Navigating a relationship with a manipulative mother can be emotionally exhausting.
While they may have your best interests at heart (or so they say), their actions often leave you feeling confused, hurt, and questioning your own worth. It’s important to recognise that these feelings aren’t your fault, and that you’re not alone in experiencing them. Here are some common ways manipulative mothers can make you feel bad, and how to start breaking free from their influence.
1. You feel like you can never do anything right.
No matter how hard you try, your efforts always seem to fall short of your mother’s expectations. She might criticise your choices, belittle your accomplishments, or compare you to people in a negative way. This constant negativity can really knock your self-esteem and leave you feeling inadequate and incapable.
2. You feel guilty for having your own needs and desires.
Manipulative mothers often use guilt trips to control your behaviour. They might make you feel selfish for pursuing your own dreams, prioritising your well-being, or setting boundaries. This can leave you feeling trapped and obligated to put their needs above your own, even when it’s detrimental to your own happiness.
3. You feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
You’re constantly on edge, anticipating your mother’s next criticism or outburst. You might censor your words, avoid certain topics, or even tiptoe around her to avoid triggering her disapproval. This constant state of anxiety can be exhausting and prevent you from being your true self.
4. You feel responsible for your mother’s happiness.
Manipulative mothers often put the burden of their emotional well-being on their children. They might guilt you into spending time with them, taking care of them, or even sacrificing your own happiness to make them feel better. This can create a sense of obligation that’s difficult to break free from, even as an adult.
5. You feel like your mother is always the victim.
No matter what happens, your mother always seems to find a way to cast herself as the victim. She might blame you for her problems, exaggerate her hardships, or downplay your own struggles. This can be incredibly frustrating and make you feel like your feelings and experiences are invalid.
6. You feel like you can’t trust your own judgment.
Manipulative mothers often undermine your confidence and decision-making abilities. They might question your choices, offer unsolicited advice, or try to control your life. Over time, this can destroy your self-trust and make you doubt your own instincts and intuition.
7. You feel like you’re constantly chasing your mother’s approval.
No matter what you achieve, it never seems to be enough to earn your mother’s unconditional love and acceptance. You might find yourself constantly trying to earn her approval, even as an adult. This can be a never-ending cycle that leaves you feeling emotionally drained and unfulfilled.
8. You feel like your mother is never satisfied with you.
No matter how hard you try to please her, your mother always seems to find something to criticise. This can create a sense of inadequacy and leave you feeling like you’ll never be good enough in her eyes. This constant dissatisfaction can be emotionally draining and make it difficult to build a healthy sense of self-worth.
9. You feel like you’re constantly competing for your mother’s attention.
Whether it’s through passive-aggressive comments, playing favourites among siblings, or constantly needing to be the centre of attention, your mother makes you feel like you’re in a never-ending competition for her love and validation. This can create a sense of insecurity and make it difficult to form healthy relationships with other people.
10. You feel like your mother uses your secrets against you.
Sharing your vulnerabilities with your mother can feel like a risk, as she might use your personal information to manipulate or control you. This can create a sense of betrayal and make it difficult to trust her, or anyone else, with your innermost thoughts and feelings.
11. You feel like your mother is jealous of you.
Sometimes, manipulative mothers might feel threatened by your successes, happiness, or independence. They might try to undermine your achievements, belittle your relationships, or even sabotage your efforts. This can be a confusing and hurtful experience, leaving you feeling guilty for simply being yourself.
12. You feel like your mother is never wrong.
Even when faced with evidence to the contrary, your mother refuses to admit her mistakes or take responsibility for her actions. She might deflect blame, twist the truth, or simply ignore your attempts to have a rational discussion. This can be incredibly frustrating and make you feel like your voice doesn’t matter.
13. You feel like your mother is always right.
Similarly, your mother might insist that her opinions and beliefs are the only valid ones. She might dismiss your ideas, invalidate your feelings, or try to mould you into her image. This can be suffocating and prevent you from developing your own identity and values.
14. You feel like your mother uses emotional blackmail.
Manipulative mothers might threaten to withdraw their love, affection, or support if you don’t comply with their wishes. They might play on your guilt, fear, or sense of obligation to get what they want. This can be incredibly damaging and make it difficult to set healthy boundaries.
15. You feel like your mother uses passive-aggressive tactics.
Instead of directly expressing their anger or disapproval, manipulative mothers might resort to subtle digs, backhanded compliments, or silent treatment. This can be confusing and leave you feeling anxious and unsure of where you stand.
16. You feel like your mother is controlling your life.
Whether it’s through guilt trips, emotional manipulation, or outright control, your mother might try to dictate your choices, relationships, and even your career path. This can be suffocating and prevent you from living your own life on your own terms.
17. You feel like you need to protect your mother.
Source: Unsplash You might find yourself making excuses for your mother’s behaviour, covering up her mistakes, or even lying to protect her image. This can be emotionally draining and prevent you from acknowledging the truth of your situation and getting the support you need.
