While constant fights and cheating might be the obvious culprits for a marital breakdown, there are often subtler, silent killers lurking beneath the surface.
These seemingly harmless habits and behaviours can gradually dismantle the foundation of a relationship, leading to resentment, disconnection, and ultimately, divorce. Here are some things that might be jeopardising your marital bliss without you even realising.
1. You take each other for granted.
Source: Unsplash Remember the initial spark, the little gestures of love and appreciation? As time passes, it’s easy to forget how important these are. Taking your partner for granted, assuming their love and support, can create a sense of resentment and neglect. Make an effort to express your gratitude, celebrate their accomplishments, and remind them of your love.
2. You stop communicating openly and honestly.
Communication is the cornerstone of any healthy relationship. When you stop sharing your thoughts, feelings, and concerns openly, a wall starts to build between you. Bottling up emotions or avoiding difficult conversations can lead to misunderstandings, resentment, and emotional distance. Create a safe space for open dialogue, practice active listening, and be willing to compromise.
3. You neglect intimacy and affection.
Source: Unsplash Intimacy is more than just physical touch; it’s about emotional connection and shared experiences. When you neglect intimacy, whether it’s cuddling on the couch, holding hands, or expressing your love verbally, it can create a sense of loneliness and disconnection. Prioritise intimate moments, both big and small, to keep the spark alive and strengthen your bond.
4. You criticise more than you compliment.
Source: Unsplash We all have flaws and shortcomings, but focusing on the negative can be incredibly damaging to a relationship. Constant criticism, nagging, or nitpicking can harm self-esteem and create a toxic atmosphere. Make an effort to focus on the positive, offer genuine compliments, and express your appreciation for your partner’s efforts.
5. You keep score and hold grudges.
Source: Unsplash In a healthy relationship, it’s not about keeping track of who did what or who’s winning. Holding on to past hurts, grudges, or resentments can poison your present and future. Practice forgiveness, let go of the past, and focus on building a positive future together. Remember, a marriage is a partnership, not a competition.
6. You stop trying to impress each other.
Source: Unsplash In the early stages of a relationship, we often go out of our way to impress our partner. But as time goes by, we might let ourselves go, both physically and emotionally. Making an effort to look your best, surprise your partner with thoughtful gestures, or simply spending quality time together can reignite the spark and remind you why you fell in love in the first place.
7. You make major decisions without consulting each other.
Source: Unsplash A marriage is a partnership, and major decisions should be made together. Whether it’s about finances, career changes, or family matters, excluding your partner from the decision-making process can make them feel unimportant and undervalued. Open communication, collaboration, and mutual respect are essential for making important choices that affect both of you.
8. You compare your relationship to other people’s.
Source: Unsplash Every relationship is unique, and comparing yours to other people’s can set unrealistic expectations and lead to dissatisfaction. Focusing on what other couples have or how their relationship seems perfect can make you overlook the good things in your own partnership. Embrace the uniqueness of your relationship, celebrate your strengths, and work on areas that need improvement.
9. You neglect individual interests and friendships.
Source: Unsplash While a strong partnership is important, it’s equally crucial to maintain your own individuality and friendships. When you neglect your personal interests or isolate yourselves from friends and family, it can lead to resentment, boredom, and a loss of personal identity. Encourage each other to pursue hobbies, spend time with friends, and maintain a healthy balance between couple time and individual time.
10. You let resentment fester and build up.
Resentment is like a slow-acting poison that can slowly destroy a relationship. If you’re harbouring unresolved anger, hurt, or frustration towards your partner, it’s essential to address it openly and honestly. Sweeping things under the rug might seem easier in the short term, but it can lead to a build-up of negativity that eventually erupts in destructive ways. Practice forgiveness, seek resolution, and communicate your needs effectively.
11. You stop having fun together.
Remember those early days filled with laughter, adventures, and spontaneous fun? As life gets busy, it’s easy to forget to prioritise fun and playfulness in your relationship. When you stop having fun together, it can lead to boredom, monotony, and a lack of excitement. Make an effort to inject some fun and spontaneity into your lives. Try new activities, revisit old hobbies, or simply make time for laughter and joy.
12. You prioritise technology over connection.
In today’s digital age, it’s easy to get sucked into the world of screens and social media. When you spend more time scrolling through your phone than interacting with your partner, it can create a sense of distance and disengagement. Put away the devices, make eye contact, and have real conversations. Prioritise quality time together, whether it’s cooking dinner together, watching a movie, or simply cuddling on the couch.
13. You become complacent and stop growing together.
Personal growth is essential for a thriving relationship. When you become complacent and stop learning, exploring, or challenging yourselves, it can lead to stagnation and a feeling of being stuck. Encourage each other’s growth, support each other’s goals and dreams, and embrace new experiences together. A shared journey of growth can strengthen your bond and keep your relationship exciting.
14. You lose respect for each other.
Source: Unsplash Respect is the foundation of any healthy relationship. When you start belittling, insulting, or demeaning your partner, it destroys the trust and affection that once held you together. Speak to each other with kindness, avoid name-calling or hurtful remarks, and always strive to treat each other with dignity and respect. Remember, a loving relationship should be a safe haven, not a battleground.
15. You stop prioritising your relationship.
Life is full of demands and distractions, but your relationship should remain a top priority. When you neglect your partnership, whether it’s due to work, family obligations, or personal interests, it can lead to a feeling of neglect and resentment. Make time for date nights, weekend getaways, or simply quiet moments together. Invest in your relationship, nurture it with love and attention, and it will continue to flourish.
16. You give up easily when challenges arise.
Every relationship faces challenges, but it’s how you handle those challenges that determines your success. When you give up easily, avoid conflict, or refuse to work through problems, it can create a pattern of avoidance and resentment. Instead, embrace challenges as opportunities for growth, communicate openly, and work together to find solutions. A willingness to overcome obstacles together can strengthen your bond and deepen your connection.
17. You lose sight of your shared goals and dreams.
Remember the dreams you once shared, the goals you set together? As time goes by, it’s easy to lose sight of those shared aspirations. When you stop working towards common goals, it can create a sense of drifting apart and losing your sense of purpose as a couple. Revisit your shared dreams, set new goals, and create a roadmap for your future together. A shared vision can reignite the passion and commitment in your relationship.
