Society doesn’t look very kindly on people who are overweight.
They’re often seen as lazy, lacking willpower, and downright gross by many, and the way they’re treated is often terrible as a result. The truth is that unless you’ve experienced obesity in your life, you can never truly understand the struggles of that experience. Obesity is a medical condition just like any other, and its causes are a lot more nuanced than “you eat too many takeaways”. Here are some of the concerns overweight people have to deal with on a daily basis.
1. The constant mental maths when choosing a seat
Every time you walk into a room, you’re sizing up the chairs. Is it too small? Will it hold your weight? This mental calculation becomes second nature in places like aeroplanes or restaurants, turning what should be a relaxing moment into a low-key stressful one. It’s not just about fitting comfortably—it’s the fear of being embarrassed if things go wrong.
2. The fear of breaking furniture
Source: Unsplash You know that sinking feeling when you sit on a flimsy-looking chair? For someone overweight, this worry is always there. The fear of crashing through a chair, especially in public, can make even sitting down an anxiety-inducing event. It makes you hyper-aware of where you sit, and often leads to sitting on the edge of your seat, literally and figuratively.
3. The struggle of finding clothes that fit and look good
Shopping isn’t just annoying—it’s a mission. Most stores don’t carry your size, and even when they do, the options are usually basic or unflattering. Trying on clothes that don’t fit or feel good chips away at your confidence. The rare moment you find something that fits and looks decent feels like winning the lottery, and those pieces often become staples in your wardrobe for that reason.
4. The unsolicited health advice from everyone
People love offering “tips” on weight loss, as if you haven’t thought of that already. Whether it’s well-meaning family or a stranger who thinks they’re being helpful, it feels condescending and hurtful. They assume your size is something you haven’t noticed or don’t care about, ignoring how complicated weight and health can actually be.
5. The way people assume you’re lazy or lack willpower
There’s this persistent stereotype that if you’re overweight, you must be lazy or just can’t control yourself around food. What they don’t see are the other factors that could be at play—like medical conditions, stress, or genetics. You could be working harder than anyone knows, but it’s still dismissed because of your size.
6. The physical discomfort of everyday activities
Things like tying your shoes or walking up stairs become way more challenging. Your body just feels heavier, which can leave you short of breath or in pain after tasks most people don’t think twice about. Public transport can be a nightmare too, especially with seats that are too narrow or seatbelts that barely fit. It’s a daily reminder that your body doesn’t match what the world seems to expect.
7. The impact on your dating life
Dating when you’re overweight comes with a whole extra set of worries. Are they into you, or are they just settling? There’s also the fear of being fetishised, where people aren’t interested in you as a person, just your body. It makes trusting potential partners tough, and you might even second-guess genuine compliments because of past experiences.
8. The way your weight becomes your defining characteristic
No matter what you accomplish, it sometimes feels like people only notice your size. Whether it’s being called “the big guy” or having people make off-hand comments, it’s like your whole identity gets reduced to your appearance. It’s frustrating, especially when you know you have so much more to offer.
9. The guilt associated with eating in public
Eating in public can feel like everyone’s watching your plate. You wonder if people are judging your choices, thinking you’re overeating or not trying to be healthy. Even something as simple as grabbing lunch with friends can feel loaded with stress and self-consciousness. It’s tough to enjoy your food when you feel like you have to justify what’s on your plate.
10. The difficulty of finding medical care not focused on weight
You go to the doctor for a sore throat, and somehow, the conversation shifts to your weight. It’s frustrating when every medical issue seems to circle back to weight loss, even when it’s unrelated. The worst part is when legitimate concerns are brushed aside because they’re assumed to be weight-related, making it hard to get proper care.
11. The emotional toll of yo-yo dieting
Losing weight, gaining it back, and repeating the cycle can be emotionally exhausting. You start with hope, but every setback brings shame and frustration. This pattern chips away at your confidence and leaves you feeling stuck in a never-ending battle. The emotional rollercoaster can impact how you see yourself and affect your relationships, as the fear of failure lingers even during successful attempts.
12. The fear of being the “before” picture
In a culture obsessed with weight loss transformations, it can feel like you’re constantly stuck in the “before” stage. There’s a pressure to always be working on becoming the “after,” making it hard to enjoy your life or accept yourself as you are. This mindset reinforces the idea that you’re not good enough now and makes you feel like your current self is just a work in progress rather than someone worthy of appreciation.
13. The way childhood obesity affects adulthood
If you were overweight as a child, those early experiences often follow you into adulthood. The bullying, isolation, or feeling different from other kids leaves emotional scars that impact your relationship with food, fitness, and even self-worth. These memories can make it difficult to shake off negative patterns, and you might still carry a lot of the hurt from how you were treated back then.
14. The constant awareness of your body in space
When you’re overweight, you’re always conscious of how much space you take up. Whether it’s navigating through a crowd or sitting at a table in a packed restaurant, you’re aware of how your body fits into these spaces. The fear of being in the way or bumping into people adds extra stress to simple tasks, and this hyper-awareness can prevent you from feeling fully comfortable in public settings.
15. The impact on your career
Weight discrimination in the workplace is real (plenty of studies have proven it), and it can hold you back even if you’re qualified and hard-working. You might notice subtle biases during job interviews, or perhaps you’re overlooked for promotions. This kind of discrimination isn’t just frustrating—it can affect your confidence and career growth, leaving you feeling like your size is the only thing people notice, no matter how capable you are.
16. The complexity of your relationship with food
Food can be a battleground of emotions when you’re overweight. It’s rarely just about hunger; it might be comfort, a reward, or even something you feel guilty about. Navigating your relationship with food can be challenging, as it often comes with a mix of pleasure and regret. What should be a simple decision becomes a complicated emotional experience, making it hard to enjoy eating without second-guessing yourself.
17. The way weight loss doesn’t solve everything
A lot of people think shedding pounds will solve all your problems, but that’s not how it works. While you might feel healthier, the emotional challenges don’t just disappear. Things like loose skin, a changed sense of self, or shifting dynamics in relationships can bring new problems. It’s a reality check when you realise that while losing weight can improve certain aspects of life, it’s not a magic fix for everything.
