Marriages don’t always end with a dramatic explosion.
In reality, it’s often a slow burn that happens bit by bit, with neither of you realising it until it’s too late. No one wakes up in the morning wanting a divorce out of nowhere. Chances are, your relationship went through these stages before you got there.
1. The “we’ve grown apart” phase
One day, you look at your partner and realise you haven’t had a meaningful conversation in weeks. Your chats revolve around grocery lists, bills, or who’s picking up the kids. The distance feels more noticeable than ever, and you can’t remember the last time you really connected.
2. The silent eye-roll phase
Every little thing they do starts to annoy you, from how they chew to the way they load the dishwasher (wrong, obviously). Instead of voicing your irritation, you opt for a silent, exaggerated eye roll that you’re convinced they don’t notice.
3. The “everything is fine” phase
When friends or family ask how things are going, you plaster on a smile and respond with a breezy, “We’re great!” Meanwhile, inside, you’re replaying last night’s passive-aggressive argument over whose turn it was to take out the rubbish.
4. The separate Netflix accounts phase
Source: Unsplash You stop pretending you want to watch the same shows and finally give in to having your own streaming queues. They stick to action movies, while you dive into crime dramas. Suddenly, your evenings are spent on separate couches, and you’re both okay with it.
5. The overbooked schedule phase
From book clubs to gym sessions, your calendars are packed—but not with anything involving each other. You fill your time with activities and friends, and it starts to feel like you’re living two completely separate lives.
6. The constant bickering phase
At this point, even the smallest disagreements blow up into full-blown arguments. Whether it’s about what to eat for dinner or who left the toothpaste cap off, you’re both always ready to fight. The tension is thick, and there’s little effort to resolve it.
7. The “everything they do is wrong” phase
You’ve hit the stage where you start noticing every flaw and quirk like it’s a glaring red flag. From how they fold laundry to how they sneeze, you can’t help but feel annoyed by everything. It’s like your tolerance levels are permanently stuck on low.
8. The social media highlight reel phase
Outwardly, you post photos of happy family dinners or cute couple selfies, even though those moments feel more staged than real. Social media becomes your way of pretending everything is fine, even if the reality is a little messier.
9. The parallel lives phase
You’ve stopped sharing big news or discussing your day with each other. Instead, you catch up with friends or coworkers before your partner. At home, it feels like you’re roommates instead of a couple, simply coexisting under the same roof.
10. The sleeping on opposite edges phase
The bed feels bigger than ever because you’re both clinging to the edges like it’s a lifeboat. Physical intimacy is practically non-existent, and even casual touches like hugs or hand-holding have become rare.
11. The replaying old arguments phase
Every disagreement starts to feel like déjà vu because you’re having the same fights over and over. The unresolved issues pile up, and instead of solving them, you both just rehash the same points.
12. The overthinking everything phase
You start analysing every interaction, from the tone of their voice to how they look at you. Was that sigh frustration or indifference? Are they annoyed, or is it just a bad day? You spend more time in your head than actually talking to them.
13. The talking to everyone else phase
Instead of discussing issues with your partner, you vent to your friends, your sister, or even your hairstylist. By the time you finally bring it up at home, you’ve rehearsed the conversation so many times that it feels scripted.
14. The “let’s just ignore it” phase
You both sense something is wrong, but no one wants to address it. Instead, you go through the motions, hoping it will magically fix itself. Spoiler: It doesn’t. Ignoring the problem only adds more distance between you.
15. The imagining single life phase
You start daydreaming about what life might look like without them. Maybe you picture a quiet flat, solo holidays, or eating whatever you want without judgment. The thought of freedom starts feeling more appealing than compromise.
16. The “why are we even together?” phase
When the arguments and tension reach a boiling point, you begin questioning the entire relationship. Why did you get married in the first place? What’s keeping you together now? These questions linger, and they’re hard to ignore.
17. The “decision time” phase
Finally, you hit the point where something has to give. Whether it’s couples therapy, a trial separation, or a decision to go your separate ways, you know you can’t stay in limbo forever. It’s time to figure out what comes next, for better or for worse.
