You’d hesitate to refer to the person you’ve been seeing as your partner, but you’re definitely beyond the dating stage.
You haven’t had “The Talk,” but given that you’re both grown adults now and presumably looking for a serious relationship, it’s safe to say you’re “together,” right? Not necessarily. If any of these things are happening, you’re the unfortunate victim of a situationship — and yes, these can happen even to people in their 30s, 40s, and beyond!
1. Your plans are always last-minute and vague.
Source: Unsplash If you’re constantly getting texts like “You free tonight?” instead of proper date plans, you might be in situationship territory. These casual, last-minute hangouts are the bread and butter of keeping things non-committal. You’re always on standby, waiting for them to pencil you in when they’ve got nothing better to do.
2. You’ve never met their friends or family.
Source: Unsplash Been seeing each other for months, but still haven’t been introduced to their inner circle? Red flag alert! In a situationship, you’re kept at arm’s length from their ‘real’ life. Clearly, you’re in this bubble that only exists when you’re alone together. No family dinners or nights out with their mates for you!
3. Your conversations never go deep.
If your chats are all about Netflix recommendations and what you had for lunch, without ever touching on feelings or the future, you might be stuck in shallow waters. Situationships thrive on keeping things light and breezy. It’s fun, sure, but after a while, you might start craving a bit more substance in your convos.
4. You’re not sure if you’re exclusive.
The ‘what are we’ talk? Never happened. You’re left wondering if they’re seeing other people, but you’re too afraid to ask. You’re basically playing romantic roulette — you’re not sure if you’re the only one at the table. This ambiguity is a classic situationship move.
5. They’re hot and cold.
Source: Unsplash One week they’re blowing up your phone, the next they’ve gone MIA. This rollercoaster of attention is a hallmark of situationships. They can turn their affection on and off, and you never know which version you’re going to get. Talk about emotional whiplash!
6. You don’t celebrate milestones together.
Birthdays, holidays, anniversaries? They pass by without much fanfare. In a situationship, these special dates aren’t really acknowledged. It’s like you’re both pretending the calendar doesn’t exist. No “Happy 6-month anniversary” for you — because that would make things too real, right?
7. Your ‘dates’ are mostly Netflix and chill.
If your idea of going out is moving from the bedroom to the couch, you might be in a situationship. Real dates that involve leaving the house? Few and far between. It’s all about keeping things casual and convenient. Why bother with dinner and a movie when you can order in and make out?
8. You don’t talk about the future.
Plans beyond next weekend? Nope, not happening. In a situationship, the future is a no-go zone. It’s all about living in the moment, which sounds fun until you realise you have no idea where this is going. You’re both stuck in a permanent present tense, and aren’t you a little too old for that?
9. They’re still active on dating apps.
Caught them swiping when you thought you were somewhat exclusive? Classic situationship move. They’re keeping their options open, and unfortunately, you’re just one of those options. They’ve got one foot in the door with you and the other in the dating pool. Talk about hedging your bets!
10. You feel confused most of the time.
Source: Unsplash If you’re constantly trying to figure out where you stand, welcome to Situationship Central. This constant state of uncertainty is par for the course. One minute you feel like you’re on the brink of a relationship, the next you’re wondering if they even like you. It’s emotional ping-pong, and you’re the ball!
11. They avoid labels like the plague.
Source: Unsplash Try to define what you are, and watch them squirm. In a situationship, labels are kryptonite. They’ll come up with all sorts of creative ways to avoid calling you their partner or girlfriend/boyfriend. They act as if they’re allergic to commitment, and calling what you have a relationship will be the death of them.
12. Your emotional needs aren’t being met.
Feel like you’re always craving more emotional connection? That’s situationship 101. You might get physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy? That’s off the menu. It’s like being served a beautiful-looking meal that leaves you feeling hungry an hour later. Satisfying in the moment, but ultimately unfulfilling.
13. You’re not a priority in their life.
In a situationship, you’re often the backup plan. If something better comes up, you’re easily ditched. You’re basically hanging around until they’ve got no better options, then they’ll call you to get together. Not exactly the starring role you were hoping for, right?
14. You don’t feel comfortable leaving stuff at their place.
Thinking about leaving a toothbrush at theirs feels like a big step. In a situationship, there’s an invisible boundary that keeps your lives separate. It’s like you’re a guest star in their life, not a regular cast member. No drawer space for you!
15. They’re vague about their feelings for you.
Ask them how they feel about you, and you’ll probably get a non-committal response. “You’re cool” or “I like hanging out” are situationship classics. They’re trying to compliment you without actually saying anything meaningful, and that just doesn’t work. You deserve to be told loudly, explicitly, and directly how someone feels about you.
16. You haven’t integrated into each other’s routines.
In a real relationship, your lives start to mesh. In your arrangement, not so much. Your day-to-day routines remain separate, with occasional meetups thrown in. You’re living parallel lives that occasionally intersect, rather than truly intertwining.
17. You’re afraid to rock the boat.
Find yourself holding back from expressing your true feelings or needs? That’s a red flag. You’re walking on eggshells, afraid that asking for more might end things. You’re terrified of making the wrong moves and bringing it all crashing down, but what exactly are you trying to save?
