become nocturnal to avoid people.
If you lay awake at 3 AM and sleep through the day to minimise human contact, you might be taking your introversion to unhealthy levels. While night owls aren’t necessarily introverts, consistently avoiding daylight hours to dodge social interaction isn’t great for your physical or mental health. Try adjusting your schedule to overlap more with the waking world — you might find that a bit of sunlight and human interaction do you good.
13. Your social skills are rustier than an old bike.
Source: Unsplash When you do venture out, do you forget basic social niceties or struggling to keep a conversation going? Social skills are like muscles — they need regular exercise to stay in shape. If you’ve let yours atrophy, it’s not too late to start working them out again. Start small — chat with a cashier, call a friend instead of texting, or join an online forum about a topic you’re interested in.
14. You’ve developed an unhealthy relationship with social media.
Source: Unsplash Do you regularly end up spending hours scrolling through social media, feeling like you’re socialising without actually interacting with anyone? While social media can be a great tool for staying connected, it’s not a replacement for real-world interactions. If you’re using it as your primary form of social contact, you might be missing out on the depth and nuance of face-to-face relationships. Try setting limits on your social media use and redirecting that time to in-person or voice call catch-ups.
15. You’ve turned down career opportunities to avoid social situations.
Source: Unsplash Have you passed up a promotion or a new job because it would involve more meetings or client interactions? While it’s important to find a role that suits your personality, limiting your career growth due to social anxiety or extreme introversion can hold you back in the long run. Consider pushing yourself out of your comfort zone gradually — you might discover hidden talents or enjoy aspects of a more social role that you didn’t expect.
16. Your friend’s group chat is a constant source of anxiety.
Does the sight of multiple notifications from a group chat fill you with dread? While it’s normal to feel overwhelmed by constant messages sometimes, if you’re routinely muting or ignoring group conversations, you might be missing out on important social connections. Try dipping your toe in — respond to a message or two, even if it’s just with an emoji. Staying somewhat engaged can help you feel more connected without the pressure of constant interaction.
17. You can’t remember the last time you tried something new.
Source: Unsplash When was the last time you stepped out of your comfort zone and tried a new experience? If you can’t remember, your introversion might be holding you back from personal growth and exciting opportunities. New experiences often involve meeting new people or being in unfamiliar social situations, which can be daunting for introverts. But they’re also crucial for broadening your horizons and developing as a person. Start small — try a new cuisine, take a class in something you’re interested in, or visit a new part of town. You might surprise yourself with how much you enjoy it.
