Everyone wants to be liked, but there are a whole lot of people out there who make being around them a pretty miserable experience.
No one’s suggesting that you’re unlikeable or not very nice, but there may be certain habits and quirks you have that make you seem difficult. No one’s perfect, of course, but if you recognise yourself in any of these behaviours, it might be time to reassess and change, at least a little bit.
1. You always need to be right.
Source: Unsplash It’s exhausting to be around someone who can’t admit when they’re wrong. If you find yourself arguing every point, even minor ones, it might be time to take a step back. Being open to other perspectives can make you much more approachable.
2. You interrupt people constantly.
Cutting into conversations shows that you value your thoughts more than everyone else’s. It’s frustrating for those trying to express themselves. Practice active listening instead. Let people finish their thoughts before you jump in.
3. You’re always complaining.
Constant negativity is draining for the people around you. If your go-to conversation starter is a complaint, people might start avoiding you. Try to balance your grievances with some positive stuff — your life can’t be that bad (and if it is, you need to talk to a professional rather than venting to your colleagues, friends, and family members non-stop).
4. You don’t respect personal boundaries.
Everyone has different comfort levels with personal space and sharing information. If you’re always pushing for more closeness or information than people are ready to give, it can make people uncomfortable. Pay attention to social cues and respect when someone sets a boundary.
5. You’re unreliable.
Consistently showing up late or failing to follow through on commitments is frustrating. It sends the message that you don’t value other people’s time. If you struggle with punctuality or following through, start setting reminders or alarms to help you stay on track.
6. You never stop gossiping.
While a bit of gossip is normal, if you’re constantly talking about people behind their backs, people will wonder what you say about them when they’re not around. Focus on more positive topics of conversation to build trust with people.
7. You’re overly critical.
If your first response to everything is criticism, people will start to dread sharing things with you. Try to balance constructive feedback with positive reinforcement. Look for the good in situations and people’s efforts.
8. You dominate every conversation.
Conversations should be a two-way street. If you find yourself doing all the talking, the people around you might feel unheard or unimportant. Practice asking questions and showing genuine interest in other people’s thoughts and experiences.
9. You refuse to compromise.
Relationships, whether personal or professional, require give and take. If you always insist on having things your way, it can lead to resentment. Be willing to find middle ground and consider other people’s needs and preferences.
10. You’re always the victim.
Constantly portraying yourself as the wronged party can be exhausting for people. If you’re always blaming everyone else for all your problems, it might be time for some self-reflection. Take responsibility for your part in situations.
11. You overshare inappropriate information.
While openness is generally good, there’s such a thing as too much information. Sharing extremely personal details or inappropriate stories in casual settings can make people uncomfortable. Be mindful of your audience and the setting.
12. You’re inflexible.
Life requires adaptability. If you’re rigid in your ways and unwilling to try new things or adjust to changes, it can be frustrating for those around you. Try to be open to new ideas and ways of doing things.
13. You’re always desperate for attention.
Constantly trying to be the centre of attention can be off-putting. It’s okay to share the spotlight. Show interest in other people and let them shine too. This creates a more balanced and enjoyable social dynamic.
14. You lack empathy.
If you struggle to understand or care about other people’s feelings, it can make you seem cold or uncaring. Practise putting yourself in other people’s shoes. Ask how they’re feeling and really listen to their responses.
15. You’re passive-aggressive.
Indirect expressions of negative feelings, like sarcasm or backhanded compliments, create a tense atmosphere. If something’s bothering you, it’s better to address it directly and respectfully.
16. You don’t respect people’s time.
This goes beyond just being late. If you’re always trying to extend meetings or conversations when people have expressed they need to leave, it shows a lack of consideration. Be mindful of people’s schedules and commitments.
17. You refuse to admit when you need help.
Stubbornly insisting on doing everything yourself, even when you’re struggling, can be frustrating for those around you. It’s okay to ask for help sometimes. It shows trust in other people and can actually strengthen relationships.
