Loneliness isn’t just something introverts experience — extroverts can feel isolated too, even when surrounded by people.
Sure, they’re generally bubbly and outgoing, but that doesn’t mean they might not be struggling internally with feeling disconnected and alone. Here are some behaviours that might mean an extrovert is feeling lonely. They’re not as obvious as you might think, but if you notice them, do what you can to help them out.
1. They’re always available.
A lonely extrovert will jump at any chance for social interaction. They’re likely to be the first to respond to invitations or suggest meet-ups. If someone’s always free at a moment’s notice, they might be craving connection. Sadly, their constant availability can sometimes come across as desperate or clingy to people who don’t understand the underlying loneliness.
2. They overshare in conversations.
Source: Unsplash When they do get the chance to talk, they might go overboard. Sharing personal information too quickly or diving into deep topics with new acquaintances can be a sign of loneliness. They’re eager to form connections and might rush the process. Constantly oversharing can sometimes make people uncomfortable, which inadvertently pushes people away instead of drawing them closer.
3. They’re constantly on social media.
Lonely extroverts often turn to social media for a sense of connection. They might be posting frequently, commenting on everything, or always active on messaging apps. It’s their way of reaching out when physical social interactions are lacking. However, connections that are only online tend to be a poor substitute for real-world interactions, potentially exacerbating feelings of loneliness.
4. They’re always acting out for attention in groups.
Source: Unsplash In social situations, they might go to great lengths to be the centre of attention. It might come out as loud behaviour, outrageous stories, or constant jokes. They’re trying to ensure they’re noticed and included, and while this behaviour might garner attention in the short term, it can be exhausting for both the extrovert and everyone around them.
5. They struggle with alone time.
While everyone needs some solitude, lonely extroverts might find it really tough. They may feel restless or anxious when alone, constantly looking for ways to fill the silence or interact with people. Their inability to be okay on their own can lead to a fear of being alone, making it difficult for them to enjoy necessary downtime or self-reflection.
6. They’re overly agreeable.
In their eagerness to maintain connections, they might agree with everything other people say. They may avoid expressing differing opinions for fear of conflict or rejection. Of course, people-pleasing behaviour comes from a fear of losing social connections. Over time, they can end up losing their identity as they suppress their own thoughts and feelings to fit in.
7. They’re always trying to make plans to hang out.
Source: Unsplash Lonely extroverts often take on the role of social coordinator. They’re constantly suggesting outings, organising events, or trying to gather people together. While initiative is positive, constant planning might point to a fear of being left out. Their behaviour can sometimes be overwhelming for friends who have other commitments or prefer less frequent social interactions.
8. They have many acquaintances but few close friends.
Source: Unsplash They might know lots of people but lack deep, meaningful friendships. Their social circle is wide but shallow, and their quantity-over-quality approach is often an attempt to fill a void of genuine connection. Despite being surrounded by people, they may still feel a deep sense of loneliness due to the lack of depth in these relationships.
9. They’re always busy.
A packed schedule doesn’t always mean a fulfilling social life. Lonely extroverts might fill their calendar with activities and meetups, avoiding any downtime that might lead to feelings of loneliness. Their constant busyness can lead to burnout and may actually prevent them from forming the deep connections they crave.
10. They’re overly enthusiastic about small interactions.
A brief chat with a cashier or a smile from a stranger might make them disproportionately happy. These small social interactions become highlights in a day lacking deeper connections. While their enthusiasm can be endearing, it might also point to a deeper need for more meaningful social engagement.
11. They’re quick to form attachments.
Lonely extroverts might latch onto new friends or romantic interests very quickly. They may become intensely invested in new relationships, sometimes overwhelming the other person with their enthusiasm. Their intensity can sometimes scare off potential friends or partners, which leads to a cycle of brief connections and more disappointment.
12. They often feel misunderstood.
Despite their social nature, lonely extroverts might frequently express feeling misunderstood or out of place. They’re surrounded by people but don’t feel truly seen or appreciated for who they are. The disconnect between their outward sociability and feelings of isolation can be extremely upsetting for extroverts.
13. They’re prone to FOMO (Fear of Missing Out).
They experience intense anxiety about missing social events or gatherings. Even if they’re tired, they’ll push themselves to go out rather than risk feeling left out. Living in such a constant fear is exhausting and may actually detract from their enjoyment of social events when they do attend.
14. They struggle with boundaries.
In their desire for connection, lonely extroverts might overstep social boundaries. They may call at inappropriate times, stay too long at gatherings, or be overly physically affectionate with casual acquaintances. Their lack of boundaries can make people seriously uncomfortable and may actually them people away, exacerbating the extrovert’s loneliness.
15. They’re always the last to leave.
Source: Unsplash At parties or social events, they’re invariably the last ones out the door. They stretch out social interactions as long as possible because they want to avoid being alone again. Unfortunately, this kind of behaviour can be frustrating for hosts or friends who are ready for the event to end, potentially causing tension in relationships.
16. They talk about their social life… a lot.
They tend to bring up past social events or name-drop friends in conversation because they want to prove they have an active social life, even if they’re feeling lonely. However, focusing so much on socialising can come across as bragging or insecurity to other people, potentially alienating the very people they’re trying to connect with.
17. They’re unusually interested in other people’s social lives.
Lonely extroverts might ask lots of questions about people’s friendships and activities. While it may seem like genuine interest, it can also be a way of living vicariously through everyone else’s social experiences. Their intense curiosity can sometimes feel intrusive to other people, especially if they’re more private about their social lives.
18. They’re easily hurt.
They might overreact to not being invited to an event or included in a group chat. Small social oversights that other people might not notice can deeply affect a lonely extrovert, reinforcing their feelings of isolation. Their sensitivity can lead to misunderstandings and drama, potentially straining relationships and furthering their feelings of loneliness.
